Saturday, January 31, 2009

This was the moment

Of all the wonderful moments on inauguration day, this song finally brought me to tears. Don't know why it took me so long, probably because I watched most of the day at work. Yes We Can.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Cleaning up GOP cowpies.

Lord Have Mercy I hate George W. Bush and all he's done to rip apart our democracy. Here's another steaming dog turd he left behind for the progressives to clean up. My sincere hope is that they all end up in prison. I'm NOT ready to forgive and forget. No justice, no peace. Know justice, know peace.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

A good night's sleep

Sleep has become a bit elusive here lately.

First off, the neighbors have dogs that are not long for this world, if I have anything to do with it. First the Labrador retriever starts up, then the Pomeranians have to chime in. Granted it only lasts maybe 20 seconds, but it happens at 2 hour intervals and I'm ready to commit dogicide. My cousin, in the vet business, says I could put Tylenol in balls of raw hamburger and throw them over the fence. They'd die and the Tylenol would never show up. Oh shut up, I'm not going to kill them for real but I want them silenced.

Second, we have an old lumpy mattress. I was actually whimpering reading Melinda June's description of her new bed. Four years ago we made the horrid mistake of buying an ultrafirm mattress. Now our hips and shoulders have bruises and my hands fall asleep, which wakes me up. Oh the irony of it all.

And last, I've developed an embarrassing snoring habit. I snort myself out of sound sleep more often than I'd like to admit. Yes, I've been tested and it's not bad enough to call it sleep apnea. I'm pushing for one of those astronaut-face-mask CPAP thingys anyway. Hubby snores too, and his cpap is gathering dust in the closet.

It's all a conspiracy, I swear.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I won, I won!

I've won a major award at Who Is This Gym Fellow I Keep Hearing So Much About?. What is it you ask? It's a MAJOR AWARD!
Who says that a simple little jog around the track won't get you anywhere? It has gotten me major acclaim and world-wide recognition!
Thank you Melissa!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Twenty Amazing Women

I've been tagged by Liberality to list 20 amazing women. Only twenty? I could list hundreds.
If you want to play along, you are officially tagged.

My three daughters

Jamie Lee Curtis - for not being afraid to show her age

Madame Curie

Marian Anderson

Martha Stewart

Mary Chapman Catt

Rosa Parks

Sojourner Truth

Shirley Chisholm

Julia Child

Marian Wright Edelman

Dr. Helen Caldicott

Janeane Garofalo

Ellen DeGeneres

Emma Goldman

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Carole King

Cathy Bates

Billie Jean King

Benazir Bhutto

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Still loving THE HAT

Apparently I'm not the only one smitten with THE HAT! My youngest and I stumbled on the facebook fans of Aretha Franklin's Inauguration Hat and scrolled through the photoshop jobs. If you don't believe Americans are one hilarious group of people, go through the photos. Am I'm still LOVIN THAT HAT!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Uncle Sam's Bathtub Pork

Anyone remember I mentioned that my Uncle Sam, at his cabin in the woods, makes pork in the bathtub? This is my gene pool, it explains a lot of my behavior, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Uncle Sam is an ISU-educated Civil Engineer with a Midas Touch at everything he does. In a few weeks I'll share his chili instructions.

Here is his recipe, verbatim:


The problem with this recipe is that you really need a cast iron bathtub. Now those are becoming somewhat hard to find. You see them in folks' front yard with a statue of the blessed mother, some folks put flowers in them, others use them for horse troughs. Well the best use is a barbecue pit. I forgot to mention that some folks still think they should be used for bathing. Get yourself a cast iron bathtub. Go to the dump, recycle shop, antique dealer, or through the stealth of night get one. You'll be the envy of the neighborhood.

Now you'll need a grate to lay on top of the tub. The fire goes in the tub and the grate sits over the fire. A heavy screen from a gravel plants is ideal. They throw them away, you catch one. If this is not available, build one. Next you need a pan to sit on the grate with a grate inside the pan to put the pork on. Find a friend who can weld. If you don't have a friend, make one but make sure he can weld (or she. I don't know many lady welders but work with what you have.) You'll need a hood to cover the pan. Go to any heating and cooling contractor and they can make a light weight hood. A steel barrel cut in half will work but it does get heavy.

Now you put the fire in the tub, the grate over the fire, the pan over the grate, the grate in the pan and the hood over the grate and the pan and you have a bathtub barbecue. Ain't that somethin'.

The fire is an integral part of this whole operation. You need some well cured Iowa oak. I suppose oak from Missouri, Illinois or even France would work but I know Iowa oak is just right. You can use cherry, apple, pecan, mesquite, plum or maple but it has been my experience that oak smoke blended with the fat of pork is a culinary delight.

Let's talk about the fire. You start it 1/2 hour before you put the pork on. You don't start it and walk away. Get some kindling. That's small dry pieces of wood that will start readily. Use newspaper under the kindling, it's cheap and quick. Put dry oak wood on the fire while it is starting. You want all the paper and kindling to be burned out before you lay on the pork. In that first 1/2 hour you should build up a good bed of burning oak coals. This is the working bed of your fire. You will add oak wood to the fire throughout the cooking process. Make sure you have pieces that vary in size. The largest should be no bigger than 5" in diameter.

And if you're going to cook pork, you should have some. Go to your local meat market and ask for a full loin of pork, bone in. This is a piece of the hog that is 1/2 of the whole back. It's all those pork chops all hooked together. You will want to cut it in half for cooking purposes. This piece of pork will serve up to 30 hungry souls after cooking. Before you put the pork on the fire, you spread it with salt. Plain old kitchen salt. Use the container it comes in, pour salt on the outside of the pork (all sides) and rub it in with your bare hands. Now put it on the grate that sits over the pan that sits over the grate that sit over the fire. Put on the cover and let it go. You must tend the fire! It must not be too hot (the meat will catch fire) or too cold (the meat won't cook). Lay your hand on top of the hood, If you can leave it there, your fire is not hot enough. If you touch it and it's too hot to leave your hand there, it's probably about right.

You will need to cook it for 4 to5 hours. Check it a couple of times in the process. At the 3 hour mark you can slice off some pieces to taste. When it is done you can grab a rib bone and it will feel loose. If it feels loose eat the pork. If it doesn't feel loose maybe your feel is bad. Cut the piece of pork in two pieces, look at it, and make up your own mind.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Ahhh, I got nothin

I got nothing to say.

It's late January and life is fine, and I'm just a little bored. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. Boredom means everything is peaceful and as it should be for now.

The big news is that I actually jogged this week. For some of you that sounds laughably easy, but I'm built for comfort not for speed, and jogging doesn't come naturally to me. Like trying to drive a yacht on dry land. Did I just compare myself to a yacht?

Lots of errands, laundry, and other mundane tasks for the foreseeable future. But that is OK BY ME! The only big event I want to happen is a fat check in the mail or for Publisher's Clearing House to show up on my doorstep.

Maybe I'll make some soup or some cookies. That'll liven things up, right?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

It's real, My God it's real

He's really in the Oval Office. He's really President. The Evil One is really gone. I'm not dreaming. America is being governed again with intelligence and thoughtful consideration. I'm still in shock, but the most supremely happy version of shock ever. Ever.

Another barrier was broken yesterday

The inaugural parade did NOT disappoint! I love marching bands!! I get a chill hearing the drums and horns. Especially bagpipes - goosebumps aplenty. But the Gay and Lesbian Marching Band made me cry - another big ole barrier smashed to bits. Did anyone else think the Azalea Maids following them were more of their unit? Sadly, no. Please jump to my little sister's place to see her 7-year-old's artistic rendering of the parade.

I LOVED the hat

Hey, folks! Lay off Aretha's hat! I loved that thing, and I thought she rocked it!

Like my friend Melissa, I think we women should start wearing big ole hats again. How regal! And I want to start with one like Ms. Franklin's.


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Am I Dreaming?

Someone pinch me, I think I'm dreaming . . .
Is Barack Obama now officially our President?
Did George W. Bush really fly away from Washington, never to disgrace the White House again?
Is Dick Cheney really deposed?
Is our current President really smart? and educated? and well read? and thoughtful?
Did America truly transcend its racism and elect a black man?
Is MY SIDE really in charge?

My tears of joy didn't start flowing until Beyonce sang "At Last" to the Obamas during their first dance as President and First Lady. I was at work all day, a bit unseemly to cry at work.

What a great day. If I'm dreaming, don't wake me up.

Monday, January 19, 2009

When bad companies get worse

Circuit City deserves to go bankrupt!

It's all over the news the Circuit City is going belly up and putting 30,000 Americans out of work. They are advertising great savings during this financial crisis. Hubby needs a laptop and a new phone, so we drove over last night to check out the fire sale. They are failing, so ready to unload all that merchandise and close up shop, right?

WRONG! Their big idea of savings was 10% off!! I kid you not, 10%! And that was off an already high price. Their kids DVDs were priced at $22! For a DVD I could get at Target for $10. Everything else was just the same. Crap I could get at Target for quite a bit less. And without a return policy because next week they won't be there. So I say good riddance, and I hope they paid their unemployment insurance premiums.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

And you thought you knew me . . . . .

I've been tagged by themom to a meme to list 6 random things about myself. I was supposed to post the rules, but they basically say "list 6 random things about yourself" and I found them redundant, and I loathe being redundant and that's really probably random thing #1 but who's counting?

I love that name - themom - so authoritative! I think her tag line should be "because I said so!"

Anyway, on with the show . . . .

1. I have a great singing voice, and I often feel guilty that I never "did" anything with it. I daydream plenty about singing in great folk/blues/bluegrass bands. I bitterly envy Alison Krause because she's living my dream, and she's got nothing on me. Well, OK, she also plays instruments that come in rather handy in folk/blues/bluegrass bands. I can play the clarinet.
And ever since having breast cancer in 2003, I've developed this bizarre anxiety symptom that makes me faint when singing - and I don't mean just solos. I mean if I'm in a crowd singing the Star Spangled Banner I get all lightheaded and dizzy. It's a bitch, but there you go.

2. When I was a kid, I used to wonder if I had a developmental disability and no one wanted to tell me.

3. Whenever I take personality tests, I'm always vaguely in the middle and never come out as definitively one personality type. Keeps me flexible I guess.

4. Probably because of #3, I've never found my vocational niche. And this has been the sorrow of my life. I have no idea what I'll be when I grow up. I'd love to cater, but only 9-4 on weekdays. I'd love to be a nurse but I don't want to handle warm poop. You get the picture. I'm all dressed up with no place to go.

5. I'm kind of lazy. I'll always search for the easiest route between points A and B. Perhaps I'm not lazy, just efficient.

6. During the last 8-9 years I'm having recurring dreams that align along about 3 boring but emotional themes. They are really starting to irritate me. I never feel rested because I "lived" all night long. They mean nothing and everything and I wish they'd stop so I can have some peace.

Think I just overshared.

I tag Little Sister, Cheesecake Maven, Ode to Humanity, Melinda June, and Kirby


It's 27 degrees below right now. That's the actual temperature. That doesn't count the windchill which is somewhere around 40-50 below. Someone should do something about this.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Another year closer to cronedom

It's my birthday today. I can now safely say I'm in my late forties. But let's just say I'm 30, because that's how I feel. Pay no attention to that gray hair! I'm forever young!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


Remember that high of zero I mentioned? A walk in the tropics that would be. Our high today is 4 below. Yes, four degrees below zero. With a windchill of about 25 below. Good thing I wore lined pants, cuddle duds, and knee socks.

I'm subbing at the High School today, and I lost count of all the kids wearing short sleeves, no coats, no socks. etc. The future leaders of America apparently can't read a thermometer.

On the plus side, the sky is the most incredible blue and the sun on the snow is brilliant.

Monday, January 12, 2009


Our high tomorrow, and most of this week is zero. With high winds. Meaning deeply cold wind chills.

If I send up a flare, would someone come get me please?

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Fight! Fight!

There is nothing I hate more than fighting with my husband. OK, having a wood plane run up my shin might be the thing I hate the most. But fighting with hubby would come in second.

Don't you hate those disagreements where you end up wondering how you could possible love this thoughtless jerk who wouldn't apologize even to save his life, never listens, and can't even TRY to see things from your point of view? While at the same time he's questioning how in the world he ended up with such a psycho who has absolutely no consideration of his feelings? Then you resolve the issue and say your "I love yous" but you're still bleeding in your heart and still have that little niggling voice telling you it isn't REALLY resolved by a long shot?

I hate those fights.

Friday, January 9, 2009

More ironic kid quotes

1. The weather is below zero. My teens leave the house in only a hooded sweatshirt, no hat, no mittens. I ask "it that all you are wearing outside?" They answer "Yeah, because I don't want to look dumb!"

2. Youngest struggles for over a minute each trying to force her feet into closed snowboots. I ask "Why don't you unlatch the velcro, THEN put them on?" She answers "Because that would take too long!"

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Kids say the most ironic things

A conversation I overheard today:

9-year-old to her 15-year-old sister: You shouldn't wear those pants, they look weird!
15-year-old: Well I like them
9-year-old: But they aren't very fashionable
15-year-old: Well I like to have my own style. That's why I buy clothes at the mall that I like, not the ones that are fashionable.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A Minnesota New Year's Resolution

My New Year's resolution is to stick a sock in the mouth of anyone who claims Al Franken is not my legitimate senator! That includes you Norm Coleman, especially you. And that sock will be sweaty, dirty, and smelly - just like your politics.

If you can stomach it, watch what he said on Nov. 5th about any recount and the results.

Monday, January 5, 2009

A New Zealot

On the drive home we listened to one of my all time favorite soundtracks: Jesus Christ Superstar. I know this whole movie by heart and still rock out with it when I'm alone.

The above portion is one great moment - the dancing, the energy, all centered on Simon Zealot. Check out the lame dancer in gold pants at about 4:25. Cracks me up everytime.

Well now our little 9-year-old beanster has become a new devotee. She's obsessed with the movie, and has frequent questions I can't answer. How do you explain symbolism and artistic rendition to a very literal fourth grader?
"Mom, why are there tanks in this movie? They didn't have tanks back then!"
"Mom, why are they all acting sad at the end?"
"Mom, did Herod really act like that?"

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Happy Birthday Twins!

Today my twins turn 15!
Despite my complaining about their snotty behavior, they are each turning into interesting young women and will make most excellent adults. And when their daughters are teens, I'm buying front row seats. My birthday is on the 14th, so it's a birthday month at our house.

Hubby and I brought home an extremely nasty New York cold virus so don't get near us. I can hardly type I'm so dizzy with congestion and cold medication

So their homemade red velvet birthday cake will have to wait a few days. Unless they want cold virus cake.