This morning started with an unfortunate but rather hilarious espresso accident. You may recall I got a lovely cappuccino maker for free. I hadn't used it in a while, so dove right in without responsible adult supervision.
Heed my advice, where explosive and potentially dangerous steam-under-pressure is involved, get the damn manual.
I pulled something apart when I shouldn't have and created the mother of all coffee explosions on the kitchen counter. Ever tried to wipe soggy finely-ground espresso beans from every single nook, crevice, horizontal AND vertical surface in your kitchen? Especially when they've been blown there by force? Espresso and safety FAIL.
Fortunately no one was hurt. But I seriously saw my life flash before my eyes.
The morning was redeemed however by popovers with almond butter. Courtesy of my unauthorized co-blogger Shan, here is the recipe. They are so incredibly easy and wonderful that they may soon become illegal. I top them with Almond Butter, which is just a stick of softened butter, about 1T of powdered sugar, and just a drop of almond extract all mixed up.
Today I plan to harvest the onions, carrots, and basil from the garden. I'll probably end up impaling myself on a tomato support or strangling myself with the hose.
I love history, marching bands, bagpipes, reenactments, living history farms, roadside markers, civil war novels, period costumes, trivia, guided walking tours, consignment shops, the 4H entries at the county fair, ghost stories, Stephen Ambrose, David McCullough, museums, etc. I usually find myself at events frequented by Senior Citizens.
Found my soul mate through my pick for book club: Sarah Vowell. I chose her book "Assassination Vacation" and loved every single minute of it. In fact loved it so much I ran down to the library to get her collection of essays "The Partly Cloudy Patriot".
"Assassination Vacation" is a self-deprecating history dork's examination of Lincoln's, Garfield's, and McKinley's Presidential murders. The author also often finds herself amid the elderly while feeding her lust for the minutiae of history. Funny and entertaining and like smokehouse almonds for me: just can't get enough.
Our book club met last night and I was astounded to learn not everyone shared my quivery tingly feelings about President Garfield's love of books, and my hope we could rename our club the President Garfield Memorial Book Club.
But what really trips my trigger is the Civil War era music, and of course costuming. Below is a clip from an earlier Vintage Band Fest. They are dueling across the Cannon River in lovely downtown Northfield. Why the Civil War especially? Maybe it's because one of my ancestor's fought for the Union. More likely it's because Civil War buffs are dorks of the highest caliber.
Mind you you'll NEVER find me at a Renaissance Fest. Those people bug the living bejeebus out of me. And I've never knowingly come within 100 yards of a D&D game. I'm not THAT kind of a dork.
Now that I think of it, scores of volunteers are involved in this Festival, so I must not be alone in my dorkitude. I'll be volunteering next year - I want to walk around town wearing a beat-up tuba - that is how they are collecting donations. Folks through their coins and bills in the tuba! Perhaps I'll get my hands on a 1860's style dress and go in character. I get giddy thinking about it.
I consider myself a well-educated person. Luckily I've been able to do some traveling, and my thirst for books has created a long list of tomes I've read. But the things I haven't done still astound me.
Some book I haven't read:
Catcher in the Rye
The Autobiography of Malcolm X
The Poisonwood Bible
The Bell Jar
David Copperfield
Great Expectations
Some films I haven't seen:
Citizen Kane
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
The Big Lebowski
My Dinner with Andre
North by Northwest
I haven't traveled to:
Outside the US, except Canada
The Grand Canyon
The Pacific Northwest
New Orleans
No, I never lettered in softball or any sport for that matter.
I was built for comfort not for speed. And in those days you couldn't letter in music or drama.
I can swing a mighty bat, but I can't throw, field, or run to save my life.
If only they'd given out letters for having a great social life or squeezing out every single second of sleep before the bus came, or laughing until I spit out my Pepsi.
I know you've all been waiting with wicked anticipation so here she is:
MY "NEW" BIKE!
What should I call her?
I feel like Pee-Wee Herman when I ride her.
"I'm a rebel Dottie"
She's got three speeds that are no different from each other, so she's a workout even on the little hills around here. I figure she's about 30+ years old.
The salvage guy threw in the baskets for FREE!
I also bought this lovely 21 speeder with front suspension. She's superior for riding, but without beach handle bars my hands grow numb and painful.
But for $50 for BOTH bikes, how could I turn it down???
Yard-a-palooza. The Universe took me away from my own backyard, but look what she gave me in the meantime . . . . lilacs AND bridal wreath spirea. And marshland to boot!
By suppertime Monday, this area will be a 6' x 13' raised bed garden planted with beets, onions, lettuces, spinach, herbs, carrots, etc. and a dahlia or two just for fun.
How lovely in the sunset.
I just finished mowing that whole yard. My heart rate is way up - what a workout!
I've been busy as a one-armed wallpaper hanger, as a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest, as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs, as a (fill-in-the-blank). April/May is one crazy mofo season.
So I'll just offer up the swill floating through my mind:
1. Every single Spring I am flat-out stunned by the beauty of blooming trees, leaves, daffodils, tulips, lilacs, etc. Especially the lilacs. I don't think I will ever take those visions for granted.
2. Thanks fer nothin T-Paw. Your extreme budget cuts mean our city can't offer cheaper pool passes to low-income families this year. So poor kids not only endure the bitter taste of poverty, now they can't even cool off in a tax-payer funded municipal swimming pool. A pool that their parents' tax dollars helped build, and keep staffed and maintained. Way to go you greedy rich Republican snob. Socialism for the rich, capitalism for the poor. Is there an adult in the state house I can talk to???
3. My new lower-back-pain-hindered exercise routine is to walk at a moderate pace with my belly tightened, my buttocks clenched, and my thigh muscles taut. It looks like a very seriously cranky person taking a leisure walk.
4. The verbal bashing of the MOTHER by the CHILDREN stops right here right now. I am taking no prisoners.
5. I hope every single person who took a bonus from bail-out money steps in a pothole and twists their ankle. Or gets their Jaguar keyed.
6. Mexico should invade Arizona and establish martial law: all gringos in their homes after 9pm and all of them must carry papers at all times.
7. MAN those blooming trees smell good!! And the frogs singing in the backyard marsh are amazing.
8. Ink cartridges from "Cartridge World" are incredibly cheap because there is NO INK IN THEM!
9. Imagine if the teabaggers where black or Latino.
10. Two fun and dirt cheap vacations coming up this summer!! WHOOT!
Anitsupermom has introduced me to a fun new game: DRUNK or a KID? I'll list a few things I've done, and you guess was I drunk or a kid? Disclaimer - before you get any ideas about me being a lush, please know that I haven't gotten drunk since college.
1. Climbed into a large bowl-shaped sculpture and pretended I was cereal.
2. Grabbed an electric fence with both hands.
3. Went skinny-dipping in the closed public pool.
4. Cut a comb out of my hair with pliers.
5. Tore open my Grandma's screen door and ripped the lock out of the frame.
6. Went sneaking through a dark open field only to be scared shitless by a herd of cows.
7. Used an entire roll of scotch tape to make bizarre faces with my sister.
Ever been sliding along on a nice day, your hair's done right, your makeup is on, you're wearing a color you know makes your eyes pop, and to top it all off SANDALS! You're a hot mama and you know it!
Then, you catch a glimpse in a window.
Who is that fat middle aged woman, and why does she have a 20 lb bag of dog food stuffed down the front of her pants? And is that her butt or is she pulling a float?
Oh moan I used to be cute - curvy and sexy and not too bad really. When did I become the fat mom? I've been denying my age and clothing size for a long time now, and let me tell you I can wring the bejeesus out of some good denial! My babies are 16 now, but I'm still 27. All those major league baseball players in their tight pants are OLDER than me, right? Or at most I'd be their slightly older girlfriend, right?
And who ordered up all these moles and chin hairs? And creaky knees? And my EYES are actually fading! They used to be dark green and now they are blue. And they have these wispy floaters hanging around in there when my eyes know full well they are too young for this shit. At least my monovision contacts keep me from the continued horror of reading glasses.
My friend Vicki and I were discussing our lack of athletic ability the other day. We agreed it wasn't actually our LACK of ability as it was the lack of proper venues for athletes like ourselves. Here are sports where I could really make a name for myself:
Unextreme Hiking - I'm a great hiker. But only if I don't have to carry a pack, and there are plenty of benches along the route. And bathrooms. And not too many hills.
Badminton - but don't expect me to make any heroic dives
Softball - but only if I can bat. I'm a slammin' hitter. But please no base running or fielding.
Parading - I'd be wonderful in a parade, walking along waving and soaking in all the attention.
Ping-Pong - see Badminton
Power Napping - seriously don't even THINK about competing with me on this one.
Beach Biking - I like to bike on a nice flat beach. Gearing up or down is just exhausting.
Winter Walking - this covers two areas. Actually walking in the winter time, in proper attire, especially when it ends at a warm coffee shop. And walking around downtown at Northfield's Winter Walk - see last year's post.
We woke to find the above all over town. Yes, that would be actual snow, on October 10th. For you folks who think Minnesota is like this year round, I'm telling you that just ain't the truth. Our falls can be beautiful, and our normal temp for early October is the low 60's. Not the low 40's we're having today.
When cupcake woke up I said, "Hey Honey, look outside!" She did and said "SNOW! Jesus!"
Rounded up my pumpkin crop for a group photo. No, my bench isn't painted white - that's the snow that was supposed to melt soon but isn't. These pumpkins were quite satisfying to grow. If you have about 12-20 square feet of dirt to spare, I highly suggest planting these lovelies.
Here are other interesting happenings this morning: Our new landlord is selling some lovely furniture. My neighbor, Lang, who is Vietnamese and speaks very little English is interested. I'm helping "broker" the sale. I love this neighbor and we discovered that another relative of hers lives right across the street from our new rental.
Dropping off Twin #1 at musical practice and noticing she's become quite attached to a pair of leopard print leggings I used to wear 1989 - 1992. I was quite the fox, let me tell you. Have to admit the extra 3" on her legs make them look a lot better.
I have another cold but I swear my complete obsession with Emergen-C is holding it to a minimum. I mix a packet with a bit of Gatorade or OJ about 3 times a day when I start to feel that sore-throaty feeling. This was not a paid endorsement. Wish it were though.
I have a new job! I am now the Site Specialist at the Northfield Middle School! I will be coordinating all volunteers, mentors, and college student volunteers as well as several events. This is so exciting for me: lots of public interaction and a great position for my education and talents. I'm a rabid supporter of public education, and this truly fits my values. I'll work during the school year, which leaves the summer for some kind of fun job, like barista or umbrella holder for Al Franken.
More good news stories are in the works. Watch this channel for updates!
Johnny C just brought home a pink bathtub from a remodel job, so of course the logical place to put it is IN OUR YARD!!! We are such trailer trash.
My basil crop: sweet, Thai, and lettuce leaf basil.
Canna lilies in a pot
PUMPKINS!
My gardening shed - built by Johnny C - which used to be the coolest play house ever! Now it's the perfect place to keep my tools. I'm going to miss this little house.
Today's harvest: some gladiolus, zinnias, 2 cucs, 8-9 plum tomatoes, sweet basil, purple basil, and Thai basil.
The raised beds Johnny C built and I planted - all made with scrap lumber!
My garden under the influence of the sprinkler. The bed that looks empty just finished all the carrots. Onions are still cooking, and the 2nd and 3rd harvest of beets are popping up.
Johnny C's homemade cuc trellis - made with scrap, old nails, and twine.
Loads of work and end-of-school-year crap. A job interview tomorrow for a full-time position even though I DON'T WANT FULL TIME WORK. Teens who feel completely comfortable telling me, to my face, that I'm a horrible mother and "don't do anything around here". Two catering jobs that paid a nice chunk only to have that chunk disappear when I backed into a car - at the catering job no less. Needing groceries when I have no money. Acne flaring up. Air conditioning in the car malfunctioning. Not to mention the imminent foreclosure and bankruptcy.
I've scheduled my nervous breakdown tomorrow between 8:30am and noon. I should be able to scrape myself off the ceiling and clean up in time for the interview, and perhaps still get in a few loads of laundry. I'm nothing if not efficient.
I had another chance on the radio today!!! I'm hooked - why didn't I find this in college instead of going into Social Work of all things. My blogging pal Sheletta Brundidge, above, got me another spot on The Kevyn Burger Show on 107.1 FM here in the Twin Cities. You can listen to the show at the site. Sheletta is about 115% cuter in person if you can imagine that, and she's so funny she makes my eyes water sometimes.
Above is Kevyn - a totally interesting woman who has been in the broadcast industry for many years, and also a fellow breast cancer survivor. She just had me pop up in the chair, put on the headphones, and away we went! Today we were laughing about 1. people assuming you are your kids' grandmother and 2. people asking when you're due when you aren't pregnant.
I'm such a small town Iowa girl. I'm the the lobby of KSTP studios - a local ABC affiliate - and you'd think I was in Oprah's green room. I'm trying to play it cool but I'm just waiting for some celebrity to walk by so I can tell my friends all about it. "Vineeta Sawkar walked by me and said HI! and I said HI!". Such a dork. I probably would have spit while I said something and they'd have to call security to get the drooling idiot out of the lobby.
Actually we're not going to talk so much as I'm going to blather on about my own beliefs and non-beliefs, and your job is to read or ignore. OK, ground rules set.
I was raised in a pretty cool Methodist church in Iowa. Northern USA Methodists are basically a liberal bunch and not much dogma to be found, expect that you're expected to sing in the choir and get on a committee. And their potlucks are scrumptious. My family's church was a great source of comfort when my folks died. The Methodist church I belonged to here in Northfield is not much different, and is the highest-giving congregation, per head, than any other church in town. All that giving is toward hunger relief and disaster relief. They rallied around me when I had breast cancer and are some of the greatest folks in town.
That being said, I find that organized religion has not found firm footing in my value system. In fact just the opposite. I've always been a huge skeptic belief-wise, but just LOVED singing hymns. My final break with the Methodists came when they discussed ONCE AGAIN whether or not the "gay lifestyle" was in keeping with Christian doctrine. When the big church said no, although all the northern members said yes, that was it for me. It was as though we were discussing whether blacks or women should be honored in our midst.
But beyond that, I truly just don't know exactly WHAT I believe. There's a frig magnet out there that says "People who seek the truth inspire me, people who've FOUND the truth frighten me". Kinda sad when your whole belief system can be summed up on a frig magnet.
I was listening to an atheist writer on NPR this morning. We was preaching the No-God doctrine with as much certainty as an Evangelical. I don't believe any human has reached anything NEAR the capacity to state the "truth". We haven't even grasped the concept of multi-dimensions and the time/space continuum, yet some of our fellow men claim to have found the absolute Alpha and Omega.
In my mind, science and a belief in something "bigger" are not mutually exclusive. I am a firm believer in the cosmos, evolution, and all that science uncovers everyday. To deny any of it is to deny the beauty of what your god may have placed in front of you.
I've also seen and experienced too many things to completely rule out that "something bigger". Some could just say I've had a lot of coincidence in my life, but I'm not so sure. And if Jesus said all those things written down, then that's one guy I can get behind. But I cannot EVER say there is one path to truth.
Guess I could have just said I'm agnostic, and saved you a lot of time.
Endoscopy went fine. No permanent damage. Did you know that with the few tissue samples they take, they can determine if you have food allergies? Amazing.
I enjoyed my little vacation on anesthesia. A bit pathetic that the best break I've had in a long time involved an IV. I was loopy and weaving out to the parking lot. I vaguely remember Hubby steering me around a white van that I walked into. I swear I couldn't help it! I'd make a great junkie.
Slept all day and now I just feel lazy and useless. I'll make up for it tomorrow with plenty of housework and a good supper.
Hey folks, I've started an additional blog. Visit me at The Endurance Diva - Helping you Thrive while you Survive! Here I'm going to preach the gospel of endurance, of setting your claws and hanging on, of having a great life even while busted, broke, or down and out. My many crisis in recent years have provided me great insight and just given me the wherewithal to endure, in other words I'm finally good at something that can benefit mankind.
There I'll post advice, ideas, recipes etc. I'm going to set up an email soon so I can get your ideas to share.
Happy To Be From Iowa isn't going anywhere - I'll still be here blogging about politics, parenting, relatives, and bizarre medical events.
I am yet again having a bizarre, it-could-only-happen-to-me injury. As I've mentioned many times, I have trouble with acid reflux. Usually I can manage it with diet and some OTC drugs. But Monday night, a large volume of stomach acid literally exploded in my throat, causing me to fly from a sound sleep straight for the bathroom. It was AGONY! Like having battery acid poured down your throat. I had my husband take me to the ER because I was sure I was dying. They gave me IV morphine and some acid reducer, and sent me home with more narcotics. Tuesday I'm having an endoscopy to see what exactly the damage is.
Since Monday, I've had a sore throat that is hard to describe. Like having strep throat without the illness. I also have to try to sleep sitting up because the stomach acid comes right up if I lay down. Now I'm stressed from lack of sleep and this damnable sore throat. Ice cream helps but I'm sick of the extreme sweetness.
Am I a cartoon character or what??? Maybe I'm over-stressed from the dirty fingers in my sandwich episode.
I'm starting to think the air freshener we use in the bathroom is worse than the smell we're trying to cover up.
Sometimes my husband's breath smells like an old man, and I don't want to kiss him. My breath, on the other hand, always smells like mint and unicorns.
I'm still absolutely shocked at how old I am.
I completely LOVE taking naps on our couch with my big green blanket.
I hate flossing my teeth and have to force myself every single night.
Each and every year reminds me what an utter dork I am, and I don't know whether to be proud or a tad bit upset.
