Friday, August 31, 2007

Not exactly blue ribbon material

From Kare-11 news channel
"A bull escaped from its handlers at the Minnesota State Fair in Falcon Heights Friday, causing a brief scare as it ran free. The animal was being unloaded near the cattle barn around 9:15 a.m. when it was spooked and broke loose.
Witnesses say the animal ran down Judson Avenue, scaring dozens of people - some say the animal chased them. Somehow through all of that nobody was hurt.

The animal, running with its head down, was turning toward Clough Avenue near the Miracle of Birth Center when it struck a fire hydrant. The bull died instantly.

One witness said it was probably good that the bull died, saying that the animal would likely have hurt someone if it continued running."

I say good thing it died because the whole Miss Congeniality thing was so lost anyway.

Sen. "Wide Stance" Craig and his Incredible Shifting Feet

So an anti-gay, uptight, narrow-minded bigot Republican is caught trying to solicit anonymous gay sex in a public bathroom. Yawn, yawn, yawn. Same old same old.
When will the uber-righteous in our country just admit that they like sex as much as the rest of us, and that some of them are frankly gay. Wouldn't that just be easier than propositioning strangers at the Mpls airport? They'd be so much more comfortable using nicely appointed B&B's, wonderful surfside resorts, or their own homes. And the rest of us could just get on with our lives, gay or straight.

Someday we'll all laugh about this . . . . oh wait, I'm laughing now.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Making my job easier

I'm so glad that food manufacturers are continuing to consider the difficult life of a Mother. How in the world did my mother's generation survive the arsenic hour - that devilish time from 3pm to 5pm when you don't know whether to eat the arsenic yourself or feed it to your kids - without the happy convenience of a pop-top can? Actually I do it stone-cold sober every single day. Maybe that's my problem.

Monday, August 27, 2007

It's time for them to go back to school

I love these little buggers, I'd even take a bullet for them. But it's really time for them to go back to school. Today they came to blows over the remote control.

My husband and I always wanted our house to be the place where the kids gather, where we can keep on eye on things. Now it begs the question "who's stupid idea was this?". Today, for about the 4th day in a row, there were 5 extra kids of various ages here. That means about 4 popsicle wrappers on the garage floor, three missing pair of Mom's scissors, one partially-eaten bowl of microwave popcorn, 5 empty pop cans on the kitchen counter, a plugged toilet, 2 extra pair of dirty flip flops in the mud room, and a worm-hole dug right smack in the middle of the front yard. The amazing part is that none of our own children, nor their friends, had anything to do with any of the above. Must be mice.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Have you seen her??

Thanks to my friend Michael, I'm now a complete fan of Imogen Heap. Her music is intoxicating.

Again, I hate George Bush

Just feeling the need to do a little W slamming today. This man will go down as the worst disaster to ever hit American politics, that is IF he ever goes down. This administration has driven me straight into the tin-foil-hat-wearing crowd. I just KNOW they are tampering with voting machines, martial law, and whatever other evil deed they can do to stay in power. After all, Jeb hasn't had his turn in the Oval Office.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Rain, rain, go away, no really, I mean it!

It's been raining for what feels like weeks. After a summer long drought we are getting 3 months worth of precipitation packed into one week. While it's merely depressing in my area, southern Minnesota is experiencing horrendous flooding. Several people have died and many homes swept away. Donate to the Red Cross, please.

Oh the dripping, the DRIPPING, OH MY GOD THE DRIPPING!!
It's like Chinese water torture.

I'm on a diet and we're all gonna die!!!

Yes I've finally decided it's time to get this gut under control and lose a few pounds. A few meaning I need to lose about 50-60lbs but let's not get carried away. Right now I'm aiming at 20. That's realistic. I can live with that. I just don't want my stomach entering the room before the rest of me anymore. I mean, isn't that what boobs are for? What's the point in having a lovely post-cancer-surgically-altered rack if my expanding waistline gets all the attention?

I also just hate fat woman clothes. They are so 1978. Actually that's considered retro now so let's say they're so 1987.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Guess I'm not that funny . . . or interesting for that matter

I keep waiting for my superb humor and exquisite writing abilities to converge into one fabulous blog. But when I read over past posts I realize I'm just a drab, middle-aged Mom in sore need of a haircut, a pedicure, and, evidently, a personality. But stay with me, it just may get better.

Hitting the Road

I've been car traveling for the last two weeks with kids, cousins, and siblings. Some of the highlights include:

1. Twelve hours at the Mall of America with three moms who hate malls, and 6 very young teens who just LOOOOVVVVEEEE shopping.
2. Looking down into the perfectly clear topaz water of Lake Superior.
3. Touring the refined Glensheen Mansion while my eight year old wants to know about the blood stains, and what does "bludgeoned to death" mean?
4. Nearly having a heart attack walking the stairs down the Split Rock Lighthouse cliff to the beach below. Actually it was walking back up that was iffy.
5. Two of my kids having a knock-down, drag-out fight in public over a hair clip.
6. While staying at the Grand Harbor hotel in Dubuque, Iowa, having the fire alarm go off at 8:30am. Like dutiful midwesterners, we all marched out in various states of dress.
7. Watching strange young girls hand my 13-year-old nephew their phone numbers. Do their parents know they do this???
8. Hauling all our luggage out of my cousin Anne's house only to realize later that we'd forgetten 3 days worth of our dirty laundry.
9. Lunch on Thursday was licorice, beer nut almonds, and beef jerky in the car. I still have heartburn.
10. The Mississippi River Museum in Dubuque - DON'T MISS IT if you have a chance.
11. Visiting my alma mater The University of Iowa. Progress and much money have changed it's face forever.

It's good to be home.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Oh just forget it

Let's try that again

I miss the Hog House

There is crying in baseball

Barry Bonds ought to be ashamed of himself.

Back from our trip Up North. What an absolutely amazing place. I was just blown away - felt like I was in another country, not just 3 hours from home. These giant freighters passing under the lift bridge gave me chills. How these massive boats stay afloat awes me. We visited Park Point beaches and felt like we were on some tropical shore. The Split Rock lighthouse was so worth the drive - the water surrounding Ellingson Island on the beach below was the most incredible jade color. Lake Superior is at an all-time low, which allowed us to walk over a rocky connection to the island. From these rocky cliffs we could look down into perfectly clear depths to see the green boulders lurking below. Ellingson Island itself is a wildlife sanctuary so we didn't venture on to the island.

I have fallen in love with the North Shore.
I'm told it happens to everyone here in Minnesota.
Guess I'm no different.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Did I mention I hate George Bush?

Just to set the record straight, this is a liberal blog. Liberal as in I believe in the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, reproductive rights, gay rights, government as an agent of increased quality of life for all, etc.

I hate George Bush because he represents all that is rotten in government: corruption, greed, blatant self interest, narrow minded bigotry, lock step belief in theocracy, and just plain American ignorance. The man doesn't even READ for heaven's sake! He showed up at our horrific bridge collapse looking oh-so pseudo-concerned - as if his stingy breed of politicians aren't to blame.


Time for another family vacation. Why is it that the work involved is ten times more stressful? Is it worth it? We're off the the great North Shore. Hoping to get in lots of hiking, lake watching, and harbor cruising. The kids are hankering for smoked fish and new sweatshirts.

But for today it's loads of laundry, packing, cooking, packing, vacing the car, packing. We're going in true trailer trash fashion: our 10 year old van with 120,000 miles on it, hail dents, and a busted headlamp expertly repaired with no less than duct tape! We were hit last week by a load of adults that shouldn't reproduce, much less be driving around unsupervised.

To seal the deal we may top off the van with our soft-sided car top carrier. Now all we need is a Wall Drug bumper sticker.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

It's raining, it's pouring . . .

What a glorious sound! It's been raining quite heavily off and on all day today. You can hear our trees, yards, shrubs, ponds, etc sighing with relief. This drought of 2007 has been incredible. The corn is lost, many trees around town are lost, and our parks feel like straw.

Bridge Collapse in Minneapolis

Just when I'm ready to start blogging and share my mundane yet brilliantly insightful comments, tragedy strikes.
I was on that bridge last week with a van full of 13-year-old soccer players. My husband was on it that very day. This is just too close to home.
When will our current stingy short-sighted administrations, both federal and state, realize that real homeland security is common sense things like keeping bridges in good repair? When will short-sighted American voters realize that a no-new-taxes pledge from a candidate really means "I'll endanger your very life with aging infrastructure and overloaded first responders".? Hmmmmm?
Many say it could have been worse, that all four lanes could have been open. However I can't imagine anything worse than losing a loved one to a preventable incident.