Funny

Something funny I saw on the way into work this morning. Know how folks put stickers of their schools in nice collegiate letters across the bottom of their back car window?
This one said "STARFLEET ACADEMY".

The glory of me

A fun list idea from Some Guy, who amazingly didn't mention poop in his list.

1. Clothes: Dress clothes at work, comfy clothes at home. I like pants that don't cut my generous tummy in half.
   
2. Furniture: Lots of stuff from my husband's furnished condo he purchased in 1988. Some things from my parents. Everything was purchased on the cheap. But my hands down favorite is our brick red sectional.
   
3. Sweet: I don't like candy at all, except chocolate. But chocolate gives me heartburn so I try to avoid that too.
   
4. City: I haven't traveled nearly as much as I'd like. I live right next to the Twin Cities and must say they've been marvelous so far. I've been to NYC, Toronto, Denver, Boston, Charleston SC, San Diego, Atlanta, and Chicago. So far, Boston is my favorite - I eat up all that history.
   
5. Drink: Iced tea, unsweetened in the summer, coffee with some kind of creamer most days. I don't drink alcohol much, probably should, but when I do it's white wine or a weak gin and tonic with tons of lime.
   
6. Music: pretty much everything
   
7. TV Series: Loved Cheers - ok that shows you how old I am. Most TV today really stinks in my opinion. Watched The Sopranos on dvd and loved it because my husband could be James Gandolfini's brother. Also loved Six Feet Under and Band of Brothers on dvd. Right now, my little family cuddles on the couch every Sunday night to watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Ty Penning makes me want to throw a hammer at the TV but it's a feel-good show nonetheless.
   
8. Film: I love them all, especially period "chick flick" movies.
   
9. Workout: walking, walking, walking
   
10. Pastries: the cream cheese croissants at our downtown coffee shop.
    
11. Coffee: Yep, but decaf only. I also make a great pot of espresso.

Great jokes that I didn't write

Stolen from here:

Conan O’Brien said: “Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin has many views. She says she’s opposed to same-sex marriage. Did you know that? Yeah, Palin says everyone knows marriage isn’t for gay people; it’s for pregnant teenagers.”

Then Jay Leno weighed in with: “Well, it’s a very strange political campaign. I mean, out on the campaign trail, John McCain and Sarah Palin are talking about how they stood up to the Republican party, they fought the Republican establishment, and they battled Republicans. Their message: vote Republican.”

and then there’s Conan O’Brien again with:

“Sarah Palin has been getting briefed on what she needs to know to be John McCain’s vice president. The first thing they taught her was CPR.”

But the award must go to Jimmy Kimmel for this one:

“There are only 56 days until the election. I saw that they’re selling Sarah Palin action figures. Sad incident at Toys R Us today - a Sarah Palin doll shot My Little Pony.”

And stolen from Lloyd the carpenter in northeast Iowa:

Sarah Palin = right-wing hairball

What the . . . . . ?

Was it just me, or did anyone else's jaw drop to the floor when the band followed Bill Clinton with "Addicted to Love"???

What's with the spitting?

Ok you men - what's with the public spitting? This antisocial practice is really starting to chap my hide. The grossest thing I can imagine is walking on sidewalks and streets covered with male sputum. Didn't your mothers teach you this is a disgusting habit? You don't see women doing this so I personally know the human body can function without the public display of saliva. What's so god-awful in your mouth that you must immediately dislodge it in front of spectators, and not quietly I might add? Stop it already.

Julia Child is Da Bomb!!

Turns out my favorite chef Julia Child was indeed a spy for the OSS during WWII!

I've always admired and enjoyed Julia Child. What a fantastic woman!! During her life, she always claimed that she was merely a secretary for the OSS during WWII. But didn't you just know with all that intelligence and character she had to be MORE??!!

And now our National Archives has released a long list of names of military and civilian operatives. "Other notables identified in the files include John Hemingway, son of author Ernest Hemingway; Quentin and Kermit Roosevelt, sons of President Theodore Roosevelt, and Miles Copeland, father of Stewart Copeland, drummer for the band The Police."

We'll never know her full story - she took that to the grave. Now my respect for her has grown 1000%. Wow, just plain wow.

Cheeseheads Strike Again

MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) -- A 56-year-old Milwaukee man is accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn't start.

Keith Walendowski told police he felt he had a right to shoot his mower. According to the criminal complaint, Walendowski says he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn't start Wednesday morning. He told police: "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want." Walendowski could face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted

I'm tellin ya, some seriously strange people live in Wisconsin. But then again, is it so strange to shoot your lawn mower? I know I've wanted to shoot our computer many times, but I'm afraid my BB gun wouldn't give the satisfying damage I'd be seeking. And why fine and imprison him?? Seems like a bit of overreaction to me.

This story comes courtesy of my talented friend Tom. Tom thinks LawnBoy owes this man a brand-spankin-new lawn mower!

I Support Gay Marriage

Let me go on record, right here, right now. I totally support the rights of our fellow GLBT Americans to fully enjoy all the rights and responsibilities of legal marriage. As a heterosexual woman married to the same wonderful man for over 17 years, let me state that my marriage is not adversely affected in the slightest bit by gay couples. If anything, it upholds the idea of commitment, family, and loads of other "traditional family values". I'm just sick to death of this argument. Against gay marriage? Well enough, get over it already. Put on your big kid panties and deal with it. Go feed some hungry children or sling hash at a homeless shelter. Put your whiny energy to use somewhere.

Seven Random Things

I've been tagged by Beth! I love tags, especially lists. Does that make me weird or just really lazy? I'm to list seven random or weird things about me. Only seven? I could write a book on the subject.

1. I gain weight by merely LOOKING at food.
2. I'm a great singer.
3. I'm afraid of heights
4. I give myself time to read for leisure almost every single day.
5. I have the greatest extended family anyone could ask for.
6. I have such strong lefty political feelings about spirituality, the economy, etc that it's a wonder my neighbors still like me. I often feel like an imposter here in suburbia.
7. I really enjoy watching football and baseball, especially in person, even given #6. College football is my favorite but I wish they wouldn't cut out during the band's performance.
8. I'm a giant nerd.
9. I hate when people try to scare me - I don't find it funny. First it makes me mad, then I cry. Don't ever do it - I'll never forgive you.


Ok, I went for nine - just couldn't stop at seven because I've got a boat-load of quirks. I'm supposed to tag seven people but that's pretty much my entire blog roll, so if you're reading this, you're tagged!

Well, can you blame her?

From Kare 11 news: One of the stars of the old Gilligan's Island has been busted for pot possession. Dawn Wells, who played Mary Ann on the show, is serving six months' unsupervised probation after being caught with marijuana in her car.

Well, can you really blame her? If I had to spend any length of my adult life in the company of Gilligan, The Skipper, and those freaky Howells I'd probably need a little toke now and then too just to help erase the trauma. Loved that show as a kid but what did I know? I didn't have any idea what dreck and drivel was! I listened to the Archies and thought Bobby Sherman was hot. Ginger was my first impression of how a desirable woman was supposed to look and act. Some twisted crap going on there.

Poor Mary Ann, never quite Ginger.

Ewwwwww on so many levels.

Big news - Naked Sushi has come to the Twin Cities. The Temple Restaurant is hosting the event where for $75 a pop you can eat your raw fish and seaweed off nekkid models.

I don't get it. I don't want my sushi anywhere near someone else's uncovered skin and hair except the hands of the chef. This time the Emperor REALLY has no clothes. I'd almost pay money to watch bizarre wealthy people eating that sushi and pretending this isn't the most insane, pretentious, and downright weird thing they've ever done. Guess it's all the rage in Japan. Well, they can keep it. I'll stick with a plate, thank you.

Guess some folks just like the cold

From our local news:
A 22-year-old St. Cloud woman is in custody -- after authorities found her allegedly riding a bicycle around St. Cloud with a shotgun strapped to her back. The woman is a convicted felon and there was also a warrant out for her arrest. She's being held on charges of felon in possession of a firearm and carrying a firearm in a public place. Authorities got a call at about 11:15 last night, saying a person was riding a bicycle near 3rd Street North and 16th Avenue North with a firearm on his or her lap.


Apparently, it's not too cold for a little bike ride. Gives new meaning to drive-by shooting. Maybe it's a new Winter Olympic event and she's just training. I'm surprised the gears work in these temps. St. Cloud is an hour north of me, meaning even colder.