Ever been sliding along on a nice day, your hair's done right, your makeup is on, you're wearing a color you know makes your eyes pop, and to top it all off SANDALS! You're a hot mama and you know it!
Then, you catch a glimpse in a window.
Who is that fat middle aged woman, and why does she have a 20 lb bag of dog food stuffed down the front of her pants? And is that her butt or is she pulling a float?
Oh moan I used to be cute - curvy and sexy and not too bad really. When did I become the fat mom? I've been denying my age and clothing size for a long time now, and let me tell you I can wring the bejeesus out of some good denial! My babies are 16 now, but I'm still 27. All those major league baseball players in their tight pants are OLDER than me, right? Or at most I'd be their slightly older girlfriend, right?
And who ordered up all these moles and chin hairs? And creaky knees? And my EYES are actually fading! They used to be dark green and now they are blue. And they have these wispy floaters hanging around in there when my eyes know full well they are too young for this shit. At least my monovision contacts keep me from the continued horror of reading glasses.
At least I can cook, so I'm of some use.