Sunday, March 21, 2010

I am wise, but it's wisdom born of pain

Have you come to seek the crone's counsel? Let me share the things I've learned . . . . . .

Some microwave popcorn is just destined to burn, No matter what.

Cleaning the kitchen is a thankless, never-ending, mind-numbing task.

Some people just wait for an opportunity to bitch. They live for it. They look for it.

If you live in a small house, don't prepare fresh fish.

Anyone born after 1970 who becomes a smoker is a numbskull.

Teenage daughters will rip out the very heart that loves them fiercely. And yet we still pack them a cold lunch. Only the Great Spirit knows why.

It's true what they say about a man with big hands. He wears big gloves.

Many winters will come and go before Fox News speaks the truth, Beware the Fox.

There is always ketchup in the frig . . . . until you need it.


LoieJ said...

Great wisdom oh wise one, but don't look for catsup in my fridge; it is in the cupboard above the fridge.

How about teenage daughters who turn 22 and only call when they get hurt?

Unknown said...

Such true words, the kitchen, teen girls and Fox news resonate with me the most.
Ahhh I am wishing all girls for my daughters, not more than 2 years apart and may they all have major PMS!!!

Life As I Know It Now said...

Big gloves, heh. :)

SkylersDad said...

You could not be more wise, especially about the smoking.

And I assume you mean a glove for the love, no?

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I'd toss those ungrateful teens out. That's just me though.

Churlita said...

My mom died at 43 of a smoking related stroke. I completely agree with you. Especially after working at an ob/gyn clinic where most women's cancers are also smoking related.

The teen thing is also pure genius...Except I don't make my daughters' lunches.

MommyLisa said...

OMG...ketchup made me laugh!

Sheleta said...

And husbands who declare "Honey, I've washed the clothes for you." should say what they really mean "Honey, I've put the clothes in the washing machine and they're still in there and will be in here until you put them in the dryer and fold them up."