Monday, April 28, 2014

REAL Wedding Vows

After nearly 24 years of marriage, I've learned a lot.  
I've learned this is what people should be promising at their weddings . . 

I promise first of all to fully commit to this new family we are creating.  I promise to keep my vows and to view this promise as sacred.  I promise to look past all this fluff, flowers, and window dressing to realize I am promising that the rest of life will occur at your side.

I promise to watch out for the little problems, for they are what can wear us down.  I vow to watch for the magic of making you laugh.  I will marvel at the fact that you come home to me every night.  And when I find myself wallowing in the bills, the weather, the home repair, the groceries, I will take you into my arms and be thrilled that you are alive, and here to share this life.

I promise to realize that sadness, loneliness, anger, frustration and disillusion are a completely normal part of any adult life, and to not immediately assume it means our marriage is wrong.  I promise to look at my own behavior and attitudes for change, and not to blame all my negative feelings on you.  I also promise to remember that life changes frequently, and that our marriage can survive any storm if we decide it will.

I promise that our marriage will always be a priority - above my hobbies, my job, the car, and the house.  It will be more important than any material thing we own.  I will remember that keeping our marriage alive is the best gift we could give to any kids.

I promise to balance that priority with outside interests, because I also promise to HAVE outside interests.  I will keep my friendships strong and will work to cultivate my own world apart from you.  Because I will not expect you to fill my every need for companionship and entertainment.

I promise to defend you against my family, your family, or even our own kids.  I will tell the world that if you mess with one of us, you mess with both of us.  And when I can't defend you, I promise to let you know and why.  And together we will work it out.

I promise that when I'm ready to walk away, or have an affair, I will use that signal to enter counseling and take it seriously.  I will give our marriage every effort in world.  I promise to never destroy your dignity with infidelity.

As we age, I promise to watch our decline with loving eyes.  To remember that every winkle, every pound, every gray hair, is a symbol of our lives lived in the sun, raising children, laughing, smiling, and loving.

I promise to remember, day in-day out, all my life, that you have agreed to be my partner.  That you have put aside your freedom to stand at my side.  That you have chosen me.


brewella deville said...

There you go, being all adult and stuff. Vows like that would probably cut about 70% of the deadwood in most marriages, though.

SkylersDad said...

Those are beautiful and realistic.

Johnny Yen said...

That was wonderful.

One of the things I've learned in marriage is to make sure you keep your friends and outside interests-- they are the roots of the tree that is your life. To expect a mate, as you said, to keep you endlessly fulfilled and entertained is to court disaster