Sunday, November 18, 2007

Lists of Passion and Hate (for Kirelimel)

Ten things other people do that make we want to slap them silly . . . . .

1. Gum smacking
2. Opening their cell phones to text during a movie. Just get up and LEAVE you clueless dink. I'm trying to enjoy a movie here!!
3. Bringing cranky or talkative babies to concerts. Yes, your baby is just the sun, the moon, and the stars isn't he? But my babies are up on stage performing and YOUR baby is an annoying distraction. Get a sitter.
4. Wearing noxious amounts of perfume
5. Parking a grocery cart right smack in the middle of the aisle while scanning the pickle selection. Yes I know it's tough intellectual work to choose between the spears and the slices, but could you just move yourself to one side or the other so I can get by?
6. Speaking of parking, people who can't grasp that the parallel parking space alloted for their car exists BETWEEN the white lines. The white lines are not a suggestion. You just throw the whole scheme off if you don't get this. Moron.
7. People who say "hopefully" at the beginning of sentences.
8. People who use leaf blowers - get a broom.
9. Thinking that being cold gives you a cold
10. Folks who use boxed cookie mixes - honestly, how lazy can you get??

I've become my mother

You're it - Michael G, Kirelimel, Melinda June, Ben Bob


michaelg said...

We only get 10? Hopefully, I can keep the list short. ;o)

Scott J. said...

I often wish I had a bag of "I have a small penis" bumper stickers, for an occasion such as that pic.

As Mark Twain said, "I love Mankind - the people I can do without."