Monday, April 9, 2012

You'll eat them all, with ketchup

To all you new or young parents out there . . . .
A friend and I were laughing ourselves silly over all the things we said we'd NEVER do, or would ALWAYS do before we had kids.  Well before.  Well, Well, before.  Before we ate every single word, deep fried, with ketchup.  And you people will eat them too.

1. I'll never use the TV as an electronic babysitter
2. I'll never let the family car get THAT dirty
3. I'll never yell "SHUT UP" at my kids
4. I'll always tell them the absolute truth
5. I'll never feed them crap like Kraft Mac and Cheese
6. I'll never let them sleep in our bed
7. I'll never go nuts over home improvement in the months leading up to their graduation party
8. I'll never let my teen daughter wear a thong
9. I can't ever see myself hiding in the bathroom from my kids
10. I would never spend useless time on the computer, then tell them it's "work"
11. I will never let them go out in public wearing superman pajamas and cowboy boots
12. I won't let them snack between meals
13. No Happy Meals
14. I will NEVER let my teens talk to me like that!!
15. Public tantrums?  MY kids will KNOW that won't fly with me.
16. When they are out of control, I will just reason with them
17. We'll have such an open relationship, they'll tell me everything
18. My kids will NEVER lie to me
19. I will NOT let my daughters get into Disney Princess things - those things are so sexist.
20. My sons will not have toy guns


Anonymous said...

Oh...! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Did you know that you could fit in two glasses of wine in the time it takes to watch one episode of Sponge Bob? Wait, what am I saying, of course you do.

Treats said...

"I will never look forward to the day when the little darlings will be out of my hair and my home."

"I will never give my kids a Benadryl because my hubby is out of town and I'm exhausted and need to go to bed."

"I will always be the cool mom who never embarrasses their children. Everyone will want to hang out in the kitchen with me and chat."

Jeni said...

You should compile all these and many others too into a book of "Things I Never Thought I'd Say -or Do" and get it published. Sure to be a best seller as you are so right that ALL parents have said or done these things -often repeatedly too!

Churlita said...

Or this: "I will think carefully, before I tell my kid 'no'. So, if they contest it, I can tell them why I said no and not cave when they keep asking." Ha ha ha ha.

Life As I Know It Now said...

I will never say "because I told you so". Yeah, right... :)

Mauigirl said...

So true. I had a boss who used to say things like that all the time, criticizing other parents' parenting. He was about 40 when he had his own kid - and it all went out the window!

Mauigirl said...

He even stopped being a vegetarian!