Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Take a memo

Dear Teabaggers,
You are being sorely used by the wealthy.  Read the book "The Best of Enemies" by Osha Gray Davidson.  Find out who your real enemies are.

Dear State of Minnesota Legislature,
Get your act together and start funding public education.  Get your minds off a Vikings Stadium until your constituents have jobs and your schools are humming along.

Dear Cub Foods,
If ALDI can sell produce at amazingly low prices, why can't you?  It's not like you have the added expense of baggers or a drive up.  What gives?

Dear Current Employer
Thanks so much for the healthcare, dental care, low lunch prices, good food, free coffee, and full access to the office supply catalog.  After 3 years at a public school with a budget crisis, you have no idea how much I appreciate this.

Dear University of Iowa,
Please cough up all the money you can so my twins will go there.

Dear Coca-cola on ice,
Why do you have to be so darned delicious?  WHY?!

Dear Winter,
Please try to show a bit more restraint this year.  Snow is lovely but not 2-3 feet at a time.  And anything below zero is just showing off.

Dear Neighbors,
While I enjoy music as much as the next person, I don't want to hear YOUR selections blasting from your garage every weekend.

Dear Aging Process,
I really don't need the likes of you around here.  You're nothing but a pest and a horrible inconvenience.  You run up my medical bills and make me look horrid in photos.  Be gone.

Dear Shin Splints,
You and your partner Aging Process are really getting on my nerves.  I'm trying to run a successful life here and you are foiling my plans.  Go bother someone else.

Dear Goodreads.com
Thanks for finally giving me a great place to keep my list of "to-reads".  And not only that, but letting see what's on everyone else's list.  You rock!

Dear Halloween,
I love ya, you big ham!!


Dr. MVM said...

I can stop you from aging, but you won't like it.

SkylersDad said...

oh that I had the power to grant you your wishes...

Cathy said...

I agree with all of this. Except the stadium thing. If the Vikings leave MN lots of people will lose their jobs and businesses will suffer. MN needs to do what they can to keep the franchise here.

Winter needs to calm down. Temps above zero are good!

Anonymous said...

Of course, it's a universal law that the worse a person's taste in music, the louder and farther they have to broadcast it.

Shannon said...

I love this post b/c I feel like crap these days and it's nice to know I'm not alone. Sorry?

Churlita said...

Yeah. There are some really good things about aging, but the parts where it makes me look and feel like crap have got to go.