Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Jobs I want to have

1. I want to be the actor in the infomercials that makes common household chores look like a week in a Turkish prison. I want to look all exasperated and blow my bangs off my forehead because these DISHES are just TOO HARD TO WASH BY HAND and therefore I MUST BUY the new DishieWashieGenieWizard! Then I will be immediately whisked off to a wonderland where my kitchen is clean, I have granite countertops, and my acne is gone.

2. I want to be the CEO of a major bank or corporation, run it straight into the ground in a blaze of destructive fire, then walk away with millions in bonus money.

3. I want to be paid by the government to NOT farm land.

Yep, that's what I want.

9 comments:

Missy said...

Get in line, honey!

Dr Zibbs said...

I hear ya'

Sheleta said...

I want to be like my aunt Mary Joe. She slipped and fell on her job back in January of 2007 and now she gets a check every month for the rest of her life NOT to work. Ain't that some $hit? While the rest of us hobble around with broken bones and bruised ribs punching a damn time block!

Joe said...

Hey, I'm working on #3...it sounds like a pretty good deal, and good for the environment depending on which program you get into.

Sadly, I think #2 is out of both our reaches.

Anonymous said...

Dang. Me, too!

themom said...

Just read your blogs from past, and we agree on everything. In other words we seem to agree that some political party has taken us down the garden path, while they raped our financial markets. God, give me a Golden Parachute please!

I shall return to your site - I like!

Christopher Tassava said...

Great list. Not to typecast you, but I think you were born for #1.

My additions:

4. A professional athlete, but on the second (or third) string. All the fitness, most of the money, none of the pressure.

5. Heiress. Or heir, if it comes to that.

6. Pizza tester.

7. Lottery winner.

kim said...

I'd actually like to be the wife of one of those banker dudes....all the money, with less work, and then I don't have to deal with him when he is in prison.

Mnmom said...

Bravo Kim!!!