This year I saw absolutely NONE of the movies nominated, and frankly NONE of the movies containing actors and actresses nominated. But like every year past, I watch to see the gowns and the hairdos. It's late winter here, I'm pasty as bread dough, and needed to know that beauty, or something similar, can still be purchased by the rich and famous. What better way to make myself feel better than to mock spray-on tans, bad hair, expensively ugly dresses, and inflated celebrity egos?
Oh Tilda, I'm sure plenty of folks like your lean mean look. But would just a little mascara or lipstick just kill the whole thing? Guess makeup for your part in the Narnia movie must have been a cinch. Love the Hefty dress too - my mom made me a bat costume for Halloween out of the same material. Sorry you lost the other arm to it - maybe it fell off in the limo. Hot glue only lasts so long you know.
Guess lots of ladies got the "Red or Black" dress memo. I didn't realize the theme this year was playing cards.
This is one woman in serious need of a double cheeseburger.
Poor Penelope Cruz, forced to wear a black toilet brush.
Miley Cyrus - nothing says paternal love like pimping out your 15-year-old. Did you notice her pouty-lip look? SHE'S 15 FOLKS!!!!!
Was anyone else irritated that George Clooney's girlfriend looks like a high school senior? What do they talk about? His hair? She wasn't even born when he was on Roseanne playing Booker. Ew. Wonder if they skipped the after-parties because of her curfew? Does she make him wear Polo?
This woman is proof that I'm totally uninformed about pop culture. Who is she?
Cate Blanchett is adorable, but those clips of her playing Bob Dylan made me feel embarrassed, like when your best friend thinks she does a seriously good impression of Celine Dion and you can't stand to set her straight but you also can't stand to listen one more second.
Miss Diaz - yes you are wonderfully pretty in an odd over-tanned way and you have way more money than most of us will ever see, and you don't need to do one thing to impress me. But couldn't you have done SOMETHING with your hair? I mean, a ponytail? That's all you can muster for the Oscars? I've seen better hairdos at the grocery store.