Men are pigs.
I learned another shocking atrocity about the male gender today over at Coaster Punchman's Five Things I Hate. I learned that men moan and groan and make actual statements while they poo in public bathroom stalls!!
Men, this does NOT happen in the ladies room!
Women need everyone to think that only strawberry ice cream comes out of our bodies. Women will hold back a virtual tsumani of excrement if anyone else is in the restroom. We will sit with clenched cheeks while veins pop out of our foreheads waiting for the other bathroom user to flush. THEN we will expel as much as possible while the flushing is at it's peak. After the flushing has subsided, we will clench again until that horrible other woman turns on the hand dryer. Once she leaves, we are home free. Unless another rude patron enters, then the whole circus starts again.
We also stay locked away, anonymously, in the stall until the other women have left. This leaves the mystery of the actual poo bomber intact, because no woman wants to be identified as the thunder cheeks who must have had an extra large bean burrito for lunch. We will NOT exit the stall until the restroom is clear, thereby leaving our ego intact. Even if you KNOW who's in there, you let the mystery continue. "Poo? No, no, no one poos in here!" Actually we don't even talk about it. We just hold our heads high.
Men are pigs