Wednesday, March 25, 2009

An open letter to annoying people


Dear Annoying People,

You certainly were a busy bunch today! Did someone raise your quota? Or did you just see me coming and get your freak RIGHT on?

To the woman who made my iced mocha. I should be able to actually TASTE the coffee and the chocolate in there. It should not taste like sweetened skim milk over ice. And to the woman who rang it up, it's considered unseemly to pick your nose in public.

To the orthopedic patients sitting next to me in the coffee house. I don't often get a chance to sit silently in a coffee shop with my book for an hour of solitary reading with a good cup of joe. As you can see above, the cup of joe part was totally destroyed by one of your cousins. Then you two launched into a detailed discussion of your recent surgeries, complete with scar descriptions and leaving no nauseating detail left to the imagination. But somehow you failed to notice the people around you trying to eat lunch.

To Caribou Coffee, where I moved hoping for a better cup of coffee and some quiet. Would it kill you to have some attractive and tasty baked goods on hand? Every time I'm there it's that same crusty oat bran muffin. And why would you block open the back door on a dreary wet 40 degree day? It felt like a meat locker in there.

And to the young couple at last night's school orchestra concert. Letting your toddlers stamp around and play loudly during the performance was distracting and just plain rude. Get a sitter!

Lucky for you people, some really great folks crossed my path lately too. Otherwise I would have gone all postal and stabbed you with my car keys. But I'm a pacifist and refrained, allowing you to live on and annoy again another day. And I'm sure you won't disappoint.

With much annoyance,
Mnmom

13 comments:

Anita said...

Your open letter made me laugh out loud! I've been in that same spot, why do I know how to make a white chocolate mocha extra hot and no one else can seem to figure out that extra hot means it won't cool down in 1 minute...ugh. And because I clearly love a good baked good......it annoys me when bran is the most in stock choice, please!
Glad your keys were not used as weapon....whew!

Churlita said...

It's always sad when there aren't decent baked goods at a coffee shop. I worked at a coffee/ice cream shop in Iowa City for 9 years, and I always tried to make sure there was good stuff to eat. For one thing, the shop makes way more money.

kirby said...

I have a person to add to your list, the woman behind me the other night in the awesome gourmet burger joint (that's all they serve) who doesn't want to eat a burger because she's concerned about e-coli.

Lisa said...

You cracked me up, too. I'm glad you refrained from stabbing with keys. Too messy. I know you're clever. You can come up with something equally lethal and less likely to be tied back to you.

themom said...

OMG I am so not the pacifist - at times. Some of those annoying events would have had me "over the edge." You handled yourself marvelously well - kudos to Mnmom!!

Missy said...

"You certainly were a busy bunch today!"

LOL. Oh honey, I am so sorry.

I do not understand why Caibou has to fail in the pastry department. Starbuck does all right, but not perfect.

Sheleta said...

i think i just peed on myself. i could see, in my head, the toddlers at the recital. and don't even talk to me about the lack of food at the coffee house. could it kill them to have one cup-cake on hand?

Christopher Tassava said...

Hear, hear! I think I ran into some of the cousins the other day, too.

Shan said...

OMG, hilarious. Watery no-taste coffee drinks are one my biggest pet peeves. If I pay $3+ for a coffee drink, it better be MADE CORRECTLY. You know?

themom said...

I hope you are over the annoying people by now...because I tagged you with a meme. You know ya love me....enjoy:)

Coaster Punchman said...

"And to the young couple at last night's school orchestra concert. Letting your toddlers stamp around and play loudly during the performance was distracting and just plain rude. Get a sitter!"

There is almost nothing that makes me madder in life that things like that.

I chuckled at your story of finally getting a moment of luxury and then having it ruined by general lameness. It's such the human condition.

Julie said...

An open letter to annoying people
___________________
Julie
Lock in your price today for Your favorite

channels - and keep it there until 2010!

Julie said...

An open letter to annoying people
___________________
Julie
Lock in your price today for Your favorite

channels - and keep it there until 2010!