Wednesday, March 25, 2009
An open letter to annoying people
Dear Annoying People,
You certainly were a busy bunch today! Did someone raise your quota? Or did you just see me coming and get your freak RIGHT on?
To the woman who made my iced mocha. I should be able to actually TASTE the coffee and the chocolate in there. It should not taste like sweetened skim milk over ice. And to the woman who rang it up, it's considered unseemly to pick your nose in public.
To the orthopedic patients sitting next to me in the coffee house. I don't often get a chance to sit silently in a coffee shop with my book for an hour of solitary reading with a good cup of joe. As you can see above, the cup of joe part was totally destroyed by one of your cousins. Then you two launched into a detailed discussion of your recent surgeries, complete with scar descriptions and leaving no nauseating detail left to the imagination. But somehow you failed to notice the people around you trying to eat lunch.
To Caribou Coffee, where I moved hoping for a better cup of coffee and some quiet. Would it kill you to have some attractive and tasty baked goods on hand? Every time I'm there it's that same crusty oat bran muffin. And why would you block open the back door on a dreary wet 40 degree day? It felt like a meat locker in there.
And to the young couple at last night's school orchestra concert. Letting your toddlers stamp around and play loudly during the performance was distracting and just plain rude. Get a sitter!
Lucky for you people, some really great folks crossed my path lately too. Otherwise I would have gone all postal and stabbed you with my car keys. But I'm a pacifist and refrained, allowing you to live on and annoy again another day. And I'm sure you won't disappoint.
With much annoyance,