Sunday, January 2, 2011

I need no resolutions

I'm not good at resolutions for myself, but I'm very good at them for other people.  So following the tradition I established last year, here are my 2011 resolutions for others:

For Tim Pawlenty - I will just slink away into obscurity and never expose any constituency to my incompetence again.

For John Boehner - I will step away from the spray tan.

For Elected Democrats - I will read Paul Wellstone's "Conscience of a Liberal" and remember what real populist values are, then act accordingly.

For GOP Leaders - I will spend 6 months living on minimum wage so I can get "in-touch" with real America, since I like to use that phrase so often.

For the homophobes - we will recognize that the gays are over us, and we should return the favor.

For Fate - I will quit slapping around Mnmom and her family, give them their livelihood back, and restore Mnmom's ability to cook in a decent-sized kitchen and time to get some reading done.  Large lottery winnings should do it.

For Target Corporation - I will recognize that customers are really pissed off and spending their money elsewhere.  I will apologize for all political donations and fire that cretin CEO.  I will accept my role as the corporate sacrificial lamb on this issue.


For people who actually watch reality TV - I will quit supporting a media phenomena that has dumbed us down as a nation quicker than any Sarah Palin speech.

For FOX - you really don't have to say it . . . . . . we know.

5 comments:

Liberality said...

First off, I couldn't agree more with this post. I especially wish that you will do better financially this year.

Ps. I like your choice of wallpaper. :)

BeckEye said...

I would like to say I'll kick the reality TV sauce for good, but I doubt that will happen. But hey, I pretty much only watch the "good" reality shows, like Project Runway and Top Chef. No random-teen-slut show of the month for me.

Churlita said...

Very well said. I hope for you (and me) that we get on better financial footing. I guess that means I'll have to start playing the lotto....

SkylersDad said...

Best wished to you mnmom for a much better 2011!

Anti-Supermom said...

MNMom, you always make me smile with your sauciness ;)