Saturday, April 3, 2010

A conflicted Easter post

I told you here about my spiritual leanings and really warm Christian upbringing. Now my motto is "I'm a militant agnostic - I don't know and you don't either". I certainly don't believe in some supreme being watching our movements and answering prayers. I don't believe in a virgin birth or healing the dead. But I may believe in a collective human consciousness that works for the common welfare. I may believe there was a powerful bodhisattva named Yeshua from Nazareth. I most definitely believe in doing good, seeking peace, and honoring the natural world.

I no longer belong to any organized religion and I don't regret that choice. The Bible, the Koran, the Talmud, etc and all that hocus-pocus, greed, and power grabbing going on inside religions is the root of most of our world's problems.

However sometimes I miss belonging to a really cool liberal Christian congregation. My biggest sacrifice was the choral music. Christianity has produced a lot of hate, but somehow it has also produced some of the best choral music ever. Who can argue with Mozart's "Requiem"? And who doesn't like a good potluck?

As a teen, I sang in our church's choir with my Mom, under the direction of the fabulous Mrs. Martha Ash. A privilege I didn't fully appreciate at the time. Every year we would sing "The Seven Last Words of Christ" by DuBois. The 5th word "I am a-thirst" is performed below. This emotional piece portrayed the angry mob hurling verbal insults at Jesus. It was so powerful.

"Thou wouldst feign destroy the temple! If thou beest Jesus! Son of the Father! Now from the cross descend thou!!! Vah - Save thyself then!!"

I miss those experiences.


Some Guy said...

I must've missed your "spiritual leanings" post. The experience you describe is very similar to mine. I have fond memories of growing up in the church and the people, but I never really bought what they were teaching me.

Enjoy your Sunday, MNMom!

Liberality said...

I loved singing in church when I was growing up. It's the only think I miss I think. Nice post.

kirelimel said...

Well, my views are conflicted as well but I still identify as Christian but not organized. Youngest Offspring said it best on Saturday when she told her friend's Mom that our family watches "Jesus Christ Superstar" for Easter.

Churlita said...

I feel the same way. I used to work with a woman who said she was an atheist but loved religious music. There is so much passion in it.

Sheleta said...

Girl that church choir is not even just about the beautiful music; but the wonderful relationships you develop. The choir director who loves you even though you're tone deaf. Fellow church members who attend rehearsals. And Lord knows the pot lucks are the BOMB! I've always envied the choir folks. It's a bond that can never be broken. Whether you stay gone or one day come back to the church, those choral tunes and those relationships will stay with you forever.