Monday, May 11, 2009
Post Mother's Day Post
I've read a couple of posts lately about mothers feeling a sense of failure. I don't see failing mothers in them: I see very real human beings trying to deal with one of life's toughest jobs. Anyone who has been a parent, are even spent any significant time around babies, toddlers, kids, or teens will know what I'm talking about.
Here are the ways I "fail"
1. Holing up in the bathroom a little longer than necessary, just for the personal space and quiet.
2. Often giving them frozen pizza or milk toast instead of a "real" supper.
3. Throwing away some of those activity opportunities the school sends home before they even see them because I just don't want to pay for, volunteer for, nor arrange another activity.
4. Napping right on the couch, in full view of my offspring, and snoring to boot.
5. Spring of 1998 my twins were feverish but otherwise OK. After 4 days of this, plus a strange rash, I finally took them to the Dr. only to find they had Scarlet Fever.
6. About 6 years ago Twin #1 stepped on a small rock in the driveway. She complained for a week and I told her to suck it up. I finally took her in to find she had broken her foot. A small break, but spent the next 2 weeks in an immoblizer.
7. Actually talking to their teenage friends, and asking how they are doing. The NERVE!
8. When they were little, I often considered a good swim in the chlorinated city pool just as good as a bath. Or at the end of a long summer night, I would just wash their dirty face and feet and send them to bed.
9. Telling them I'm working on the computer when I'm really blogging or reading facebook.
10. Letting my youngest watch some slightly unsavory shows because I'm too tired and lazy to fight her.
11. Using the TV as a baby sitter.
12. Once on a long car ride, I gave the twins Benadryl for the sole purpose of making them drowsy.
13. When they are complaining about why I let their sister get away with (fill-in-the-blank) I often retort with "well, that's because I love her more."
14. I don't do crafts. I don't scrapbook. I don't allow glitter in my house. Art yes. Lots of art. And homemade play doh by the bucket. But no crafts.
15. As little ones, I let them wear the most god-awful outfits you could imagine. I prefer to choose my battles.
16. When they were little I would sometimes tell them the park, the library, etc was "closed" so we wouldn't have to go.
17. My own mother "failed" too - she used to tell us tornadoes never come after 9 p.m. so we would shut up and go to bed.
18. I make them do chores.
19. I make them do things they are perfectly capable of doing themselves.
20. If they don't listen to me and forget to bring some essential piece of equipment to the ball game, school, or what-have-you I make them suffer without it.
21. I refuse to play pack mule. If they insisted on bringing it, they can carry it.
22. I love them enough to say NO, often, and mean it.
Yep, I'm a failure as a mother.