Monday, May 11, 2009

Post Mother's Day Post

I've read a couple of posts lately about mothers feeling a sense of failure. I don't see failing mothers in them: I see very real human beings trying to deal with one of life's toughest jobs. Anyone who has been a parent, are even spent any significant time around babies, toddlers, kids, or teens will know what I'm talking about.

Here are the ways I "fail"

1. Holing up in the bathroom a little longer than necessary, just for the personal space and quiet.

2. Often giving them frozen pizza or milk toast instead of a "real" supper.

3. Throwing away some of those activity opportunities the school sends home before they even see them because I just don't want to pay for, volunteer for, nor arrange another activity.

4. Napping right on the couch, in full view of my offspring, and snoring to boot.

5. Spring of 1998 my twins were feverish but otherwise OK. After 4 days of this, plus a strange rash, I finally took them to the Dr. only to find they had Scarlet Fever.

6. About 6 years ago Twin #1 stepped on a small rock in the driveway. She complained for a week and I told her to suck it up. I finally took her in to find she had broken her foot. A small break, but spent the next 2 weeks in an immoblizer.

7. Actually talking to their teenage friends, and asking how they are doing. The NERVE!

8. When they were little, I often considered a good swim in the chlorinated city pool just as good as a bath. Or at the end of a long summer night, I would just wash their dirty face and feet and send them to bed.

9. Telling them I'm working on the computer when I'm really blogging or reading facebook.

10. Letting my youngest watch some slightly unsavory shows because I'm too tired and lazy to fight her.

11. Using the TV as a baby sitter.

12. Once on a long car ride, I gave the twins Benadryl for the sole purpose of making them drowsy.

13. When they are complaining about why I let their sister get away with (fill-in-the-blank) I often retort with "well, that's because I love her more."

14. I don't do crafts. I don't scrapbook. I don't allow glitter in my house. Art yes. Lots of art. And homemade play doh by the bucket. But no crafts.

15. As little ones, I let them wear the most god-awful outfits you could imagine. I prefer to choose my battles.

16. When they were little I would sometimes tell them the park, the library, etc was "closed" so we wouldn't have to go.

17. My own mother "failed" too - she used to tell us tornadoes never come after 9 p.m. so we would shut up and go to bed.

18. I make them do chores.

19. I make them do things they are perfectly capable of doing themselves.

20. If they don't listen to me and forget to bring some essential piece of equipment to the ball game, school, or what-have-you I make them suffer without it.

21. I refuse to play pack mule. If they insisted on bringing it, they can carry it.

22. I love them enough to say NO, often, and mean it.

Yep, I'm a failure as a mother.


Beth said...

Wonderful post and brings us all down a notch or two... I do pretty much all of them too... or should say I did...Lydia gets away with murder...but what the is picking my battles! lol

Happy Mom's Day ---a day late!

Anita said...

Great post, we are all very human!
2. What is milk toast?
10. Nick has seen more PG 13 movies than I care to imagine......I give up.
14. I have scrapbooked, though I'm not really creative, I'm not crafty, and I think glitter should be banned........I hated preschool crafts!
My kids do chores, if they don't take it, they live without it, and I am happy to be the only mom who thinks (name the argument of the moment) is wrong and I'm not giving an inch on it!!
I fail with you!

Little Sister said...

Milk toast?? I think of that as a treat! For Anita...make cinnamon toast-lots of butter and sugar/cinnamon. Place in a low wide bowl (our mom always put it in a Blue Willow patterned serving bowl) then pour warm milk in until it just breeches the edges of the toast.

You are a terrific mom and I love you!

Shan said...

OMG I LOVE this post! Thank you!

Shan said...

P.S. "I have some work to do on the computer" is my catch-all phrase for ANYTHING I might be doing on the computer. And, since I'm a struggling writer, I consider blogging to be my "work." Yes, yes I do.

Churlita said...

Awesome. I don't pretend to be super mom either. I'm not a joiner, so you won't see me on the PTA anytime soon. I've always been so poor, that doing all those activities when they were younger were never a possibility anyway, so yes, I've thrown away more than my share of those sheets.

When my daughter was in jr high, she told me she should be allowed to watch R rated movies because it wasn't anything worse than she saw and heard at school every day and I couldn't argue that logic.

And TV as a babysitter if it keeps you from finally, totally losing it? Hell yeah!

Lisa said...

I think you're a great mom.

Which is like patting myself on the back because it would be easier for me to tell you which of these items I don't do, too.

themom said...

I can relate to most everything you have listed. That doesn't make us failures - just human I believe. And MILK TOAST...omg, I haven't had that in eons. I remember once trying to explain that food staple to my kids and their reaction was...EWWWWW!!! So much for taste.

Anonymous said...

Good for you for refusing to be a pack mule. Most all of my mom friends are an hour late getting out of the house because they're busy loading up their kids' crap.

Anonymous said...

I see very real human beings trying to deal with one of life's toughest jobs.
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