Thursday, May 21, 2009

How much dirt can you men stand anyway?


It's all my fault really.

When I went back to work, I informed the family that I can't possibly do all the housework AND have an outside job. The kids are supposed to empty the dishwasher and do one load of laundry each day. What that translates to is Mom gets to nag, nag, nag, and nag some more about the full dishwasher and the piles of dirty laundry. Then the kids get to accuse Mom of being a psycho. Then Mom gets to say "if it's not done in one hour you are GROUNDED!". Then the kids call Dad on the phone to complain that Mom is in a grumpy MOOD again, and when is he coming home? And in the meantime, Mom gets to fume in the kitchen preparing supper while working around the dirty dishes.

But this one I stepped into with both feet. We agreed that hubby would be in charge of our bathroom. Big mistake.

Like Dave Barry says, "women can see individual molecules of dirt but men can't see it until there is enough to sustain commercial agriculture". So sadly true. Why can't you men see the piles of your back hair on the floor? It actually drifts in the wind when I open the door. And why is YOUR side of the mirror coated with hard water droplet stains? Do you rinse your face with a garden hose?

And that orange stuff in the tile grout? Yeah, that would be MILDEW! You are supposed to spray it with the toxic chemicals I have left on the side of the tub for that very purpose. And the toilet bowl should be cleaned BEFORE the dirt line becomes a permanent stain. Especially when the hard water in our area is so full of iron and calcium it could eat through porcelain.

Now, my husband is a great guy. He can build a house from the ground up with his bare hands. He can rock babies to sleep. He can manage all the bills. He can lift heavy objects. But this one chore is just out of his league. I'm afraid I'll have to take it back and give him another.

12 comments:

Shannon said...

Agreed. Men do not see bathroom dirt. It is a mystery.

Cheesecake Maven said...

He just won this round. :)

Anonymous said...

A month ago I gave the bathroom job to the boys. I figured if they were going to piss all over the toilet it was up to them to clean it up. The result? Back hair bunnies rolling around the floor and mold growing up and over the sink stopper. So I took back the bathroom and now they have to do laundry instead.

Johnny Yen said...

My mother had three healthy boys and worked full time. She did not one bit of housework once we were able to pick up a broom and reach the sink.

In between marriages, I took in a roommate so that I could afford to keep the apartment my son grew up in (the one I'm in now). I had an experiment to see how dirty the bathroom would have to get before he'd clean it. I finally gave up when it appeared you could grow crops in the bathtub.

Unknown said...

I swear teen girls are just as bad as a man when it comes to the bathroom cleaning. My husband is rather blind to the stuff in the bathroom, so I take that job. The girls bathroom I grumble and bitch about and then it gets cleaned, it literally grosses me out how bad they will let it get.................argh!

Missy said...

Sad to say...I halfway followed Todd's cleaning plan. Your husband can report on the chaos and grime!

themom said...

Men definitely view housework different than women. Mine liked to bitch about all that needed done, like he brought his foreman job home with him. It didn't matter that I worked TWO jobs to his one, had the household chores, plus all the kids activities. I don't know where my head was or how I dared to challenge the ass!

Little Sister said...

sis-RECLAIM YOUR SPA! NOthing relieves stress more than soak in a deep tub-which you have. AND doesn't your bedroom door AND your master bath have locks? Get your CD player set up in the linen closet-play it loud enough that you cannot hear the kids and relax. Yes it will take at least an hour to scrub the tub down-oh but the rewards.

Little Sister said...

Oh and the grime and dirt in the "boys" bath is awful at my house, too. I don't even use their bathroom...it is a wonder that there is ever toilet paper on the holder!

Churlita said...

A friend of mine has always said men can't clean the bathroom because they never had to do it as a kid. I don't know why parents never make the male children clean the bathroom.

Maybe vacuuming would work better for him. It's instant gratification and men seem to like that.

laurie said...

yes, i do like how, once we've entrusted a task to them, we then have to let them decide the standards of cleanliness. yikes.

Anonymous said...

It's instant gratification and men seem to like that.
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