Friday, March 21, 2008
One good paying job
We're having big money trouble here, and my current part time job isn't exactly raking in the dough. But our kids still need a parent around after school and on weekends so they don't start doing heroin like every other kid in Northfield. (read the link, it's good, and no the kids in Northfield aren't on heroin!).
Anyway, I need a lucrative job that will allow me to be around when the kids are home but still cover all the bills. So I'm considering becoming a phone sex operator. I've got a lower register husky voice and I know lots of dirty words. But still I wonder . . . .
Hey, I want some phone sex.
Hmmmm, ok, what are you wearing?
Nothing, I'm just sitting here talking to you.
WHAT? Are you sitting on the good furniture in your all-together? Don't you have any sense? Go get a towel or something!
Never mind, so where were we? Oh yeah, you want to talk dirty to me?
Yeah, baby. Are you a hot b*&%h?
WHAT?? We do NOT use that word in my house!!! That is a woman-hating word and I won't stand for it, am I clear young man???
Hey! I'm not paying to hear my Mom! I just want some phone sex!
Right, sorry, so what do you want to hear?
Moooooaaaaaan! MOOOOOOAAAAAAANN! URGGGHHHH! ARGGHGHHHHG
Oh yeah that's good
No! It's not!! I just stubbed my toe on the vacuum cleaner. I told my husband a thousand times to put it away but NOOOO!
This is NOT going to get me off!
Isn't that just like a man? Everything has to be about YOUR PENIS doesn't it?
That's it! I'm hanging up!
Good! Now go do something useful like the laundry, and pick up your own dirty socks from now on. Moron!