Saturday, April 23, 2011

Ten Commandments LIVE!

Last year I said I'd live blog the Ten Commandments.  I got home after it started, so let's get right to work!

7:15pm I always thought Memnet could have totally taken Nefertiri if she'd tried.

7:32pm See those slaves?  Get used to it if the Republicans have their way.  "the never ending pit of toil and agony, and everywhere the lash of the taskmasters"

7:36pm Enter Vincent Price as John Boehner

7:30 "fellow straw stampers, it's time to talk Union!"

7:41  You're not my princess Nefertiri.  We're an anarcho-communist commune!

7:49  Listen to the cry of slaves?  I don't have to care!  I'm rich!

7:52  And Edward G. Robinson as Joe Leiberman

7:54 Yul Brynner looks super cute in that pleated brown skirt.

8:08  I want giant drum rolls after every proclamation I make at home.

8:19  I swear I've never seen so many men stand with their feet so far apart.

8:22  I know it's Cecil B. DeMille and all, but couldn't they have edited out his denture's whistling?

8:23 I can only imagine that after making this movie, Charlton Heston immediately began his journey to insufferable ass.

8:24  Only a male writer imagines that when groups of women get together, they obsess about men.

8:26  Mrs. Munster was quite the looker!

8:36  New drinking game.  Have a shot every time someone says "bondage"

8:52  Of course she can see the strange man in the rocks.  She's the MOM!   Husbands and kids can't find the butter in the frig unless it falls into their hands.

8:57  "Oh stop that groveling!  If there's anything I can't stand it's groveling.  It's like those miserable psalms, they're SO depressing"

9:07  He said "the kingdom of the most high"  snicker snicker

9:08  Yul Brynner must have experienced some major chafing from his costumes

9:14  I gotta imagine there were quite a few guys in the cast who really enjoyed the leather-on-bare-chest look, the high heeled gold sandals, and the eyeliner.

9:26 "when darkness covers Egypt for 3 days, you'll listen to God, OR you'll remember you're in Minnesota"

9:43  When we were kids we simultaneously loved and feared that green hand of death.

9:49 That creepy kid with Moses on the night of passover.  Isn't that the teen of  Star Trek's "bonk-bonk on the head" fame?

9:58  Yeah sure they got everyone packed and ready to go the very next morning.  Even had trumpeters lined up.  It takes weeks to get my family organized for a day-long trip in the minivan.

10:17  I'm getting tired.  We all know how it ends.  With Yul Brynner demonstrating another dramatic gesture of defeat.  And of course the Jews wandering the desert for 40 years without asking for directions.  And Charlton dying his hair several shades whiter.    Have a great Easter Sunday!

PS - wouldn't you love to get a hold of the blooper reel?


Anita said...

OMG, I really do love that movie, I've seen it 100 times, well atleast 50 or so...LOL.
I do like your LIVE version too, whitty banter is good!!

Dr. MVM said...

You mean you don't obsess about men when you and the gals get together?

Anonymous said...

I think you're wrong, Heston was probably born an insufferable ass. Choosing had nothing to do with it.

SkylersDad said...

Edward G. Robinson saying "Were's your Moses nooooow" makes the whole movie for me!

Mommy Lisa said...

OMG - a blooper reel would be AWESOME. Can you imagine?

Lesli said...

I loved that movie in high school. It was always on Easter night. Guess it still is!

Sheleta said...

Girl you did not say "Enter Vincent Price as John Boehner". Listen, if you are going to be that funny you've got to give me an advanced notice. My bladder ain't as strong as it used to be. I can't read that at 5 in the morning and control my urine flow.
It's really REALLy funny because Boehner is right here in Ohio, in West Chester in fact, just minutes away from our new digs.
I'm still trying to get used to just how conservative this place is.
But like the "children of Israel" I'd better fall in line like all the rest of the slaves, cause we're in for a long ride.
I thought I had my Emancipation papers some where round here. Must have misplaced 'em.

Churlita said...

I used to have the biggest crush on Yul Brenner when I was a kid. Look at his face. Perfection.

dmarks said...

Churlita: And in his "Westworld" role, he could have snapped off his face and handed it to you.