Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Another Theory

Imagine this:

We have "the talk" and left vs right agrees to a national divorce.
We split the country into red or blue.

Blue states will include:
A high tax rate
Fully funded schools and higher education financial aid programs.
Universal Healthcare
A totally secular government
The right to unionize
Unemployment benefits
Social Security
Gay marriage
Reproductive rights

Red states will include:
A low tax rate
Vouchers for schools
Christianity as the sanctioned religion
Healthcare?  Yer on yer own
Unions will be illegal
No unemployment benefits
Any Social Security funds will be privatized
No gay marriage
No reproductive rights

But mark my words - if this were to actually happen, people would be crawling all over each other to make sure they could live in a blue state.  The red states would be populated by the KKK and the Westboro Baptist Church.

So why so folks VOTE that way?


Mommy Lisa said...

Idiots, sheep, religious freaks, they don't get that they are going to be financially punished for sticking to their guns on abortion, gay marriage, etc.


Mnmom said...

I added those two points, thanks for reminding me

kirelimel said...

oh, this sounds just lovely! Yes, lets do this!! when do we start? And can we have the states with the best weather?

Churlita said...

Sign me up for a blue state, please.

Sheleta said...

I vote MC Hammer for President. That's the way I vote. Girl you are the smartest person in the world. Not in America, but in the WORLD! Shucks this country functioned for years as separate unions. If everybody is so unhappy bout everything, split 'em up. That way you can live in a state that reflects your values and not be a part of the states that don't. Hell yeah, let's do it girl. Get Obama on the phone!

Treats said...

Can I live in the blue state farthest away from the red states, please?

philmon said...

Blue states will include:
A high tax rate (and people with capital will leave them for red states)
Fully funded schools and higher education financial aid programs (funded by taking out loans from other countries they never intend to pay back - hey, money's free. Just print more. Or by taking more and more money from people who have it (for the time being -- it's ok. They'll sit there and take it indefinitely, honest.) Besides, to a blue minded person, there is no such thing as "fully funded" education. In your minds, no amount is enough. And throwing more money at education has done SO MUCH to improve it over the last 50 years, has it not?)
Universal Healthcare (better known as government controlled and government rationed healthcare. Hey, why not declare free food for everybody, too? How about housing? But then your fully funded schools probably won't teach Bastiat and Smith, so ... never mind. You won't get it anyway.)
A totally secular government (which we don't have now ... how? Ah, when it enforces morals you don't agree with, but not when it enforces morals you want it to enforce. You do realize that in order to have equal protection under the lawy, you're going to have to have some sort of consistent moral code, no? And what are religions, after all?)
The right to unionize (you mean the right to force people to join a union to work in a particular field)
Unemployment benefits (They'll need it as all the job creators move to red states, and they won't have the tax revenue to pay for it so they'll have to raise taxes even more, and so on, and so on... but that's ok, China will loan them money *forever*! See California, perhaps the bluest state in the Union, and the one farthest over the fiscal cliff. Coincidence? I think not.)
Social Security (which will go bankrupt even faster than it is already due to the mass exodus of people for the jobs in the red states.)
Gay marriage (oh, you mean the right to force people to call something they don't believe is marriage, "marriage"? Ya'll believe in free speech and religious freedom still, right? That whole first amendment thing?)
Reproductive rights (reproductive rights? In what states would you not have the right to reproduce?)

philmon said...

Red states will include:
A low tax rate (yaaaay -- bring on the businesses and jobs)
Vouchers for schools (freedom to pay for the education you want rather than the one forced on you by government officials)
Christianity as the sanctioned religion (all religions are sanctioned. It's just that nobody would have the right to shut us up because they don't like it. Indian totem poles and Buddha statues are groovy, but hey! Get that cross out of my face!)
Healthcare? Yer on yer own (as it should be -- and your family and private charity.)
Unions will be illegal (no, they wouldn't be illegal, you just wouldn't be forced to join one)
No unemployment benefits (seriously ... in a perfect world, also as it should be. but I doubt it would happen)
Any Social Security funds will be privatized (and this is bad ... why??? Because private companies will would lose the money, wasting it on corruption and pillaging it for other purposes ... hey, wait ... isn't that what the Federal Government is doing with it already?)
No gay marriage (Wrong, you could do whatever you want and call it whatever you want ... you just couldn't force others to call it what they don't want to call it or treat it in any other way than they deem appropriate)
No reproductive rights (what you really mean is no right to kill inconvenient people, "reproductive rights" is such a glossy term for that -- again, there would be no restrictions on reproduction... except maybe in blue states ... like China ... to suppress population and save Mother Gaia from the "cancer" on the earth that is humanity)

Westborough Baptist Church? Pleeeease! Nobody but nobody but nobody likes the Westborough Baptist "Church" ... which is really more a sick extended family of around 40 people in Kansas that gets extremely disproportionate publicity largely due to the fact that they deploy the kind of blaring attention-getting tactic normally deployed by leftist whacks, but nobody likes them so lefties can score cheap points with everybody by pointing them out and pretending they represent anybody other than those 40 people. I'm not even sure they like themselves, frankly.