Saturday, April 5, 2008

My Life as a Sitcom

Ever take a step back and realize your life is like a comedy, but without the laugh track? So I just provide an internal laugh track and chuckle my way through.

1. The CD/Radio in my van is stuck ON. There is no way on God's Green Earth I can turn that sucker off short of ripping it out of the dashboard. And the volume control has gone down too, so it's just loud enough to be annoying but not loud enough to actually HEAR what's being said. And we don't have the money right now to fix or replace it. I've discovered that if I put in a blank CD, at least it's silent.

2. Half of the dashboard lights in the same van have gone down. Think there's a connection? But I can still see most of the speedometer. And we've decided a pen light duct taped to the steering column will do when the whole enchilada breaks. No way will we pay someone to tear out the dashboard for diagnostics on a van with 130,000 miles on it.

3. One of my twins has become like the Tide stain commercial. I'm trying to tell her something and she's interrupting because she's 14 and therefore knows it ALL. Then 3 minutes later she's asking "when are we leaving?", "how do I do this?", and the whirlpool starts again.

4. Today I put in my first contact lens at exactly the same moment an undried soap bubble entered my eye socket. Much cursing ensued.

5. We own three cats, and I'm a dog person. And lately a stray has been hanging around who looks like Mao Tse Tung, so we call him Chairman Mao and the kids hiss at him.

18 comments:

Cheesecake Maven said...

So, I just now returned from the Broadway musical, Little Women. I find our lives in direct contrast to those oh-so-sickeningly-lovely and innocent March sisters. I'll bet none of them ever had to deal with duct tape fixes to life.

Your van troubles MIGHT be fixable with a fuse change. Look up under your dash for the fuse box and see if one is down.

Good luck with Chairman Mao. If the rest of the cat gang starts carrying little red books, be careful! You may end up with the Gang of Four!

Christopher Tassava said...

This post is so crazy and funny, I don't even know where to really start. Instead, I'll just ask you to post a picture of the cat that looks like Mao. Obviously, you'll name him Meow Tse-Tung, right?

michaelg said...

I'm with cheesecake. If you still have the owners manual, you will find instructions in there about which fuse controls your dashboard lights. Otherwise look it up on line. You kind of need your dashboard lights. Meatloaf once saw paradise by them. (Ick.)

Which 14 year old??? Two words: car aerial. And as I've said before you don't actually need to beat them with it. You just have to be seen by them ripping it off the van with your bare hands. Have they been watching too much Top Model?

Mnmom said...

You guys are hilarious!!!!

Mnmom said...

And we've had the fuses checked and they are just fine. The repair guy stays the next step is to take off the dashboard and see what's happening - well THAT'S not happening.

Missy said...

Oh no! Maybe you could duct tape a boom box to the dashboard for some tunes?

My husband and I took a little day trip to Northfield yesterday, I was watching for you. I thought I saw you in a store that sells fancy craft supplies, "Dabble"?

We wanted to get our oil changed while we took in downtown, but apparently all the car repair places there are either closed Saturday or close by noon. We are very spoiled I guess.

Mnmom said...

Missy - nope that wasn't me. I was in Burnsville all day. Yes, the car repair places run on a small town schedule, but you could have tried Oil Can Henry's out by Target.
Did you enjoy your trip to Northfield?

Missy said...

Oil Can Henry's!?!??! I wish I had found that place. We just stuck to downtown, I do not even know where the Target is.

We did enjoy Northfield. We ate at the Contented Cow, but we were wishing we were in the mood for that Waffle place. We will have to go back in a waffle mood.

We tried to grab some ice cream at the fudge ice cream place on the way out of town, but that was closed too, at like 6pm. don't people go and get ice cream after dinner on Saturday's there?

The worst business schedule ever was when I was in West Des Moines, Iowa and the Subway Sandwich shop closed at 7pm on a Friday.

Mnmom said...

I think you hit the fudge place on Hwy 19 that's actually an orchard, so they are very seasonal.
Things do shut down downtown on weekend nights, except the pubs.

michaelg said...

MNMom: Beware of the above post from Kijar. Here's a bit of info I found on the web about this:

The site XPEnprotect.com redirects the user to Onlinexpscanner.com site which is a new fake/scare scan scam page trying to push XPAntiVirus Rogue Security application.

You would probably do well just to delete his comment with the link.

michaelg said...

Wierd. It was there. Now its not. Hmmmm.

Mnmom said...

MG - it WAS there then I removed it. I'm aware of the problem = thanks for the information. I was just searching blogspot.com to see if I could report this but ran out of time.

Cheesecake Maven said...

I want to download a 'laugh track' for the ipod and have it in the car. It could really come in handy!

kim said...

I love you MN Mom. I know all about that lights dimming thing on the old German Jetta made in Mexico. My only way out was a new Jetta with double the car payment. Ouch.

Like you, I am a dog person with two cats. They are divorce cats. I told my daughter, if they get sick, I have a $200 vet bill limit, and then it's lights out.

You are a good mom.

Mnmom said...

Ha Missy! You're fabulous too! We have one cat that recently needed a $200 urinary tract fix. If it happens again, it's curtains for him.

Mnmom said...

Errrr, not Missy but Kim, but Missy yes you are also fabulous

Johnny Yen said...

My life frequently turns into Driver's Ed videos, with people slowing down or stopping inexplicably in front of me, pedestrians jumping out in front of me, and people driving into my lane without signal or explanation.

Mnmom said...

Johnny Yen - that's hysterical!