Monday, April 7, 2008

How Come?

Often, I ponder. . . . .

1. How come the ranch dressing in restaurants tastes so much better than anything I can get at the grocery store?

2. Why does red licorice give me heartburn?

3. Why can't my family see the stuff piled up on the stairs?

4. Why does everything at the Minnesota State Fair cost $20?

5. Why am I always at the 4-way stop with the teenager who doesn't understand 4-way stops?

6. Why do I always ruin every nice shirt with one little spot of olive oil?

7. Why doesn't the government provide grants for kids' sports equipment and fees?

8. How come missing just one freakin day of flossing, and my gums go to pot?

9. Why does everyone eat in the living room, when the rule is NO eating in the living room?

10. How come American actors are drop dead beautiful while British actors are just so-so? For the record, I prefer the British ones - they're funnier.

11. I'm 46, and still have acne and oily skin. At what age, exactly, will I "grow out of it"?

12. When will Spring get here?


michaelg said...

1. Because you're not running to the fridge to get it yourself.
4. Not everything. A pile of Sweet Martha's and a glass of milk is still only about 7 bucks.
7. Because they need to subsidize the oil companies.
9. Raised by wolves?
10. Examples of drop dead gorgeous British actors: Clive Owen (meow), Jude Law, Hugh Grant(quirky), Hellen Mirren, Kate Winslet. That said, I do have a hard time looking past funky teeth.
12. Never. Apparently, it will always be cloudy and below 50 degrees.

Cheesecake Maven said...

1. no xanthum gum, it is usually homemade with full-fat sour cream!
2. you are 46
3. they are not the mom
4. stick to the 'on-a-stick' items
5. see #2 above
6. see #2 above
7. too busy bailing out the banks!
8. see #2 above
9. they are animals
10. see #2 above
11. see #2 above
12. I have no idea! It is currently snowing -very hard- here.

Johnny Yen said...

Hey, I bought a bunch of stuff for way under 20 bucks at the Minnesota State Fair last year, including:

A fried pickle for my stepdaughter
Some kind of exotic barbecued wildlife on a stick and a "Barack Obama '08" button for my son
A barbecued turkey drumstick for myself

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I'm right there with you on 5,6, and 11.

Anonymous said...
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Missy said...

1. I have the same question regarding honey mustard dressing. I have to add that some restaurants make it homemade...but some use big jugs of Hidden Valley Ranch...

4. Oh! michalg had to go and mention Sweet Martha's! Yum. Those are in a buckt, not on a stick...that may have something to do with it. Maybe sticks bump up the cost.

6. I know! I do the same thing.

10. Some brits are gorgeous and I like them better too!

12. You are 46.

Ha! spring should be coming soon...I think.