If you don't already know him, let me introduce . .

Eddie Izzard! He is by far the funniest man I have ever found. And please realize he's not just any transvestite, he's an EXECUTIVE transvestite. If you can get a hold of this on DVD, it's worth every penny. Many thanks to Madame Leiderhosen for reminding me.

A tag from Dr. Monkey

Which book do you irrationally cringe away from reading, despite seeing only positive reviews?
Poisonwood Bible

If you could bring three characters to life for a social event (afternoon tea, a night of clubbing, perhaps a world cruise) My parents and Molly Ivins. I’d love to tell Mom and Dad everything that’s happened since they left, and tell them a thousand times over that I’m sorry for everything I did or didn’t do. Then Mom and I would hoot and holler with Molly Ivins while Dad smirked.


You are told you can't die until you read the most boring novel on the planet. While this immortality is great for awhile, eventually you realise it's past time to die. Which book would you expect to get you a nice grave? Crime and Punishment


Which book have you pretended, or at least hinted, that you've read, when in fact you've been nowhere near it? Great Expectations – some friends have made analogies between my Grandma and Mrs. Haversham. I’m working on it now, one little chapter at a time.


As an addition to the last question, has there been a book that you really thought you had read, only to realise when you read a review about it/go to 'reread' it that you haven't?
Nope

You've been appointed Book Advisor to a VIP (who's not a big reader). What's the first book you'd recommend and why?
Ishmael – to understand what the human race is facing.


A good fairy comes and grants you one wish: you will have perfect reading comprehension in the foreign language of your choice. Which language do you go with?

Italian, so I can understand my in-laws. I think they’re talking about me.

A mischievous fairy comes and says that you must choose one book that you will reread once a year for the rest of your life (you can read other books as well). Which book would you pick?
I already do that!! The Education of Little Tree, A Christmas Carol

What's one bookish thing you 'discovered' from book blogging (maybe a new genre, or author, or new appreciation for cover art-anything)?
I’ve discovered that I still have so many books to read.

That good fairy is back for one final visit. Now, she's granting you your dream library! Describe it. Is everything leatherbound? Is it full of first edition hardcovers? Pristine trade paperbacks? Perhaps a few favourite authors have inscribed their works? Go ahead-let your imagination run free.
Walls lined with dark wooden shelves, full of books, all easy to handle. Some are oversized art/architecture books. Most are just thumping good reads. I don't need first editions or signed copies - just the plain old books is fine. Good sized windows to let in the sunlight with heavy velvet drapes to draw closed on cold winter nights. An open dictionary right in the middle of the room. A large library table with great seating all around. A computer for internet access. Large comfy overstuffed chairs with side tables, ottomans and reading lamps. Some are chaise lounges. Warm blankets and throws. Thick oriental rugs over hardwood floors. An enormous wood-burning fireplace. Several pair of reading glasses at each table. A kitchenette with coffee, half and half, tea, and wine available. And of course this is all located quite near the kitchen.



You are tagged now too!

Another idea for the idea challenged

A great challenge from Melinda June:

Various sets of four things about me that you may or may not know
in no particular order

Four jobs I have had in my life
1. Sales clerk at a lingerie store
2. College food service
3. Counselor in a half-way house for mentally ill adults
4. Vocational Program Manager for developmentally disabled adults

Four movies I could watch over and over:
1. Tootsie
2. Gone with the Wind
3. Christmas Story
4. Dances with Wolves

Four places I have lived:
1. Decorah IA
2. Cedar Rapids, IA
3. Iowa City, IA
4. Northfield, MN

Four TV Shows that I watch:
1. Masterpiece Theatre
2. Mind of Mencia, once in awhile
3. The Daily Show
4. American Idol, God help me, yes, I watch it with my kids

Four Places I have been:
1. New York City
2. The Rocky Mtns
3. Daytona Beach
4. Route 66

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Cheeseburgers
2. Sushi
3. Potato salad
4. BLT's

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Alone with my husband, just about anywhere
2. A nice warm beach
3. With my family, anywhere above 40 degrees
4. In bed

Four things I am looking forward to this year:
1. A planned trip to South Carolina
2. Summer
3. Some new job opportunities that have opened lately
4. Just living - life is pretty good

Say it ain't so John, say it ain't so

It's a cold day in Minnesota, and it's not just the weather. John Edwards has dropped out of the presidential race. This is not good for America. John Edwards had a true grasp on what ails us as a nation. He understood the plight of the Working Joe. He understood the challenges single mothers face. He knew first hand the devastation of medical hardship. He knew grief, the grief that will tear your guts into pieces and leave you broken and bleeding. He understood the need for generosity and patience. He knew better than to rely on red herrings to distract us from the hard issues. I remain a John Edwards supporter.

The demise of good english

I try to stay positive, really I do. But sometimes I get so irritated that I must speak out. Case in point; the slow demise of good spoken English by each generation. The current youth need to cease with the following:

1. "soo . . . ummm . . . yeah."
2. Dude!! at our house it has morphed into Dude-Mom! Dude-Mom??!
3. Like . . . like . . . like . . . like . . . like
4. Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy
5. Every sentence spoken like a question? This is so irritating?

When will this stop??

Don't mean to keep harping on this, but our weather is just dramatically cold and dangerous. From weatherunderground: Tonight Windy. Partly cloudy. Lows around 15 below. Northwest winds 20 to 30 mph decreasing to 15 to 20 mph after midnight. Wind chill readings 27 below to 37 below zero.

My skin hurts, and the fire in the fireplace has all the warmth of a lit match.

25 years later . . .

I loved being tagged. Like I've said earlier, I don't have many original thoughts so being tagged gives me something to write about.

Here's the challenge: List 5 things you couldn't imagine 25 years ago. Or something to that effect. Twenty five years ago, I would have been 21. Whoa!!

1. I didn't think we could "elect" such a corrupt, conservative, Constitution-bashing administration. I believe in evolution and thought we were getting smarter. I didn't imagine any US government could erode civil rights and legal protections so quickly, and with so little protest from American citizens.

2. I didn't think I'd have all daughters, and that I'd enjoy it so much. Having all girls is a truly amazing experience. Also didn't think I'd have all my kids after the age of 31

3. I didn't think I'd meet and marry a New York Italian in my very late 20's, and that after 17 years of marriage he'd still make me weak in the knees.

4. I couldn't imagine the impact the computer and internet would have on my life. Sometimes I forget that information wasn't always right at my fingertips. I love being connected with far-flung friends and relatives almost on a daily basis. Sometimes I worry I'm too dependent.

5. I didn't think that in middle life I'd still be struggling financially. This housing slump has hit us HARD.

If Melinda June didn't tag you, you are NOW officially tagged.

Can anyone tell me, what's a meme??

THIS is why we're crazy up here

From our local news:
Nearly a 60 degree drop in temperatures is expected from this afternoon to Wednesday morning! An Arctic cold front will sweep across the area tonight dropping temperatures back in the deep freeze. Readings will be in the middle 30s around midnight and will fall to around 20 degrees by sunrise and below zero by Tuesday evening. Wind chills will drop close to -35 degrees Tuesday evening. Temperatures will fall into the double digits below zero by Wednesday morning and may struggle to climb very far above zero Wednesday afternoon.

Today was lovely - around 40 degrees. And now we'll get slapped again with the freezing temps. Winter for the most part I can take. I just can't take these frigid temps. It's too painful on my old bones.

Only in Minnesota

Watch this video. This is what deep winter does to folks up here.

I've figured out my scanner - now the fun starts!

This fab couple is my parents. Aren't they the cutest little people? From them comes my short legs, big head, great teeth, bad eyes, musical ability, and sarcastic sense of humor. I'm sure this photo was taken at my grandparent's farm in northern Iowa. My Dad was just finishing his Civil Engineering degree at Iowa State, and Mom was teaching school. My Dad's head looks exactly like mine - we just can't wear hats. They are happy because they hadn't yet created four whiny, destructive kids who would suck them dry of all their money and looks and ruin all the good furniture. Actually they loved being parents, and being grandparents was even better.

This is my brother and I in our backyard in Marshalltown, Iowa probably 1964. We are wearing the coolest Gunsmoke sweatshirts. My Mom took lots of photos and had them developed as slides. And they still look good some 40 plus years later.

That is one lethal looking rake.

Remember when we were comparing our "Little House on the Prairie" phases? Well this was mine. I loved this dress with a passion that's hard to describe. Mom bought it for me at our downtown JCPenney and I was in heaven. Let me make an important distinction. I loved the Little House BOOKS and loathed the show. This look predates that horrible TV program anyway, so I was prairie before Michael Landon made it sappy. This could also be called my Holly Hobby phase.

This is my wonderful husband holding his nephew. That nephew is now a college freshman. Johnny C, as we call my better half, is one funny guy. He has the driest sense of humor and will crack the best jokes, but he'll say them only once and quietly at that. So if you miss it, you miss it.
One of his favorite activities is razzing his Mom. Before each visit, he'll grow a full beard. Then each day during the visit he'll shave it into some new and interesting shape. Makes her crazy. This photo was taken on day 2 I believe.
John is a one-of-a-kind Italian. First generation. Spoke only Italian until Kindergarten. Bilingual since then. But he has blue eyes, pale hair, and rarely shows emotion. I like to say I signed up for an Italian but got a German.

Terrifying Terrorist

Remember when authorities stopped Cat Stevens at an airport because he was an anti-war sympathizer? Good thing someone finally stopped this evil man and his wicked music, tunics, and flowers. Why does he hate freedom? 9-11!!!!

Minnesota Loves Al Franken

This guy is fabulous!

Who'da thunk it?

From Kare11 news in Minneapolis:
Shark attack in Minnesota? Who woulda thought? Fortunately, the victim was another shark, and that shark survived. But not before a tunnel full of aquarium visitors were treated to a true, raw display of nature.

Jessie, the nine foot, 300 pound sand tiger shark is the biggest shark in the Underwater Adventures Aquarium at the Mall of America. On Friday, she chomped down on a four and a half foot, 50 pound white tip reef shark.

Why are we amazed when wild animals behave like, uh, wild animals?

Note to self . . . . .

.... you are 46 years old and can't have two Diet Pepsi's after 6pm and still hope to get any sleep.

You gotta love the Onion

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Seen in every corner of Minnesota today

I've always wanted one of these hats, and today I'll REALLY want one. Our temp right now is 13 below. As my sis said the other day, it's amazing how the teenagers still leave my house in this weather dressed in the absolute minimum while I'm needing long johns and electric socks. I've bumped the heat up to an incredible global-warming Republican-like 70 degrees and it's still uncomfortable.

Why do we live here? Outside of this, the weather here is usually beautiful and keeps us on our toes with it's variety. You haven't lived until you've seen an enormous midwestern thunderstorm come rolling in over the plains. Or walked in the falling snow at night.

Just keep my toes from freezing and I'll enjoy the frozen sunny skies.

We are so greedy, and so screwed.

Check out this art installation. This was sent to me by a friend. I'm hoping this will be on display in the Twin Cities at some point.

It's humbling. and infuriating. and an incentive.

Let me introduce the Cheesecake Maven.

We have a new blog to add to the fun. Be gentle, she's new to blogging. And she's my sister.

Wow, I posted 4 times in the last 15 minutes - that has to be a new record.

This one's for Melinda June

I love this.

What's that SMELL???

From Local News:
At 11:00 today, officials at Blaine High School noticed a very strong gas smell throughout the building. They called police, fire department and the gas company and evacuated the entire building. What they discovered was that during maintenance on the school's ice chiller, water was used to flush it out. That water connected with a dry substance and the drain created a very strong smell. The strong odor permeated through the sewer system throughout the building.

My guess it was the smell of AXE on all the Freshman guys mixing with the varied hair products of the Junior girls.

Organized Religion does that to me too

Cameras caught Pres. Bill Clinton nodding off at the Convent Avenue Baptist Church in Harlem on Sunday. Video shows the former president sleeping while Martin Luther King Junior's son talks about his father's legacy. Clinton woke up when his elbow slipped off the arm of his chair. The video shows he caught himself and recovered nicely, but he's obviously sleepy.

In the past, cameras caught him nodding off during Ronald Reagan's funeral, and during a Mets game.

Poor guy, one lethal combination of age and religion. I felt equal sympathy when George Bush #1 puked in the lap of the Japanese Prime Minister.

We're home safe and sound

We're home after a harrowing drive from Decorah, Iowa. To say it was snowing heavily puts it mildly. We had no business being on the road. During the stretch of Hwy 52 in Rochester MN, there were several accidents. I don't mean just cars in the ditch, I mean pile-ups involving several cars and emergency vehicles. Two such multi-car incidents involved an ambulance. The highway was like a skating rink. Several cars were crashed into guard rails with the drivers in them, talking on the phone. Probably being told by the 911 operators that they'd get right to them ASAP.

The Exploding Whale

This is the exploding whale to which Iowamom3 refers. Men REALLY like to blow things up.

Return of the Ice Bowl

This weekend's NFL playoff game between the Green Bay Packers and the New York Giants will most definitely be a return of the ICE BOWL. The predicted high at Lambeau Field is 4 above.

On December 31, 1967, the Packers played Dallas at Lambeau Field in Green Bay during one of the coldest days on record. The daytime high reached -13 degrees with a windchill around 48 below.

From wikipedia: The bitter cold overwhelmed Lambeau's new turf heating system, leaving the playing surface hard as a rock and nearly as smooth as ice, but many believe Packer coach Vince Lombardi turned it off. The officials were unable to use their whistles after the opening kickoff. As the referee blew his metal whistle to signal the start of play, it froze to his lips. For the rest of the game, the officials used voice commands and calls to end plays and officiate the game.

Several players, including Dallas defensive tackle Jethro Pugh and Green Bay quarterback Bart Starr, still claim to suffer occasional mild effects of the frostbite they developed that day. Dallas quarterback Don Meredith came down with pneumonia after the game and was hospitalized on his return to Texas.

Furthermore, the UW - La Crosse Marching Chiefs band were supposed to perform the pregame and halftime shows. During warmups in the brutal cold, the woodwind instruments froze and wouldn't play, the mouthpieces of brass instruments got stuck to the players' lips, and seven members of the band were transported to local hospitals for hypothermia. The band's performances were canceled.

My husband has a video of this day and it looks downright brutal. All those cheeseheads in thin scarves and thinner shoes. They stood outside in the horrid weather without goretex, polypropylene, electric hunting socks, or those little miracles in a bag called hand warmers. I like football but I'm not an idiot. Tune in on Sunday just to see what people are wearing. Don't you just KNOW one guy will have a naked painted chest.

It's just so awfully COLD!

Our high today was 5. And with the windchill, I believe we are in the -10 range. It hurts to be outside. But from INSIDE, it's really beautiful. On these extreme cold winter days in Minnesota, the sun is so bright and perfect, and the snow is a crisp unbelievable white. So here's to the inside, central heat, hot coffee, and long johns - long may they wave!

Men just like to blow things up

A Minnesota man faces some serious charges after creating and detonating a homemade bomb on his own property. If you watch the video, you can hear his friends whooping it up in the background. This is something I could see my family doing. Albeit on a much smaller scale.

In my opinion, this is a case of a very bored Minnesotan, not some terrorist. The Feds in DC have no idea what deep winter is like. I'm ready to blow something up and it's not even February. I'll have to settle for burning popcorn in the microwave. I'm hoping that common sense will prevail and they won't throw the book at him. Make him do some community service - actually, make him help track down REAL terrorists trying to buy this stuff on the internet. Or train him for the bomb squad. Obviously the guy has some talents to contribute.

Aunt Mike's Wife, Uncle Shirley

This is my sister, and wife to Aunt Mike, Uncle Shirley. Shirley has turned 44 in the past year, but she's still younger than me and therefore must always bow to my superiority and fetch me things when I ask.

Shirley makes cheesecake that would make the Pope swear. She's also a great artist and community volunteer. If there is a need in town, Shirley's working on it. She is also a voracious reader - must run in the family. As a teen, one of my creative friends started calling her Squirrel-bait.

We were raised by no-nonsense Iowa farmers, and Squirrel-bait won the lottery on those genes. She's had odd kharma that has caused her to take animals out of their misery. In the highly liberal college town where we both received our degrees, it was her mercy-killing talents that brought her to a crowd of folks sobbing over a bird with a seriously broken wing. Shirley had the sense to put it out of it's misery and stomp on it's head. The onlooking crowd was ready to string her up. This type of incident has happened more than once. Poor Squirrel-bait.

This photo was a hilarious moment when I dared her to jump in the foam pit at the gymnastics center during a birthday party. Ever tried to climb out of a pit of foam while laughing your ass off? It's not easy and can't be done with any measure of dignity or decorum. You have to huff and sweat and contort yourself just to reach the edge. I also have this on video, which is even funnier. She won't be happy with this image but it makes me laugh ever time, and it's my blog, so there.

Hats off to Uncle Shirley!

Let me introduce some of my family.

Here stands my brother-in-law, Aunt Mike. Why Aunt Mike? You'll have to ask my kids - they started calling their gun-toting-deer-killing-wood-chopping uncle Aunt Mike years ago.

Mike is the original all-around guy. Not only does he pursue the manly hobbies listed above, but he also has a groovy Ph.D. He cooks like a demon, supports gay rights, votes progressive, reads almost as much as me, and gets all shivery and drooling at the prospect of getting his home off the grid. Mike likes to kill it and grill it. Here he is featured with chunks of Iowa grown venison that he's mighty proud of. He'll turn the musty old age of 46 on January 30th, just two weeks behind me.

Well done, Aunt Mike! Or should we say Medium Well?

How many days left of this crap??!?!

"President Bush warned on Tuesday that soaring fuel prices posed a danger to continued U.S. economic growth as he urged OPEC nations to put more oil on the world market."

Instead of challenging our country to get off the fossil fuel addiction in the first place. There is an excellent article in today's MN Star Tribine about chemist who have found a way to make algae, aka pond scum, into a viable fuel source.

Now THAT'S leadership!!

It's my birthday too, yeah!

Yes today, January 14th, is my 46th birthday. Wow, I'm 46. Don't feel a day over 30. I'm up at the ungodly hour of 4:13am because I can't sleep. And it's a boring story why having to do with crappy food at my daughter's volleyball tournament. But here are the HAPPY THINGS that have occurred around my birthday:

I hosted book club Friday night and they gave me a lovely cake, cards, and some gifts. I have the best friends in the whole world and I'm one lucky old lady.

The next book club choice is one I've already read, so I have a month free to read what I want!

More of said wonderful friends took me out for brunch today. Still one lucky old lady.

One of those brunch friends gave me a great book, so now I have something to read that isn't the book club choice.

Tonight my hubby and kids are taking me out to dinner. Anytime I don't have to wash dishes is really OK by me.

So today I'm grateful for another birthday, for superlative friends, for blogging pals, for cake, for brunch, for gifts and cards, and for a pretty great life.

Another list challenge

Saw this on another blog: You’ve just learned that tomorrow you will die at sunrise. Tell me the five things you regret and the five things you don’t.

REGRETS:
1. Being so afraid of life. Afraid to move far away when I was single, afraid to do well in school, afraid to break up with crappy boyfriends, you get the picture.
2. Letting myself get so fat.
3. Being mean and snotty to my parents - they deserved better. They're gone and I'll never get the chance to apologize.
4. Like the old midwestern saying; getting too soon old and too late smart.
5. Not getting my teacher's license while in college.

THINGS I DON'T REGRET:
1. Having kids. They are my oxygen and I love them so much it hurts.
2. Marrying John. He's a rock and my best friend.
3. Moving to Minnesota. LOVE it here.
4. Getting my bunions fixed at age 25.
5. Getting my BA at a large University. I think it prepared me for the real world, where you are on your own, and no one will call to see why you're skipping class.
6. And just one more: stalking Al Franken and other favorite politicos.

You're TAGGED!!

One Great Song

I just love this song. And if you haven't seen the movie and love good 50's cheese, rent "Calamity Jane".

The right-wing also invented mucus

I have a marathon cold. It started Dec. 23rd and hasn't let up since. Things not normally available in nature are coming out of my nose. I'm now convinced this virus is also a right-wing conspiracy designed to keep me from working for peace and justice. How can I volunteer for Al Franken when breathing is questionable?

Adsense is a vast right-wing conspiracy!

Blogging pal MG and I have given Google Adsense a try. It's supposed to work off key words in our blogs and place appropriate ads. Not that we're in it for the money, but you just never know. I do have three kids to put through college after all.

However, I'm now convinced it's a Bush administration vehicle for furthering neocon evil. MG's blog now has ads for Christian singles and mine has an ad for Mike Huckabee. HELLO! Do they READ our blogs??

So watch the bottom of my blog page for further evidence.

TAG, I'm it!

Blogging pal MG asks "What social activity or situation do you avoid because of a personal insecurity (silly, serious or otherwise)?"

I've always been the outrageous obnoxious type that doesn't let many insecurities get in my way. My blubber-body goes to the beach. My acne-scarred face is in photos. You get the idea.

However, since my little skirmish with breast cancer in 2003 I've developed a strange performance anxiety problem. I've always loved to sing, and singing in public was no problem: solo, with a group, anything. But now I get the oddest dizzy feeling and start swaying like a willow tree. This even happens if I'm in a large group, say singing hymns at church or the National Anthem at sporting events. It's quite embarrassing and I hate it - I miss singing!!

Thoughts on Red Lobster

So we had supper at Red Lobster on Saturday. My twins requested this for their *14th birthday dinner. As we sat waiting in the overcrowded lobby I made some observations.

1. When did it cease to be proper manners that men and boys remove their hats when indoors? There's just something about grown men and teens wearing those stupid baseball hats in restaurants that just chaps my hide. Ok, so Red Lobster isn't exactly the Oceanaire but still, can't they just leave them in the car?

2. People wear weird shoes. Look down at the feet of a crowd sometime.

3. I was forced to sit next to a couple that smelled like cigarettes and home furnishings that hadn't been washed since 1977. What do I expect? It was Red Lobster after all.

4. Some people are absolutely, completely unaware of traffic flow. Unfortunately my husband is one of them. He's a tall broad-shouldered man who has the uncanny ability to stand exactly where the wait staff need to walk. And he will stand there through multiple wait staff attempts to get around him before I have to physically move him. He's also one of those drivers who stay in the passing lane. Passive aggression or just cluelessness? The world is waiting for an answer.

5. Those cheese biscuits are just mighty tasty.

6. I'm crab-leg challenged. My 8-year-old can fish out the largest, most lovely chunks of crab. I'm forced to use the little crab fork to get the tiniest portions imaginable. I get so frustrated! I just want to dip a big hunk of crab in the butter before it congeals.


*MY TWINS ARE 14! When did THAT happen? It's just impossible because I'm not a day over 27.

Long Live the DFL!!

Our DFL guy won the special election!!! Kevin Dahle will be replacing the evil Sen. Neuville in the MN Senate. Our Senate now has the power to override a Pawlenty veto. Sometimes really GOOD things happen to GOOD people.

Be sure to VOTE!

To all my fellow area Minnesotans, be sure to VOTE for DFLer Kevin Dahle in the special election today. We cannot let Ray Cox return to the MN Legislature - he is no friend of education or progress in general.

I subbed in a science classroom yesterday that had 38 students in it. I kid you not, 38 kids and one teacher. That is a direct result of Ray Cox and his fellow Republicans voting against an increase in education funding.

Cuts in public education hurt us all, not just students and their parents. These kids are being flung into the future seriously ill-prepared to function in society - unless they live in an area well-funded through commercial taxes. But if they live in a school district almost entirely funded by residential property tax, they are SOL. Try telling someone in those districts that this administration didn't raise their taxes.

A big pat on the back to my fellow Iowans caucusing tonight - WAY TO GO IOWA!!!!

New Year's Intentions

Had a New Year's talk with a friend. She said we should have intentions, not resolutions, for the New Year. So here goes . . . .

1. I intend to be a great deal more positive and quit bitching about my kids, my messy house, and our lack of money.

2. I intend to move my body more.

3. I intend to cut back on some very negative friends. One in particular. I've already had a serious talk with her that I just can't listen to her complaining anymore. It brings me down like the proverbial load of bricks. Sounds cruel, but it's really affecting my life and screws up intention #1.

4. I intend to find some meaningful work. Right now that's substitute teaching - I know it sounds like a joke job, but I really love it.

5. I intend to infuse my life with more gratitude.

6. I intend to put a President in the Oval Office who can actually THINK and LEAD!