Monday, November 26, 2007

Lists of Passion and Hate - the Holiday Version!



Happy Holidays!! Or maybe not. While I do enjoy many elements of this festive time of year, there are still some things that just make me scream. Enjoy!

1. Cheesy carols played over, and over, and over, and over, and over. See "Little Saint Nick" in my hated songs list.
2. The pressure to buy useless things for people who don't need anything.
3. People who bring crappy cookies to cookie exchanges. You're supposed to put a little effort into it.
4. Global warming making one brown Christmas after another. Damn George Bush!!! He has stolen snow from Minnesota!
5. Women's magazines and their incessant push to make me feel inadequate. My house isn't perfect, and even at Xmas, nay ESPECIALLY at Xmas, we still have clutter, mail, game pieces, dirty socks, coffee cups, and school bags littering the place.
6. Families who insist that their kids keep believing in Santa - even when said kids are over 7 years old. Makes me want to just spoil it all for them.
7. When my own kids won't get into baking holiday cookies with me - they'd rather hang out with their adolescent friends. WTF????
8. Carolers who sing "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". I hate that song with the passion of a thousand white-hot suns. The only thing I hate more is the shouted "additions" created sometime in the 80's - you know them. "Had a very shiny nose - LIKE A LIGHT BULB". I'm a music snob. Can't they learn "I wonder as I wander?"
9. Christmas sweaters. Invented by my gender. I apologize on behalf of all women wearing chunky knits with snowmen on them. If they light up, I apologize ten-fold.
10. Celebrities warbling their version of Christmas songs - just stick to the notes will you? I don't need to hear the scat version of O Holy Night.

4 comments:

kirelimel said...

Might I add that horrible duet of Dolly Parton and Rod Stewart singing "Baby it's cold outside" - heard it again the other day and had to stop the car to vomit.

Mnmom said...

You poor thing

Melinda June said...

You've just bashed about eight things I love, but it's Christmas so I'll forgive you. I'm a Christmas simp, and proud of it!

michaelg said...

I like it when Jewish entertainers make Christmas albums. Sell outs. Personally, I can't hear enough of The Dreidel Song.