I sure wish my parents were alive. I want to look at them, well mostly Mom, with the frustration and exasperation of the holidays with teens, and for her to tell me it's perfectly normal. Every year I have this fantasy that it'll be all wonderful, with music on the stereo, and all of us happily cleaning and futzing and generally getting ready for the holiday. The reality is that my kids and husband just don't see the mess like I do. Bad? Wrong? Who's to decide. I think the difference is that when my in laws come, they won't notice how messy the family is, they'll notice how messy I let the house become.
It's always the Mom's fault. Even though the Mom works full time. We've still got a long way to go baby.
And once I'd like to hear a thank you from anyone here about the food I made. Yesterday I created cranberry cocktail meatballs, spinach balls, baked brie, a bleu cheese ball, etc. And I have 5 days of menus planned for 11 people to prepare in my "kitchenette". And today all I get is tsk tsk's because I didn't make an antipasti platter with pepperoncini, red peppers, and other Italian things.
If any of you out there still have your Mom, and she made anything, literally anything, for you at Christmas; or she made sure there was something under the tree for you; or she made the holidays merry even in simple little ways, do me a favor - go thank her profusely. Tell her how much you appreciate every little gesture.
7 comments:
If you can, my dear, reframe. Thank God you had the Mom you did! I often have this thought when I hear MIL and mother stories from hell. Love and happy holidays!
Hugs to you, sweet friend- I love the photos- isn't it just wonderful to look back and see yourself so little and safe and loved and cared for. It must be Ruth in the top photo with the way too cute jammies- Adorable!!!
Oh my god! The Major Matt Mason Space Crawler!!
I never knew anybody else who had that toy!!!
But back to your post, I am sorry that they don't appreciate you.
I hear your frustration. I experienced some of that this year, feeling like no matter what I do, it's never going to be good enough.
OMG I KNOW.
Let me tell you, for many years my MIL never said thank you to me for one thing I did when she visited, and I cooked a lot of really good meals for her. Never offered to take us out just once, never offered to help with the dishes, nothing. Recently she has begun at least saying something along the lines of "this is good." Unrelated, but another thing that really gets to me is that she's also never once said one positive thing about me as a mom. For all I do for and with her granddaughters, I've never heard a word of positive reinforcement or compliment. My best friend's MIL is tells her what a great job she does with the children all the time.
Btw, you are an AMAZING cook, and you have an uncanny ability to welcome everyone and make everyone feel at home and cared for--I know this from when you insisted we all stay for lunch a couple of Xmases ago, even though you hadn't planned anything and we took up a lot of space. You have a real gift. Hugs!
Chores. Kids get what only Mom can do best, make the best antipasti platter with pepperoncini, red peppers, and other Italian goodies -- if you kids keep the house straight. That goes for the man of this big house, too.
Just riding through, Adios ma'am, from the W-Bar-E Ranch.
Yeah. You might just tell everyone next year, that it's their turn to make everything special and see how that goes over...
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