HAPPY TO BE FROM IOWA

Did you know . . . .

2012-01-22T09:55:00.001-08:00

Someone here had a birthday last week????????

Poor Design

2012-01-20T16:04:00.000-08:00

Today at work, I saw a maintenance guy cleaning out the drip tray on the ice machine. He was chuckling to himself. So of course being the busy-body Gladys Kravitz that I am I asked what was so funny. He pointed out that the drain for the tray was 1/4" above the bottom, therefore meaning that 1/4" inch of water will ALWAYS be standing in the tray.

So all present started sharing stories of poor design.

One woman said the brand-new ball field of her town had to be redone. The contractor had somehow made a hill in the outfield that made it impossible to see home plate.

I recalled a Subway restaurant at home that installed a wheelchair ramp. The skinny ramp, with a rail, ran up to a small stoop. Then the door opened out, toward the ramp, and covered the entire stoop.

Carleton College would like everyone to forget their giant sidewalk penis. They spent a lot of $$$ to make it disappear, but thanks to the inner-webs it will live forever.

Our local hospital had a brand-new sculpture installed in their brand-new lobby. But it quickly become dangerous. Seems everyone was clunking their head on it. They finally installed a planter ring around the bottom after a physician got a concussion.

Anyone have a better story??

Remember that Bailey's I mentioned?

2011-12-31T16:45:00.000-08:00

One of the best recipes at my house this Christmas had to be the homemade Bailey's. My mother-in-law liked it a LOT! So much she didn't notice the dust bunnies.

I've finally caught up to what the rest of the world has known for centuries. Alcohol sometimes HELPS family gatherings! My siblings and I found out much too late in our lives that a good Tom Collins or Old Fashioned smoothed our Dad right out. That could have saved a lot of angst during our teen years.

Anyway, here is the best recipe EVER for homemade Bailey's.

You're welcome and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

3 eggs (I used Egg Beaters)

1 can sweetened condensed milk

1 pint whipping cream (I used 1/2 whipping cream and 1/2 half-n-half. Next time I might try to go even lighter with some whole milk)

1 cup whiskey or brandy ( I used 3/4 c. brandy)

2 TBSP choc syrup ( I used Hersheys and doubled it to 4-5 TBSP)

1/3 c light rum

1 tsp vanilla

Mix in blender or just shake it really well.

Humbug. I need a Baileys.

2011-12-24T12:52:00.000-08:00

I sure wish my parents were alive. I want to look at them, well mostly Mom, with the frustration and exasperation of the holidays with teens, and for her to tell me it's perfectly normal. Every year I have this fantasy that it'll be all wonderful, with music on the stereo, and all of us happily cleaning and futzing and generally getting ready for the holiday. The reality is that my kids and husband just don't see the mess like I do. Bad? Wrong? Who's to decide. I think the difference is that when my in laws come, they won't notice how messy the family is, they'll notice how messy I let the house become.

It's always the Mom's fault. Even though the Mom works full time. We've still got a long way to go baby.

And once I'd like to hear a thank you from anyone here about the food I made. Yesterday I created cranberry cocktail meatballs, spinach balls, baked brie, a bleu cheese ball, etc. And I have 5 days of menus planned for 11 people to prepare in my "kitchenette". And today all I get is tsk tsk's because I didn't make an antipasti platter with pepperoncini, red peppers, and other Italian things.

If any of you out there still have your Mom, and she made anything, literally anything, for you at Christmas; or she made sure there was something under the tree for you; or she made the holidays merry even in simple little ways, do me a favor - go thank her profusely. Tell her how much you appreciate every little gesture.

You Can't Have Too Many Cookies

2011-12-18T06:43:00.000-08:00

COOKIE DAY 2011 was all by myself. I'm just too busy this season to join up with my dear friend MG for our annual gig. Instead I had a sugar frenzy in the kitchen between laundry loads. I also managed to clean out the frig and freezer. You see I have 6 extra Italians coming for Christmas, including 4 actual adults. And that's going to require some frig space. The mud room and deck will be my cold food back up. And of course I don't want my mother-in-law to see all the food I've let get moldy.

Every year I try out some new recipes. This year I made lemon-pistachio refrigerator cookies. For you non-bakers that means you roll the dough into a tube about 1.5 inches across, slice it, and bake. This recipe was underwhelming. Not enough sugar. Kinda tastes like play-dough.

Next up was Mexican Chocolate refrigerator cookies. These lovelies were dark chocolate with a hint of cayenne pepper and cinnamon.

Also made the ubiquitous pretzel-and-candy thingies, and some sugar cookies.

But the hit has to be the Mocha Chewies. Amazing. Packs a luscious chocolate/coffee hit. And they are so easy I'm afraid to admit it.

MOCHA CHEWIES
1/2 c evaporated milk
1T. instant coffee (I would just a bit more)
1 c. dark chocolate pieces (get the good stuff)
1 c. marshmallow creme
1 15oz pkg Oreos or something similar, finely crushed
1 c. powdered sugar
1 c. chopped nuts (I use pecans)
1 c. semi sweet chocolate chips
1/3 c. whipping cream

Lightly grease a 9x9 inch pan. In a small sauce pan heat evap milk and coffee over low heat, stirring until coffee is dissolved. Add the dark choc and mm creme. Cook and stir until melted and smooth. Remove from heat. In a large bowl combine crushed cookies and powdered sugar. Add melted chocolate mix to cookie mix and stir until combined. REALLY combined. Stir in nuts. Spoon into the prepared pan and spread evenly to the edges.
In a micro safe bowl combine the chocolate chips and cream. Micro until barely melted. Stir smooth and fully melted. Pour over mix in the pan, spreading into an even layer. Chill about 1 hour or until set.
Cut into tiny bars, about 3/4" x 3/4". They are intense!

This is the magazine photo, but mine are just as pretty.

The aftermath

NOT a holiday movie, but an important one

2011-12-12T20:45:00.000-08:00

I gave up Netflix to save money, so had to watch our last 2 DVD's before they charge me for them. I hate Netflix.

Anyway, one was The Magdalene Sisters. I'm so overwrought now I have to post or go mad. This is based on the very real treatment of "fallen" women in Catholic Ireland. While women in America were waking up to their own freedoms and liberation, teenage girls in Ireland who dared to wink at a boy, or were the victims of rape, or any other "crime" involving sex were locked away by the church in these Magdalene Asylums. There under violent, cruel, and humiliating circumstances they were expected to spend the rest of their lives seeking penance for their sins.

THIS is what happens to women when religion runs the show. THIS is what happens when men think they somehow get a free ticket to oppress women. THIS is what happens when weak women buy into the whole man-of-the-cloth bullshit. THIS is what happens when an entire society represses all forms of sexuality and looks to some absent god as a replacement.

As the last chords of the movie died away, I wanted to pull my sleeping girls from the beds. I wanted to hold them close and tell them to let no man or god deem them trash. I wanted to line up all women, hike up our skirts, and wag them lady parts at society Braveheart style screaming "THIS is part of our bodies! And what happens there is OUR story. This is OUR property! THIS is our RIGHT!"

I'm losing it

2011-12-11T13:24:00.000-08:00

I must be getting senile. I find myself wanting the strangest things lately.

Like a white Christmas tree.

And a belgian waffle maker.

And a Keurig coffee maker.

And a winning lottery ticket.

Look what we made . . . . literally

2011-12-10T18:32:00.001-08:00

Holly Frame Christmas Card

Make unique Christmas cards this year at Shutterfly.com.

View the entire collection of cards.

Holiday Coleslaw

2011-11-27T16:30:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was a blast - literally. As you know my family is a bit, well, back-woods. Educated backwoods, but we still proudly carry our white trash genes. So of course Thanksgiving near some open fields means get out the shot guns and clay pigeons cuz dinner's over and it's SHOOTIN TIME! My first time ever shooting off something larger than a BB gun, and I hit 3/3! I myself uttered "We need more ammo!".

To the feast I added the veggie tray, coleslaw, and red velvet cake. The coleslaw was a huge hit and everyone wanted the recipe so I've posted it below. The magazine photo made it look a lot more red and green, but it was mighty tasty.

MNMOM'S HOLIDAY COLESLAW

6 cups thinly sliced green cabbage
2 cups thinly sliced red cabbage
1/4 red onion, thinly sliced
1/4 c sugar
3/4 c buttermilk
1/2 c mayo
1/4 c lemon juice
1/2 c dried cranberries
1/2 c pistachio nuts, chopped
2 clementines or tangerines, peeled, divided into segments, and chopped
S&P to taste

Combine cabbages and onion in a large bowl.
Mix sugar, buttermilk, mayo, and lemon juice in a small bowl until smooth. Pour the buttermilk mix over the vegetables and toss to coat. Fold in the cranberries, nuts and clementines. Season with S&P. Let stand for at least 1 hour or refrigerate for up to 8 hours before serving.

Gloria In Excelsis Cookies

2011-11-17T18:38:00.000-08:00

My local pal and unauthorized co-blogger Mama in Wonderland was musing on Christmas Cookies today. Like her, I believe that at the Holidays, baking truly unnecessary amounts of cookies is obligatory. I can't eat them all but I sure like baking them. What would the Santa Season be with my annual Cookie Day with the fabulous MG? Or my cookie exchange with fellow bloggers, or my book club?

At our house, the twins are exiting the jaded teen "I don't care about Christmas Traditions" years just as cupcake is entering it. Cupcake has always been my cookie partner - we'll see how it all shakes out this year. But the cookies WILL be made! Give them to friends who don't bake - they'll stay on your good side year 'round to keep that gift coming.

From Four Midwestern Sisters' Christmas Book by Holly J. Burkhalter
"More than any other holiday food, Christmas cookies hurtle you straight back to your childhood. Everything else may have changed, but Christmas cookies still taste exactly the way they did when you were five.
We happen to think that cookies are the staff of life, all year round. But at Christmas they are much, much more. Their once-a-year specialness is what sets the holidays apart and remind you of Mom, and Grandma, and all the cookie bakers who have loved you. They turn the kitchen into the center of the universe and pull us in like a magnet."

A Freebie for You!

2011-11-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

My second ever giveaway, and just in time for the Holidays! I love sharing freebies with my good friends.

Some of you may recall last year’s holiday card from the Family C. Because of this wonderful blog, I was able to garner 50 free cards from Shutterfly.com and therefore greatly expand our card list. We’ve been using Shutterfly for about 10 years now, and we’re dedicated customers. They have NEVER let us down! They are cheap, fast, and send the envelopes too. And you know I am ALL ABOUT THE CHEAP!

Every single year, their selection of cards expands. We have a blast fitting different photos into all their combinations. They really have something for everyone. Traditional, classic, cutesy, artsy, you name it. And they make about any card/announcement you can think of: Christmas cards, holiday cards, birth announcements, photos books, etc. We plan to use them for invitations this spring when the twins graduate.

And this year YOU can get in on the action! I have promotion codes for the first three who jump at them. They are good for 25 free cards at Shutterfly.com. Just say the word! The first three folks are the winners. We'll figure out a way to get you the code without leaving your email in the comments.

NONE of these are our photos, just examples from the website:

The Scariest Halloween Story EVER!

2011-10-29T14:23:00.000-07:00

There was a cruel group of rich guys. They bought up all the politicians, and got all the rules to go their way.

They lined their pockets with obscene amounts of money. Then they invented completely bogus financial phantoms called credit default swaps and collateralized debt obligations. Things so flimsy even your spell checker doesn't recognized them. They made millions off them while draining pensions.

They took all their power and money, and together with the politicians, stole millions of dollars from taxpayers and forced thousands of hardworking Americans out of their homes.

Then they shipped all the jobs overseas so Americans couldn't work.

Then they lowered taxes on themselves, busted up the unions, and feasted on the flesh of the population.

The end.

Take a memo

2011-10-25T15:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Teabaggers,
You are being sorely used by the wealthy. Read the book "The Best of Enemies" by Osha Gray Davidson. Find out who your real enemies are.

Dear State of Minnesota Legislature,
Get your act together and start funding public education. Get your minds off a Vikings Stadium until your constituents have jobs and your schools are humming along.

Dear Cub Foods,
If ALDI can sell produce at amazingly low prices, why can't you? It's not like you have the added expense of baggers or a drive up. What gives?

Dear Current Employer
Thanks so much for the healthcare, dental care, low lunch prices, good food, free coffee, and full access to the office supply catalog. After 3 years at a public school with a budget crisis, you have no idea how much I appreciate this.

Dear University of Iowa,
Please cough up all the money you can so my twins will go there.

Dear Coca-cola on ice,

Why do you have to be so darned delicious? WHY?!

Dear Winter,
Please try to show a bit more restraint this year. Snow is lovely but not 2-3 feet at a time. And anything below zero is just showing off.

Dear Neighbors,
While I enjoy music as much as the next person, I don't want to hear YOUR selections blasting from your garage every weekend.

Dear Aging Process,
I really don't need the likes of you around here. You're nothing but a pest and a horrible inconvenience. You run up my medical bills and make me look horrid in photos. Be gone.

Dear Shin Splints,
You and your partner Aging Process are really getting on my nerves. I'm trying to run a successful life here and you are foiling my plans. Go bother someone else.

Dear Goodreads.com
Thanks for finally giving me a great place to keep my list of "to-reads". And not only that, but letting see what's on everyone else's list. You rock!

Dear Halloween,
I love ya, you big ham!!

Same Ole Saturday Night

2011-10-22T18:26:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting here, eating a giant bowl of no-added-sugar-low-fat mint chocolate chip ice cream, when Youngest reminds me that it's still not quite a healthy snack. Especially not in the portion size I was stuffing in my face. And ESPECIALLY after a filling supper of chicken cutlets, steamed veggies, and homemade bread. Have you tried this yet? It's incredible. I've been making lovely crusty Italian loaves and sweet rolls.

And so goes another Saturday night in my life. Johnny C is downstairs watching USC. Twin #1 at work slapping pizzas in front of hundreds of hungry souls. Twin #2 is at a movie after spending all morning taking the ACT. Youngest and I are going to watch a movie at home.

New Job is going quite well. Learning the world of health care has been eye-opening. I was reading through online forms and was fascinated by the clean up procedure for cytotoxic chemotherapy drugs. Then I started to get worried cuz I've NEVER remember this stuff! Thankfully I realized I to don't have to, just before a very ill-timed and wholly unnecessary nervous breakdown.

This is the first moment in about 2 weeks that I've had the computer to myself. That explains the lack of blogging. Well, that and Facebook and this. Like I really needed another online time suck. It's also been soccer season, with Twin #2's team going all the way to the last sectional game. Twin #1 is playing Maria in the high school's West Side Story. So starting tomorrow I head into Drama Mama assignments. We are caught the TEH BUSY and can't get out!

What's new with you my darlings? I've missed you all so much.

I was a weird kid

2011-09-28T11:03:00.000-07:00

My parents had this groovy stereo - like the one pictured. They were music lovers and had all manner of LP's - Herb Alpert, Marian Anderson, classical, musicals, etc. I spent many hours laying on the carpet between the stereo and the wall, listening. I can still smell it - the hot dust of the stereo and my dog next to me.

Once I had a dream that the neighbors' TV was visible through their roof furnace vent. They were watching I Love Lucy. I looked for that screen for many years after that.

I used to think women just "got" pregnant - like catching a cold.

My sister and I used to pretend we could speak a foreign language - we'd "talk" that way for hours.

To this day, I swear a cat's eye marble squeaked at me when I was 5.

I used the think the turning signal, or the "cull-tinker" as we called it, was a homing device, letting us know we were rounding the corner for home.

In one rental house, we had this weird linen closet that started about 3 feet off the ground. I used to climb up in there because I just liked the smell.

During one late-night trip to the bathroom in that house, I convinced my 5-year-old self that The Incredible Hulk was waiting down the hallway to jump me. I yelled for my Mom, until she came stumbling from a sound sleep. I couldn't admit the truth, so I told her I just thought it was nice to walk together.

When I would yell for my parents in the night I would start softly "mom?, mom?" and soon crescendo to "MOM!". Somehow it seemed better to start quietly.

Shower Observations

2011-09-23T23:49:00.000-07:00

Once in a while I have to put my contacts in before I shower. That way I can see how much it needs cleaning.

I kinda like that burning feeling when your feet are cold and you jump into a hot shower.

I can slather kisses on my husband, but step on one of his hairs in the tub? Ewwwww GROSS!

Why can't someone make a shampoo/soap bracket for the shower that actually holds the soap in place, no matter how thin it gets?

Minnesota has some serious hard water issues. It's like bathing in chalk sometimes.

Why do I always think I hear the phone, the door, or someone calling me while the water is running?

When my hair is wet and towel dried I slightly resemble Larry from the 3 Stooges. But without the bald spot.

Teen girls can drain a hot water tank in under 15 minutes.

Giant cheap bottles of shampoo from Costco do not fit on the average tub edge.

The difference between warm and scalding on our shower handle is about 1/150th of an inch.

Aren't you glad you used Dial? Don't you wish everybody did?

News

2011-09-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

First, the good news.
I have a new job! I'm not the Volunteer Coordinator for the District One Hospital in Faribault MN. Part time WITH benefits! My job at the schools was slashed to almost nothing, but I'm keeping those hours too.

Now the whining.
In the meantime this neo-poverty is really taking it's toll. My little family has kept its collective chin up through it all, but the strain is starting to really show. We all thought this would be a temporary set back, but it's become our reality.

If I hear one more conservative say the poor have it good, or that we LIKE it this way, or that we somehow DESERVE this, I'm going to go postal.

9.11.01

2011-09-10T07:48:00.000-07:00

The 10th anniversary of 9/11, and what have we learned?

Did we learn that violence and war beget more violence and war? Or did we learn that peace and constructive assistance create more of the same.

Did we learn that our dependence on foreign oil creates dangerous partnerships? Or did we challenge ourselves to pursue energy independence.

Did we learn that the extremely wealthy and powerful Americans are in bed with the Saudi royal family? Or did we turn our backs on that inconvenient truth.

Did we learn not to swallow the "official" version of events hook, line, and sinker? Or did we ask the tough questions and demand answers.

Did we realize we have just suffered what others countries have been dealing with for decades? Or did we wallow in our grief to the point of jingoism.

Did we learn the lessons of shared community? Or did we phone in death threats to anyone with an Arab name or wearing a Sikh head covering.

Did we learn that America is only one small nation on this giant planet? Or did we continue with our "We're No.1!" chants.

What have we learned?

Songs to hate me by #7

2011-08-30T20:57:00.000-07:00

I was oddly fascinated by the song and video in the 80's. There was just something about that guy - I couldn't take me eyes off him. Didn't know if I was attracted, repulsed, or whatever. Maybe I just envied that hair and wardrobe. Oh Baby shake that finger at me!

Cruel Vegetable Summer

2011-08-23T10:54:00.000-07:00

Been a very weird summer for my garden.

Evidently we are experiencing blossom drop. Our weird wet Spring which launched immediately into high heat and humidity means we have lush tomato bushes, but hardly any fruit. And they fruit that DID show up is still inexplicably green.

Rabbits ate all my spinach, lettuce, and beet tops in June. After we fixed the fence they just never recovered. I replanted in July but they were a bust.

The peas that were supposed to be climbing the corn never showed. The squash plants grew lovely foliage but no fruit.

The beans are climbing but I have yet to see any pods.

The corn stalks commit suicide each week, and one of them just breaks off.

The onions however seem to be just fine. So it'll be a Fall of French Onion Soup. Good thing we don't really depend on the garden for survival.

Still hoping to get some raspberry and peach jam made. Summer's not over yet, right? RIGHT?!

Healing Me

2011-08-18T11:58:00.000-07:00

So remember I said I needed to get healthy? Here's what I did with your advice.

1. I've tried to eat as little white sugar as possible.

2. I've tried to eat a minimum of 5 servings of fruit and vegetable a day. Four of those I get in my daily Green Monster fruit smoothie

3. I've been walking 30-60 minutes everyday. Even today, when a sinus infection has me feeling like crud, I still walked over an hour to get my medication.

The results have been slow, but they ARE there. My clothes are loose and my knees don't ache like usual.

Just thought you'd like to know.

Put THIS in your blender and drink it:
GREEN MONSTER
In the blender put
1 banana
a handful of blueberries & strawberries or any other fruit you have handy. Frozen is fine.
a handful of fresh spinach - trust me you won't taste it.
a serving of vanilla whey protein powder
1/2 cup milk or soy milk or almond milk
4-5 ice cubes

Songs to hate me by #6

2011-08-15T20:01:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd forgotten this series?
I freakin LOVED this song when I was a kid. That's just how I roll.

Skunked

2011-08-14T20:15:00.000-07:00

President Obama will be speaking 15 minutes away tomorrow in a very small Minnesota town. Today the advance team was passing out 500 tickets for the event. Johnny C and I headed out on the chance we could snag a couple.

I don't use this phrase often but what a CF. There were about 800 people already in line, many who had been there since 2:30am. The local police department was trying to keep things organized. The tiny town had been told only Wednesday this was happening.

People were calm and easygoing, but as the sun beat down and the temps climbed and STILL the line hadn't moved it was clear something was very wrong. For some unfathomable reason they let over 900 people stand in the midday sun, near heatstroke, knowing they had only enough tickets for half of them.

Thankfully they arranged for portable bathrooms, but that was the only nod to actual human comfort. Some enterprising locals were selling water for $2 a bottle.

After sweltering for over 3 hours, and holding pass #835 and #852 we decided to bail. It was ultimately a good decision. After 3pm they finally turned away over 900 folks.

But we gave it a good try and I have the sunburn to prove it.

Squished Again

2011-08-04T14:37:00.000-07:00

So like Whiskeymarie, last year I had to interview for my own job. And like her, I got it back and thoroughly enjoyed it. I mean I really REALLY like this job. However today I've been told it's being hacked into several pieces none of which is benefits eligible.

So it's back to job searching. Perhaps I can find something part-time and mix it with the jumble of shattered pieces that used to be my job. I would really like to be reasonably well-employed, and not have to hold my breath all year long while budgets and decision are hammered out. Too much to ask I guess.

Not much, you?

2011-08-03T21:01:00.000-07:00

Even with my work-deprived summer I still don't find time to blog. So here are tidbits to munch on.

1. Best description of the latest federal budget I've read - "A sugar-coated Satan sandwich".

2. About 2 weeks ago I started my own version of a low-sugar weight loss program. So far amazingly good. Been eating lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. Avoiding all desserts, chips, fast food, etc. I gave up soda last year. It's been surprisingly simple, and I have a lot more energy.

3. Been musing on the spiritual gifts of our new austere lifestyle; I appreciate every little thing I have. I've grown less focused on material things, I've learned to quit worrying about the future and focus on the day at hand. More on that later.

4. On the flip side I get very frustrated when dumb-as-dirt idiots like the cast of Jersey Shore are rolling in it, while folks like Johnny C and I can't catch a break.

5. Been reading some GREAT books. Friend me on goodreads.com and see what I've been up to.

6. The garden has been a patchwork of failure and success. The lettuce, spinach, and beet tops were all eaten away by rabbits. However the tomatoes, pumpkins, squash, onions, zinnias, and sunflowers are taking over. I also planted some late red beans, and so far so good. As long as our first frost stays away until October I might actually get a harvest.

7. When one of you lucky bastards wins the lottery, remember your friend Mnmom!

8. I really, really don't like the Republicans in power right now.

9. I want to ease the stress and sadness in my husband's eyes. For his sake and a million other reasons I wish his family lived closer.

10. Did Iowa, Wisconsin, and southern Canada send all their mosquitoes to Minnesota this year? They are KILLING me!

Jam Session

2011-07-18T14:57:00.000-07:00

So I finally got started on Canning Season 2011! After a trip to Costco I had a giant-sized flat of big juicy ripe strawberries. And as you canners and jammers know, with produce you have to get right to work.

So on probably the freaking hottest possible day of the year, Cupcake and I put up a batch of strawberry jam. We use the low-sugar recipe. Not really for health reasons, although less white sugar should be my goal if you know what I mean. But mostly because wonderful ripe summer fruit doesn't really need all that sugar.

So in my vintage apron we got to work. Cupcake mentioned that I looked just like some 1940's Mom jarring up the garden bounty. I mused that the big difference was I was cooking on electricity inside my air-conditioned home, not sweating over a cook stove in a 110+ degree kitchen. However, remember my musings on summer kitchens? I really want one now. It would be my escape. My house has what my sisters and I call a "one-butt-kitchen". Our unit of measure is our own hereditary ample rear ends. I actually have more like a "1/2 butt kitchen". So a project like canning takes good planning, iced tea, and cold air pouring out of the floor vents.

Now that I've proven my prowess with canning, I think I'm ready to buy a big 'ol pot that will hold lots of jars, not just 4-5 jam sizers.

Watch for later developments as I make raspberry jam, peach butter, salsa jam, and tomato sauce!

Also - the neighbors told me I can help myself to their apple tree in the Fall so Apple Butter coming our way!

Quesadillas reprise

2011-07-15T21:35:00.000-07:00

Every so often I have an "Oh DOY!" moment. Oh who am I kidding, it happens to me all the time. That moment when you realize you've been doing it the HARD way when the EASY way was right in front of you.

(Image courtesy of internet)

I'm a mentor, and my "mentee" is a wonderful Latina middle schooler who shares my love of cooking. Her specialty is quesadillas. So today we picked up some ingredients and using my leftover grilled chicken we made lunch for my daughters. I set up my griddle then watched her magic.

Here's her simple method:

Get the griddle heated.

Lightly butter BOTH sides of a flour tortilla. Warm both sides on the griddle.

Put the filling on one half of the tortilla - we used a Mexican shredded cheese blend and sliced grilled chicken. She likes to use ham.

Turn half the tortilla over onto the filling, like a calzone, and crimp the edges shut with your spatula end.

Keep grilling and flipping until the outsides are nicely crisped.

So DOY! I had been doing the ridiculous method of trying to fill two tortillas at a time, like a giant round sandwich, and attempting to flip that. Of course every flip resulted in a grill covered with loose cheese and meat. Never too old to learn I guess.

Sticky Situation

2011-07-12T16:58:00.000-07:00

It's time to make jam - and I'm damn jam good at it!
Homemade low-sugar jam is not only much tastier than store-bought, but it's easier on our budget in the long run.
But what do you do when you don't have the cash to resupply your canning supplies AND buy the large quantities of sugar and berries? I need a farm or a micro-loan!

Summer so far

2011-07-07T08:01:00.000-07:00

Watch my summer unfold over here.

Meanwhile, feeling so mad and depressed I could spit nails or curl into the fetal position. My hours have been cut yet again because the GOP thinks protecting the rich is more important than my job. At our public school I match kids with college and parent tutors - 3 of them "graduated" to the honor roll! I also work with a mentoring program. Paying me to do this through school funding and govt grants is dirt cheap for taxpayers. It helps these kids finish school and have some hopes for a decent job someday, maybe even home ownership, which turns them into taxpayers. I'd say it's a darned good return on our investment.

Oh you know where I'm going with all this. I'm just disgusted with our voting populace right now. Listen to Fox "News" and Rush Limbaugh and believe all the lies and fear they spew - then vote against your country's strength and rip out it's heart. The rich will always survive much more comfortably than the rest of us proletariat. But the wealthy media moguls have perfectly calmed the hordes who should be carrying pitchforks and demanding their heads on a platter.

Our country is only as strong as our working class. They are our canary-in-a-coal mine. If the extreme lower middle class can buy a car every now and then, take a few car trips, buy a fishing boat or TV, that will keep us humming. The rich don't need any one's help! But somehow they've convinced the huddled masses that government services are evil. Even those folks standing squarely in the MIDDLE of govt services believe it!

All kinds of folks are crying in the streets over Casey Anthony (which we should - I'm not heartless). But right now, RIGHT NOW, children and fragile elderly are being hurt, abused, and starved because of program cuts or state shut-downs and there is no public outcry.

We should be collectively ramming down the doors of Congress and statehouses right now, demanding fully funded programs for the lower and middle class. We should also be demanding a restoration of taxes on the wealthy. But we're all too busy with our 2nd and 3rd jobs, or hanging on the phone haggling with our health insurance company. And that's just they way "they" want it.

Disgusted - that's me right now

Blocked

2011-06-23T13:37:00.000-07:00

Still here. My blogging seems to have hit the proverbial writer's block. I always think of really great posts when my head hits the pillow at night. But folks I'm just too lazy to get up and do something about it. So for now I'll just share some of my favorite music. Best.Comment.Ever was left under this one "Jesus Christ I think I just lost my virginity!".

Summer ABC's

2011-06-19T19:36:00.000-07:00

Follow the summer exploits of youngest and her mother (me!) while we do the ABC's of summer.

See it all unfold here.

Kids! Heed my warning

2011-06-17T17:32:00.000-07:00

This is an open letter to all those teens in a hurry to grow up.

Kids - being an adult looks like heaven, doesn't it? You can boss the other kids around. You can eat whatever you want. Go to bed when you want. Have a little card that magically pays for everything.

But here's what they don't tell you:

1. You'll spend most of your adult life on the phone with either your insurance agency or tech support for your cable company.
2. You can't eat whatever you want after all, because being an adult means you've developed heartburn.
3. Adults WANT to stay up and at least see the weather report, but we can't keep our eyes open past 9:30pm.
4. Housework - they don't mention this, or how one day you'll find yourself on your knees scraping melted bits of effluvium from the kitchen floor. And that toilet won't clean itself!
5. All that money you get from your job? It's already been spent on the car and household appliances.
6. If you're lucky, your acne will stick around well into middle age.
7. You gain 10lbs overnight every 6 months.

Stay Tuned for Station Identification

2011-06-14T18:18:00.000-07:00

I haven't forgotten you my friends. Just very busy, In the meantime, enjoy an old favorite of mine.

My Sarah Palin theory

2011-06-07T21:08:00.000-07:00

You just can't make this stuff up.

See the clip here.

This vacuous woman is the new definition of stupid. And she's not even aware how stupid she is. I'm embarrassed FOR her!
But here's my serious theory on her popularity.
It's ALL her looks. All of it. Women are still judged on their appearance, and it totally trumps anything they have to say.

Men want her to wink at them, men want to think she'd date them. Women want her to smile at them. Women want to be her BFF. Of course I don't mean all men and women, but you know folks who meet this definition.

Imagine of she looked like Bella Abzug?
Imagine of she looked like Billie Jean King?
What if she looked like Barbara Bush?
What if she had giant cankles and bad skin?
Think she'd get away with claiming Paul Revere rode through town with gun shots and bells to protect our 2nd amendment rights?
Would the press be salivating and crawling all over themselves to get a photo?

There just can't be any other explanation. It's just like High School. A girl can be a total ass right down to her skanky little heart, but if she's hot she can get away with murder.

The conservative mind

2011-06-01T09:33:00.000-07:00

So now it seems science has discovered the reasons for liberal vs. conservative thinking. Read articles here or here.

To paraphrase: "The brains of people who call themselves liberals tend to have larger anterior cingulate cortexes than the brains of people on the opposite side of the political spectrum, the study showed. The anterior cingulate cortex is a collar-shaped region around the corpus collosum, a structure that relays signals between the right and left hemispheres of the brain.

What about conservatives? Their brains tend to have larger amygdalas. The amygdala is an almond-shaped structure located deep within the brain.
Based upon what brain scientists know about the function of the two brain regions, researchers believe the structural differences support the notion that liberals are better equipped to make sense of conflicting information while conservatives are better able to recognize a threat.

So what does this mean?
I think it clearly explains why simple facts won't work on conservatives. They see or hear something, label it a threat, act on those impulses, and make decisions accordingly.

So I think we have to meet them where they are. We have to approach subjects such as gay marriage, environmentalism, military budget cuts, reproductive rights, etc. and promote the inherent safety of these ideas. We have to help them see there is nothing to fear. We have to neutralize the threat so they can think more clearly.

What do you think?

Heal Me

2011-05-23T22:40:00.000-07:00

This whole kidney stone/surgery thing has opened my eyes to a giant fact: I need to get serious about my long-term health. I can't blame anything in my lifestyle for this stone, but the medical on-goings have made me realize how many OTHER trials are ahead if I don't make some permanent changes.

I want to break bad habits and replace them with something better. I need to lose a lot of weight. I need to have a consistent exercise plan. I need to eat well all the time, not just occasionally.

I want to grow old but healthy. I want to watch my kids suffer at the hands of THEIR teenagers.

And here's where YOU come in!

Starting with this post, I'm going to ask for good suggestions. I want YOU to tell me which habit to break or add. I need these changes broken down into easy-to-incorporate actions that are measurable. IE - "four servings of fruit/vegetables a day" rather than "eat better".

I'll choose one suggestion and get to work.

Every 3-4 weeks I'll let you know how it went, then ask for another one. This way each good suggestion will become a new habit, and I'll just BUILD my way to better health.

Are in you? Ok, then, let's heal Mnmom!

Before/After

2011-05-21T12:57:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm the before; laying around with this stupid kidney stone, taking so much medication I'm useless, and waiting for Monday's surgery. But After? I'll tell you what I'll do after - when I return to the Land of the Living!

1. Get my grill on! Can't wait to start cooking again.
2. Get my garden planted. I lost the window for onions, but the rest should be OK.
3. Clean out my room. Our bedroom has become the family dumping ground. Time to purge.
4. Get up to the State Capitol and show my support for Marriage Equality.
5. Walk, and walk, and walk. Don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or what but I'm out of breath in my own home and it's NOT a good feeling.
6. Get the dutch oven out and have some campfire meals.
7. Start riding my bike.

Still stoned with strawberry salad

2011-05-17T13:12:00.000-07:00

The blasted kidney stone refuses to budge, and now I'll be having surgery sometime next week.

In the meantime I'm indulging in one of my favorite comfort foods; Frozen Strawberry Salad.

Here in the Midwest, we have these delicious combinations of fruit, cool whip, cream cheese, nuts, etc and we call them "salads". And with a straight face no less. If you attend a midwestern small town funeral, you'll see all manner of them on the "salad" table. Their only resemblance to anything truly salad-y is that they do contain fruit, and they come in a bowl. But they are mighty powerful in the comfort department.

STRAWBERRY SALAD

8oz cream cheese - I used low fat
1/2 cup sugar
20oz can crushed pineapple, very well drained
2 ripe bananas, mashed
1/2 cup nuts - I used pecans
10oz frozen strawberries, thawed
Cool Whip - about 2 cups

Cream sugar and cream cheese. Add pineapple, bananas, and berries. Stir in nuts. Fold in Cool Whip. Freeze in a 9x9 pan. Remove from the freezer 20-30 minutes before servings. Or pop it in the microwave on low power for a few minutes. I love it when it's kind of half frozen.

Slawed

2011-05-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

I made some fantastic slaw today and it seemed appropriate to share. Still haven't passed that @#$&*#* kidney stone, so I'm still on drugs. Therefore this slaw's deliciousness might have been enhanced by my altered state. Drugs make everything better.

This is a great all-purpose slaw dressing. Next time I'm adding bacon, 'cuz bacon AND drugs make everything better.

Adapted from Smitten Kitchen

Dressing:
1/2 cup well shaken buttermilk.
2T. mayo
2T. cider vinegar
2T. minced shallot
1T. sugar
3T. minced chives (I used green onions from my garden)
1/2t. salt
1/4t. pepper

Slaw:
1 lb napa cabbage, cored and thinly sliced
6 radishes, diced (I'm going to skip these next time)
2 celery ribs, thinly sliced diagonally
I also added some shredded carrot.

Whisk together dressing ingredients until sugar dissolves. Toss with the slaw.

Stoned

2011-05-13T11:37:00.000-07:00

Will the wonders of my sick body never cease? Just when I'm recovering from the Mother of all Cruds, along comes a kidney stone. I spent Tuesday night in the hospital, now I'm home waiting and waiting and waiting for this thing to pass. Heavy narcotics mean I can't drive or do much else of significance either.

So in the meantime, enjoy some videos from my youtube favorites list. That's all you're going to get from me right now.

Happy Chicken Salad Day

2011-05-08T15:27:00.000-07:00

Darned nice Mother's Day - very quiet but swell.
Started with Cupcake and Johnny C bringing me breakfast in bed; pancakes, bacon, strawberries, and coffee. They also gave me a birdhouse that Cupcake had designed, built, and painted in beautiful shades of red and purple, and a flowered roof.

The twins had to work. One of them gave me a dinner out with her. I'll take it when I can actually speak again. The other says her gift is a secret.

Later FINALLY made a kick-ASS chicken salad. First I started with chicken breast I had poached to perfection; cooked in a water bath full of carrot, celery leaves, green onions from the garden, garlic pepper, and sea salt. Then chopped, and stirred with pecans, red grape halves, more green onion, tarragon, garlic pepper, mayo and more sea salt. It's almost gone that's how good it is.

I must be getting better - I wish it were Saturday so I had another day to garden and cook.
And to love my family.

Spring lasts about 2 days

2011-05-07T18:13:00.000-07:00

I've been down with the crud for a week!! Missed 5 days of work and to pour salt in a wound, our computer was in the shop all 5 days. Both the PC and I have a weird infection, The one in my body has whipped my asthma into a frenzy. I can't talk and get out of breath very easily.

Now today - the first really lovely day of spring that we've had - I could barely walk to the garden let alone work in it. I pulled some old stalks but gave up when I got light-headed. Creeping Charlie has taken over our beds, and it's going to take some work to get it out. The link mentions a method of applying borax, but it can't be used in vegetable gardens.

I have some absolutely lovely red and white onion sets, and garlic that need to go in right now. Also lettuce, herbs, spinach, carrots. In June I'm trying the "3 Sisters" - planting corn, squash, and pole beans together. The beans climb the corn, and the squash provides the "mulch". I'm also growing red beans along the fence.

Think I will add some hay bales - just to stretch my growing area. Can't wait to OWN my own yard again so I can plant the whole darned thing in edibles. I'd add raspberries, a plum tree, and maybe even blueberries.

And don't forget the chicken coop!

Goddess Help Me

2011-04-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

Bleh.
Someone come over here and turn my face to the sunshine, willya?

Sick and tired of being poor. Not that we were ever rich, but money was NEVER this tight. Just spent $60 filling the gas tank. There goes about 1/2 of my paycheck from job #2. The hardest part is telling my kids "no" for even reasonable requests. And watching my friends enjoying their still-solid incomes. OK, I admit it, I'm jealous.

(Goddess-of-my-better-nature says "But darling that means you HAVE jobs! And you HAVE healthy kids who need things. And you have friends!)

Looked at the calendar today. Between jobs #2 and #3 I can't go visit my family until sometime in June. And I need my peeps know what I mean? By the time I CAN go gas will probably be $5 a gallon.

(Goddess-of-my-better-nature says "Sweetie again that means you have employment. And you have an extended family you love. And you have a car!" )

Lately a friend has been rather rude to me, and for the life of me I can't figure out why. I've wracked my brain and just can't figure out what's gotten into their britches.

(Goddess-of-my-better-nature says "Honey, you know in you're heart that it's their issue. Like you said, you haven't done anything mean or with evil intentions. You can't control their perspective" )

This weather - AAARRRGGGHHH! Will the sun ever come back? Will it be warm enough to lounge in the grass? Will I ever find a free afternoon that actually does not contain rain or snow so I can plant my garden?

(Goddess-of-my-better-nature says "Love - remember the serenity prayer. Or move" )

This kitchen! I had apartments in college with bigger kitchens. Together the kitchen and dining space are about 10' x 10'. This has seriously cut into my cooking enjoyment and my ability to have friends over.

(Goddess-of-my-better-nature says "But you DO have a kitchen in a cute little house. It's warm and cozy and clean. Good friends will still want to come over and sit cheek-to-cheek" )

Ten Commandments LIVE!

2011-04-23T17:20:00.000-07:00

Last year I said I'd live blog the Ten Commandments. I got home after it started, so let's get right to work!

7:15pm I always thought Memnet could have totally taken Nefertiri if she'd tried.

7:32pm See those slaves? Get used to it if the Republicans have their way. "the never ending pit of toil and agony, and everywhere the lash of the taskmasters"

7:36pm Enter Vincent Price as John Boehner

7:30 "fellow straw stampers, it's time to talk Union!"

7:41 You're not my princess Nefertiri. We're an anarcho-communist commune!

7:49 Listen to the cry of slaves? I don't have to care! I'm rich!

7:52 And Edward G. Robinson as Joe Leiberman

7:54 Yul Brynner looks super cute in that pleated brown skirt.

8:08 I want giant drum rolls after every proclamation I make at home.

8:19 I swear I've never seen so many men stand with their feet so far apart.

8:22 I know it's Cecil B. DeMille and all, but couldn't they have edited out his denture's whistling?

8:23 I can only imagine that after making this movie, Charlton Heston immediately began his journey to insufferable ass.

8:24 Only a male writer imagines that when groups of women get together, they obsess about men.

8:26 Mrs. Munster was quite the looker!

8:36 New drinking game. Have a shot every time someone says "bondage"

8:52 Of course she can see the strange man in the rocks. She's the MOM! Husbands and kids can't find the butter in the frig unless it falls into their hands.

8:57 "Oh stop that groveling! If there's anything I can't stand it's groveling. It's like those miserable psalms, they're SO depressing"

9:07 He said "the kingdom of the most high" snicker snicker

9:08 Yul Brynner must have experienced some major chafing from his costumes

9:14 I gotta imagine there were quite a few guys in the cast who really enjoyed the leather-on-bare-chest look, the high heeled gold sandals, and the eyeliner.

9:26 "when darkness covers Egypt for 3 days, you'll listen to God, OR you'll remember you're in Minnesota"

9:43 When we were kids we simultaneously loved and feared that green hand of death.

9:49 That creepy kid with Moses on the night of passover. Isn't that the teen of Star Trek's "bonk-bonk on the head" fame?

9:58 Yeah sure they got everyone packed and ready to go the very next morning. Even had trumpeters lined up. It takes weeks to get my family organized for a day-long trip in the minivan.

10:17 I'm getting tired. We all know how it ends. With Yul Brynner demonstrating another dramatic gesture of defeat. And of course the Jews wandering the desert for 40 years without asking for directions. And Charlton dying his hair several shades whiter. Have a great Easter Sunday!

PS - wouldn't you love to get a hold of the blooper reel?

Another Theory

2011-04-20T11:28:00.000-07:00

Imagine this:

We have "the talk" and left vs right agrees to a national divorce.
We split the country into red or blue.

Blue states will include:
A high tax rate
Fully funded schools and higher education financial aid programs.
Universal Healthcare
A totally secular government
The right to unionize
Unemployment benefits
Social Security
Gay marriage
Reproductive rights

Red states will include:
A low tax rate
Vouchers for schools
Christianity as the sanctioned religion
Healthcare? Yer on yer own
Unions will be illegal
No unemployment benefits
Any Social Security funds will be privatized
No gay marriage
No reproductive rights

But mark my words - if this were to actually happen, people would be crawling all over each other to make sure they could live in a blue state. The red states would be populated by the KKK and the Westboro Baptist Church.

So why so folks VOTE that way?

Songs to hate me by #5 (I think!)

2011-04-18T21:57:00.000-07:00

Should have known me back in the early 80's. Cute little thing with a sassy Pat-Benatar-esque short hair cut. I could sing some mean harmony with this song. Probably made my roomies crazy I played it so much. Give me a whiff of White Shoulders and I'm there.

My theory

2011-04-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

I have this theory.

So we all agree that the uber rich ruling class and their political toys are hoarding cash, energy resources, land, etc as fast as their grubby little hands can manage. Do you suppose it's because they realize, better than the working and middle class, that oil production and therefore fossil fuels will soon dwindle and we'll be thrown into an economic tsunami that will make The Great Depression look like a parlor game?

I come to the garden alone . .

2011-04-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

I love that old hymn: "I come to the garden alone, when the dew is still on the roses . . "

Planting season is short and sweet in Minnesota. So it feels like a 3-day window to get a decent garden started. Johnny C built amazing raised beds last Spring and I'm itching to get them planted for season #2.

But each weekend fills up like a rain gauge in a monsoon, leaving me precious little time for gardening. The garden sits there begging me to put on the grubbies and dig. The weather is supposed to be COLD and yes SNOWY this Saturday. And it's prom, which means the whole family will be deeply involved in the twins expensive dress-up day.

Every year I dream of a large lot filled with raised beds, pots, trellises, etc like the one below. But we do pretty well in our small rented yard. This year I'm trying some succession planting, and one bed is dedicated to "the 3 Sisters" - putting corn, beans, and squash in the same hole and letting them grow together.

I've been intrigued by hay-bale planting, where you partially dig out the cut-end sides of a hay bale and plant in there. I may just add to my garden space with them.

The next big hurdle will be the mosquitoes - those buggers are determined to swarm and kill every human outside June - August. Up here we grow them big and aggressive. Too bad I can't teach them how to hoe and water.

Say You'll Come

2011-04-10T22:11:00.000-07:00

Someday soon, I plan to have a large wonderful vacation home someplace warm, and I'm going to fill the backyard with plenty of remodeled vintage campers, each with it's own little theme. And when you come to visit, you can have your pick.

Free Speech

2011-04-06T08:01:00.000-07:00

I've been musing on this Koran burning incident, and here are my two cents.

Free Speech is a cornerstone of our democracy. But free speech is often offensive, ugly, and seriously unpopular. It flares emotions and opens old wounds. It breaks hearts and starts riots. It divides families and enrages neighbors. But it must remain.

So this complete nut-job in Bumfuck Florida somehow gets himself a copy of the Muslim holy book. In what I can only describe as a mentally challenged tantrum for attention, he burns it on his property. The behavior is foul and disgusting, creepy and manipulative, dangerous and ignorant. But it must be protected. There I said it.

Based on the nut-job's tantrum, some equally unstable religious extremists go on a rampage and kill innocent people, lots of them. These zealots seem to me a great deal more dangerous than the Florida crackpot. Those folks chose that reaction.

Free speech does not mean the right to agree with each other. It means to right to voice your opinion, no matter how despicable others might find it. Don't we defend the right to burn the American flag? Don't we defend the right to give our leaders the finger? Remember the "free speech zones" established by the W Administration during his every public appearance?

We must defend free speech, even words we find vile and offensive. The rights we protect may be our own.

Solidarity in Wisconsin

2011-03-29T14:05:00.000-07:00

As you may recall (RECALL, get it?) I took one of my twins to Madison WI for a college visit. For me the purpose was twofold: 1. to visit the University of Wisconsin and 2. to expressed my solidarity with Wisconsin public workers. Their next step is to make sure their Supreme Court stays neutral. The incumbent David Prosser has stated that he'll be a nice complement to Scott Walker. Way to stay neutral there bud.

Above is the famous State Street.

While walking this funky avenue I took photos of several business windows:

Above is me, on the Capital grounds. I talked with several sign-carriers and thanked them for continuing the fight. One gave me the "SOLIDARITY" arm band I'm wearing. I wore it proudly for the rest of the day. We were there on a Sunday/Monday so the large crowds were gone. Evidently Saturday is action day.

Hawkeye vs Badger

2011-03-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

Sunday is our next round of college visits. Last Fall we took the twins to my alma mater - The University of Iowa.
This weekend we head to Madison to visit The University of Wisconsin. Can this Hawkeye survive a trip to Badger-land?

And yes, I'm planning to spend some time with a sign in the capital rotunda. Sign suggestions?

Let's Play a Game

2011-03-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

I say it's time for a game. Play along! I want to see your answers. Copy and paste onto your blog and let me know when you're done.
It's dreary and dull here - I really hate this time of year. Need some FUN!

1. Name one book that has really stuck with you.
For me that would be The Education of Little Tree. I still can't read it without crying.

2. Name one non-family adult who influenced you for the better.
My HS choir director Jim Sexter. He brought such emotion and spirituality to our music.

3. Name one really great thing about today's teens.
It seems that being gay or straight to them is absolutely NOT an issue.

4. If Barack Obama dropped out of the race today, who should be the Democratic nominee?
I would choose Senator Jim Webb from Virginia, but I guess he's not running for office again. He's far too sensible to deal with politics anymore.

5. What would YOU do about Libya?
First, I would pull out of Iraq and Afghanistan. THEN I would consider our actions. Seriously? 3 wars in 3 different countries???

6. The perfect Spring Vacation would be:
Anywhere warm with a pile of books, lots of drinks of every kind. Preferably right on the beach.

7. You win $50,000 to spend on your house. What do you do?
Put a down payment on a house of our own again

8. You win another $50,000 but you have to give it away. What do you do?
Give it to Habitat for Humanity, because home is everything.

9. Your worst guilty pleasure(s) is:
Twofold: 1. sleeping in. 2. Pepsi or coke over ice.

10. You HAVE to go back to school. What do you study/earn?
My teaching or school counseling license along with an MA. In social studies or ESL.

Gack

2011-03-18T10:54:00.000-07:00

Been an emotional couple of weeks, and I for one just want the world to hold it and take a deep breath.

My kids and I are utterly exhausted from the Rock-n-Roll Revival production. This is an amazing show put on every other year. I'm a volunteer and the twins have big parts. It's all good, but so time consuming. On top of that it's been a little wicked at work - with budget cuts looming my job my shrink.

My extended family also seems to be limping. Two relatives have had some serious health issues. Also some stupid emotional BS that I won't go into.

Add to that my sprained ankle after I fell on ice at work.

Then the world at large starts to unravel from it's already tattered state; tsunamis, nuclear meltdowns, union busting, handing over entire towns and cities to corporation, and our never-ending Minnesota winter. Crazy dictators killing their own people and the threat of yet another American war front.

Can't we all just chill out for a minute?

Goodbye America

2011-03-10T16:06:00.000-08:00

I'm just dumbfounded. America as we've known it is disappearing down the corporate drain. Michigan is going to hand over entire cities to corporations after dismantling democratically elected governments. Wisconsin has summarily dismissed workers rights with a brush of the hand.

Thanks a lot GOP/bagger voters. Thanks for wrapping up our freedoms and handing them over in a nicely decorated package. You allowed yourselves to be scared by the FOX bogey-man. They got you all convinced the liberals were coming to take your guns, you bibles, and put you all in reeducation camps. They got you all to bungle the words Socialist and Communist because they sounded so darned EVIL. They got you to see a terrorist in every Democrat you know.

So when we're all working slave hours for slave wages and being harassed by the corporate-owned "police", will you still blame us? When your weekends have disappeared will you blame Obama? When your corporate-owned drinking water comes out of the tap in brown chunks, will you rail against Keith Olberman? When your teenage daughter is ordered to "service" the corporate elite at their next BBQ will you point the finger at Hillary Clinton? But don't cry when no one comes to help you, because YOU created a world where there are no teachers, no social workers, no city council, no EPA.

You're going to be begging for a little "Obamacare" when you're sick and in pain but there is no more socialized medicine. Hell there won't even be commercial medicine available to you because you won't be making over $2 per hour. And there are 100 hungry desperate Americans waiting for you to croak and create a job opening.

But goddammit you sucked me and mine into this hell hole with you.

Missed You

2011-03-07T20:05:00.000-08:00

Have you missed me my darlings?

Well I'm right here growing ever fatter by the day. How can I be this busy and still be putting on pounds like some sedentary sloth? Pretty soon my poundage will just seep its way out of the car and slosh/roll its way to my office a good 10 feet ahead of me. I won't even need clothing because my body features will just meld into a gelatinous life form without any obvious structure. Except my mouth of course.

And don't you DARE bring up that McGriddle I had for breakfast. That was a once-every-six-months treat.

The healthy news is that I've almost completely given up pop - or as you Easterners call it "soda" or "co-cola" to the Southerners.

The strange news is I have a throbbing eyeball. Know when you get those weird annoying muscle twitches right around your eyelid? Well evidently I have one deep in my eye socket that's thumping on my eyeball - for real - this can only happen to me. It's been making my vision in one eye jump to the left with every heartbeat. Doc says it's stress. He's a genius. Anyway I told him that my life is a poster story for stress. So he wrote on his prescription pad "Give Mom a Break" and gave it to me. It's posted prominently on the frig.

So how is life without my blog posts? I'd blame it on my wicked schedule, but it really has more to do with sharing a computer with one working husband, two academically inclined teens, and a 6th grader who has found Disney shows online. The latter I can boot off with nary a second thought, but the first 3 have priority dibs that I have to honor.

So enough about me. How have you been?

Song to Hate Me By #4

2011-02-25T20:07:00.001-08:00

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I freakin love this song, especially that base note on "sky".

Doing this post allows me to dive into total denial that the USA is going to Hell in a handbasket. Billionaires doing their best to bust unions and buy up our energy plants. Propaganda media duping the average stupid American into voting against their best interest. The current disdain for anything or anyone intelligent. The worship of greed. The rampant arrogance. The glorification of ignorance. Makes me want to scream.

He's Back! He's Back!

2011-02-24T20:11:00.000-08:00

Coaster Punchman is BACK!
And I'll finally learn what happens in all those stories he started.

A yin-yang weekend

2011-02-21T12:58:00.000-08:00

A very weird weekend - filled with frivolous girly things and deep concerns for the Mideast and unions.

First the fun yin part: Twin #1 and friends needed to be in downtown Minneapolis all day Friday, Friday night, and Saturday morning for All-State Music Festivals. So we took advantage of the all-state discount and booked a room. Then of course I invited a sister to go with me. Sister Cheesecake Maven came along and we had a well-deserved yet wickedly expensive time.

Traveling Nicolett Avenue we discovered La Belle Crepe - a little tiny literal hole-in-the-wall serving amazing food for pennies. They had French Sipping Chocolate which was coffee, dark chocolate, angel tears, ecstasy, eros, agape, and the collective sigh of humanity in a small cup. DAMN that stuff was good!

For supper we splurged on fondue at The Melting Pot. We ordered the full dinner for two starting with swiss cheese fondue, the assorted meats & seafood cooked in red wine broth, and ending with the dark chocolate fondue. We both just crapped our pants with joy. Below is someone else's photo, not mine.

Next morning was BACK to La Belle Crepe for breakfast - can you tell I'm in love? Then on to Macy's for bra shopping. Remember my post about the horrors of this? Well "Donna" in Macy's intimates dept made it all better.

Then the yang: watching with horror the news Saturday morning that the Bahrain military had opened fire on unarmed civilians. And each of us growing more disgusted with the Wisconsin GOP. Seriously? Cutting collective bargaining rights for a labor group? I would agree that there can be some talk about cutting benefits, but bargaining rights should be a given. I also understand that this GOP Governor very quickly squandered a surplus and wants to right the boat on the backs of working folks. How very GOP of him.

BOOM-lacka-lacka-lacka

2011-02-14T11:16:00.000-08:00

Feel like bringin da funk for Valentine's Day. Have a good one!
Hard to say who does this one best.

Not about the food?

2011-02-07T16:06:00.000-08:00

Today I heard something that made my head whip around. Some "expert" was on TV talking about addictions. He was saying "it's NEVER about all the things you're buying, and it's NEVER about the sex, and it's NEVER about the food!"

Well excuse me mister and stop right there. I'm overweight because the FOOD is exactly what it's all about!

I've done a lot of personal research and I can tell you that I'm fat because I freaking LOVE FOOD! I don't binge but I certainly eat more than my share of deliciousness. I turn down plenty of unappetizing things but don't you dare stand between me and some sage-n-onion stuffing!

How can anyone say it's not about the coolness of Top-the-Tater on a salty ridged potato chip?
Or the tenderness of a perfectly grilled salmon fillet with a bit of dill sauce?
Or crusty Italian bread dredged through fresh olive oil and giant chunks of grated black pepper?

And a grilled turkey panini with roasted red peppers and plenty of melted cheese - OOoooohhh like a party in my mouth that is!
And you just don't know heaven until you try my grilled bruschetta with fresh mozzarella.
Or my cousin's teeny tiny homemade red pepper cheddar crackers,
or my mother-in-law's homemade gnocchi.
Does anyone else nearly achieve ecstasy with a perfect plate of sushi?
Does flourless chocolate torte with hot coffee make you weak in the knees like me?

It's not emotional - when I'm upset I can't eat.
It's not bingeing - I've never eaten an entire pie or carton of ice cream and I stop when full.
It's not all food - it has to be really really tasty and wonderful. I'm very picky.

So BACK OFF JACKSON if you think my fatness is somehow a character flaw. I'm fat because I'm really passionate about good food and I want to taste it all.

The Winter of my Random Discontent

2011-02-04T12:57:00.000-08:00

1. Finished "Just Kids" by Patti Smith. I understood maybe 3 references in the whole book.

2. I love salmon. Why does it have to cost so much?

3. As a kid, I used to think I was mentally challenged and no one wanted to tell me.

4. I'm speaking at the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life in April.

5. The hair on my upper lip grows far too fast.

6. I love food. I mean I really love food. And for an overweight woman that is not a good thing.

7. I've started sleeping better since wearing my black-out eye mask. I always felt a kinship with Margaret Drysdale.

8. Days just go better for me if I get up early. But sometimes I have to schedule something to force it.

9. Wish I were going on a vacation this weekend.

10. Don't think I can take another weekend holed-up in our little house.

Take me Away

2011-01-31T15:13:00.000-08:00

I'm ready for a little vacation. And is it mean to think I'd like to go alone?
Nothing against my friends or family, but I'd just like to unplug a little. I'd probably end up napping the entire time. And of course being ME I have requirements.

Access to hiking trails or a long stretch of beach for walking
A large TV and a pile of movies and documentaries
A big pile of books
The perfect overstuffed reading chair with a bright lamp
A great coffee shop across the street and a $50 gift card, and another perfect reading chair
A wonderful sandwich shop next door and another gift card
A giant comfy bed - preferably with a canopy
A giant bathtub with unlimited hot water - with direct views of the TV and fireplace FROM the tub.
A massage wouldn't hurt either.

Songs to REALLY Hate Me By #3

2011-01-28T08:02:00.000-08:00

I can do this entire song from memory. As well as all the other pieces from "Music Man". So can my siblings. You should get us tipsy sometime and ask us to do it for you. You'll either laugh till you pee or you'll clock us in the snoot. This particular version is missing a huge section. Trust me. I KNOW!

Songs to Hate Me By #2

2011-01-26T14:12:00.000-08:00

I visited a Doctor yesterday. He said I've got the Tom Jones Fever

I asked if its common. He answered "Its not Unusual"

Actually DID visit the doctor yesterday. I've got a sinus infection and my asthma is all stirred up. I'm home with steriods, 2 inhalers, and antibiotics. So this is the best post you'll get out of me right now.

Isn't Tom cute? In those lovely days before the afro and chest chair and jewelry took him down a dark road. Before his publicity shots looks like someone had smeared him in taco meat grease. And is it me, or is he rockin a mullet here?

Songs to Hate Me By #1

2011-01-22T21:21:00.000-08:00

Here's my newest series! Songs to Hate me By!
I'm a music lover, and performer. And yes I usually have exquisite and eclectic taste. But sometimes something really cheeseball squeezes past and lightens my mood. Here's my first installment;

Yearly Post about Freezing My Giblets

2011-01-21T21:12:00.000-08:00

I'm sure you saw this post coming down I-35. Every year I have to complain, at least once, about this crazy-ass Minnesota winter weather. Booger-freezing weather. Make you swear like a sailor weather. Tears squeezing out of your frozen eyeballs weather.

My Lord why do humans live here? This morning it was -26 degrees. That's 26 DEGREES BELOW ZERO. The real live temp, without windchill factored in. The local news channel was hammering nails with frozen bananas on their morning show.

But strangely I can still take this better than 95 degrees and 100% humidity, so maybe I'm in the right place. And Minnesotans certainly have a sense of humor and acceptance of the frigid landscape. The U.S. Pond Hockey tournaments are tomorrow in Minneapolis, where over 1,600 players will play outside, and like it! Later will come the St. Paul Winter Carnival complete with ice castle, ice sculpture, and a great custom wine from a winery just 20 miles from me. I sampled some last week and was immediately in love, but at $45 a tall beautiful slim cobalt blue bottle, I'll have to love it from afar.

Tomorrow, locals in my town will gather to sing away winter. From northfield.org: members of the Northfield Historical Society will be serving ice cream and hot beverages at the first Winter Scream. The NHS Exec. Dir has declared "enough is enough - we're going to throw off the tyranny of winter and celebrate with an ice cream social". A communal sing designed to force the weather gods to release Northfield from winter's grip will be held at noon.

Minnesotans - you gotta love 'em. You betcha!

Guvmint

2011-01-18T11:28:00.000-08:00

I'm home with a miserable head cold, so of course my thoughts turn to politics and government. Both give me equal pressure in my head. I started to muse on what "government" should be, so here are my thoughts;

Government should be a force for good in every citizen's life.

Government's main focus should be making sure everyone gets a fair shot, meaning all citizens get at the very least adequate food, shelter, basic education, and healthcare.

Government should be a protecting force; it should have a powerful say over use of natural resources, pollutants, exploitation of the poor etc.

Government should never be in the business of propping up private corporations.

Government should always break up monopolies.

Government and it's use of our tax money should be transparent as hell.

Government should be a fairly constant rollover of citizens serving in leadership rolls.

Government at the state level should have a much great influence over our daily lives. What works in Minnesota isn't going to work for Arizona.

What would you add?

No Shame

2011-01-13T07:38:00.000-08:00

Six innocent bystanders are dead in Arizona. An elected official, a wife, a mother, lies in a hospital bed with a bullet wound through her brain. A couple in Tucson will bury their 9-year-old daughter.

Yet Sarah Palin wants us to watch her video and reflect on how hurt SHE is by the nation scrutinizing her words, actions, and political images.

Can she truly not understand this moment? Must she really interject HER hurt feelings right now?

I have pledged in my own heart to end vitriolic rhetoric when I hear it, and to not write it myself anymore. Therefore I will refrain from name-calling or hyperbolic metaphor both in my speech and my written words. But I will not refrain from calling out bad behavior. And her behavior right now is crass at best. Has she no shame in the end?

No violent suggestions from the right? Let's hear and see it in their own words.

2011-01-11T18:42:00.000-08:00

"Your leaders will be in the enemy’s crosshairs. You never win playing defense, get on offense! The crossfire is intense, so penetrate enemy territory. Use your weapons. Shoot with accuracy; aim high and remember it takes blood, sweat and tears to win. No matter how tough it gets, never retreat, instead reload!"

- Sarah Palin's Biography, America by Heart

"I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back." Michelle Bachmann

Rep. Steve King (R-IA) "If I could start a country with a bunch of people it would be the folks standing out here the last few days. Let’s hope we don’t have to do that. Let’s beat that other side to a pulp. Let’s take them out, let’s chase them down."

On the gay community and same-sex marriage: “This is a very serious matter, because it is our children who are the prize for this community, they are specifically targeting our children.” — Senator Michele Bachmann, appearing as guest on radio program “Prophetic Views Behind The News”, hosted by Jan Markell, KKMS 980-AM, March 20, 2004.

"You know, our Founding Fathers, they put that Second Amendment in there for a good reason and that was for the people to protect themselves against a tyrannical government. And in fact Thomas Jefferson said it's good for a country to have a revolution every 20 years.

I hope that's not where we're going, but, you know, if this Congress keeps going the way it is, people are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies and saying my goodness what can we do to turn this country around? I'll tell you the first thing we need to do is take Harry Reid out."

Sharron Angle in an interview on talk radio, January

"I don't really like to think of it as a murder. It was terminating Tiller in the 203rd trimester. ... I am personally opposed to shooting abortionists, but I don't want to impose my moral values on others." --Ann Coulter on the murder of Kansas abortion doctor George Tiller, FOX News interview, June 22, 2009

"If I'm going to say anything about John Edwards in the future, I'll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot." Ann Coulter

"We need to execute people like (John Walker Lindh) in order to physically intimidate liberals." Ann Coulter

"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building." Ann Coulter

"I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East and sending liberals to Guantanamo." Ann Coulter

''If Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead.'''

—FOX News Channel's Bill O'Reilly, after San Francisco voted to ban military recruiters from city schools, Nov. 8, 2005

''I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. ... No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out.''

—Glenn Beck, May 17, 2005

''The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.''

—Rush Limbaugh

''I just wish Katrina had only hit the United Nations building, nothing else, just had flooded them out, and I wouldn't have rescued them.''

—Bill O'Reilly, on his radio show, Sept. 14, 2005

Proper Under Attire

2011-01-06T13:58:00.000-08:00

I've had inquiries lately as to what, exactly, constitutes a good bra. This was based on a bad day being set off by the last good one falling apart. That question and the curiosity about my 2011 panties have come from one source but I digress. You know who you are.

The following are characteristics of a BAD bra
It was once a pretty pastel hue, but has faded into a mottled gray the color of the February Minnesota sky.
There are thousands of little broken ends of elastic weave popping from the sides.
The underwire has worn through and will impale the wearer's left ventricle next time they bend over.
The side has taken on a dark bluish hue from all the black and navy clothing.
The straps have reached their optimum stretch and can't be tightened further
There is one operating hook in the back where there used to be three.
Every woman owns one, and keeps wearing it because she'd rather chew on tin foil than go bra shopping.

Men have no idea what level of annoyance bras cause. (Well I suppose your average fumbling 17-year-old might in his own way.) For one thing, a good one now costs as much as the GDP of a small emerging country. And hunting for just the right one is like searching for an actual compassionate conservative.

First you have to go to an expensive department store, because all women know that the cheap ones from Target will last about 6 months and cost just slightly less. In the lingerie department, women must get a giant shopping bag or cart and load at least 79 bras in there in an assortment of sizes. You would think something as specific as "36C' would be standard but believe me, one 36C can be just enough for two clementines and the next one can fit one cup on your head. And 36 can mean 25" or 43". It really depends on the manufacturer's mood at the time. And bra makers seem to think that all larger women, meaning anyone over a 36" chest must have Triple-Texas size cups. A 40C is as rare as an honest politician.

So a gal takes all 79 bras to the dressing room but can only take 6 of them in with her. This means getting completely covered to walk out to your cart to get the next 6. Yes it would help tremendously to have an actual sales-type-person BRING you the next 6. But large department stores have a strict policy of one salesperson to every 450 customers so good luck with that. But somehow they are always present to make sure you take only your allotment to the dressing room - then they go on break. And since it's a store that considers itself upscale, the shopper will probably have to heft all of them herself because they don't even have carts on the premises.

Then our girl must try on every single bra. Why you ask? Because 99% of them will fit horribly. And I mean HORRIBLY. They will cut off breathing while the extra large cups are flapping in the wind, or they will turn our chests into horizontal traffic cones. After finding that ONE in 79 that fits OK, women then got back to the rack to get two more just like it. But that's where the tragedy continues. Because the lingerie dept. only carries two of each size and some lucky witch got there first. Or all the others are the ugliest shade of puce ever conceived.

So if she's lucky, she's found one-good-bra, and crawls exhausted to the sales counter to wait another 30 minutes for the elusive sales person. There she must dish out $56-$159 cash and a pint of blood. She arrives home with a migraine and a buyer's remorse stomach ache only to find that the security tag is still attached.

I need no resolutions

2011-01-02T15:33:00.000-08:00

I'm not good at resolutions for myself, but I'm very good at them for other people. So following the tradition I established last year, here are my 2011 resolutions for others:

For Tim Pawlenty - I will just slink away into obscurity and never expose any constituency to my incompetence again.

For John Boehner - I will step away from the spray tan.

For Elected Democrats - I will read Paul Wellstone's "Conscience of a Liberal" and remember what real populist values are, then act accordingly.

For GOP Leaders - I will spend 6 months living on minimum wage so I can get "in-touch" with real America, since I like to use that phrase so often.

For the homophobes - we will recognize that the gays are over us, and we should return the favor.

For Fate - I will quit slapping around Mnmom and her family, give them their livelihood back, and restore Mnmom's ability to cook in a decent-sized kitchen and time to get some reading done. Large lottery winnings should do it.

For Target Corporation - I will recognize that customers are really pissed off and spending their money elsewhere. I will apologize for all political donations and fire that cretin CEO. I will accept my role as the corporate sacrificial lamb on this issue.

For people who actually watch reality TV - I will quit supporting a media phenomena that has dumbed us down as a nation quicker than any Sarah Palin speech.

For FOX - you really don't have to say it . . . . . . we know.

New Year's Eve - not my favorite

2010-12-31T19:07:00.000-08:00

So tonight we were supposed to have a cozy evening with friends. Our kids had plans elsewhere so everything was set. But then the freezing rain set in. While in the grocery store buying goodies, our car developed a thick coat of ice. So we made the wildly unpopular decision that our teen kids weren't traveling to friends' houses, far out in the country, for parties. Some kids came to our place but plenty still went to the in-the-boonies party. Making parental decrees is an inexact science subject to plenty of teen ridicule.

New Year's Eve has always been the raspberry seed in my wisdom tooth. I've truly enjoyed maybe two of them in my life. Often because the weather is dangerous or downright annoying. It's supposed to be all fire-worky and noise-makery and kissy but somehow I just end up feeling cold, cranky, and ready for bed. One of these years I'm going to get a stack of movies, a thermos of hot chocolate, my comfy pjs and invite Johnny C to join me on the couch.

Do YOU like New Year's Eve?

So welcome 2011 - whaddya got? I'm hoping it's a nice fat bundle of money or a lucrative job offer for Johnny C. And of course I want all the usual things like good health, peace, all the best for my friends, etc.
How about you?

After Christmas Blahs

2010-12-29T19:46:00.000-08:00

So how are you? I'm having the stereotypical after-Christmas let down. Perhaps it's the sudden drop in cookie sugar. Or maybe the lack of shopping high. Although I did hit some great after-holiday sales and got some much-needed underwear. I'm sure you feel better knowing I'm starting 2011 with new panties.

Yours truly was well-gifted this Christmas. My kids and Johnny C were incredibly good to me; pjs, homemade pots, cologne, a sweater, etc.

Anyway - let me hear your suggestions for pepping up January and February on a shoestring budget. Yes I do have a birthday in January, but that's just one cold day out of many coming without sun or warmth. Maybe I'll try some new recipes. What I'd really like to do is spend every single day in my new fleece pajamas with a hot drink in my hand. Can't we just make a state law that everything is closed if it's below 10 degrees????

mymy meme

2010-12-26T10:48:00.000-08:00

No one tagged me, but I'm going to just jump right in and play anyway . . . . join me!

1. When do you usually know it's the holidays?
When the stores start decorating, right around Halloween.

2. What do you want for Christmas this year?
I wanted a financial miracle, and that still might happen, but mostly I just wanted a safe warm cozy holiday and I got that in spades.

3. Do you go all out with decorations?
I don't get everything out - each year I pick and choose. But all the nutcrackers come out for a Christmas parade across some shelf or table. I'm never really into it, but I'm happy when it's done.

4. What are you doing Christmas Eve?
The other Italian family in town usually comes over, but this year they had the flu. So we dined well just the 5 of us at home.

5. What are you doing Christmas Day?
What we do every year - open presents, eat waffles with berries and cream, then stockings, then laze around snacking all day, watching holiday movies, and playing board games.

6. It's Christmas time. What are you reading?
Dave Berry's "I'll Mature When I'm Dead" - I needed a little levity.

7. Favorite movie to watch during the holidays?
"It's a Wonderful Life" and "Muppet Christmas Carol", or "White Christmas"

8. Favorite Christmas song?
O Holy Night, sung by Phyllis Willer at late night services, First United Methodist Church Decorah, Iowa during my growing up years. Phyllis left us years ago, but that memory will stay with me forever.

9. Favorite holiday drink?
Hot chocolate

10. How is your Christmas shopping going?
I got it all done with lots of time to spare. We keep the budget low!

11. If you could spend Christmas Day anywhere else, where would you spend it?
In some kind of space/time warp machine so my parents could be with us.

12. Any holiday traditions?
Lots - special ornaments on the tree, waffles Christmas morning, shrimp scampi Christmas Eve, cookies, movies, etc

13. Favorite thing about the holidays?
How people just try to be better and more generous. And of course the food!

Buche de Noel Success!

2010-12-25T14:24:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to make an authentic Buche de Noel, aka a Yule Log Cake, for many years. Last year's was a disaster when the genoise cake fell apart. This year however - SUCCESS! I used my own trustworthy scratch cake recipe and buttercream frostings.

Here is the "log" before decoration.

And behold! A lovely log from the snowy forest floor!

I set Twin #2 to the chore of molding the marzipan. According to my direction, she created luscious edible mushrooms and pine cones. The whole thing was as delicious as it was pretty.

Can you spy cupcake eyeing the results?

We've decided this is a new tradition. So fun and so rewarding.

Our Christmas Eve guests had to bail with the flu, but we had a warm and merry time thanks to the spiced wine, chicken parmesan, shrimp scampi, and Buche de Noel.

This has been a wonderful Christmas - wishing the same for you and yours.

Christmas Eve Update

2010-12-24T13:56:00.000-08:00

The du Noel has been Buched, the wine is mulled, the nuts are spiced and soon the chicken will be parmesaned, the shrimp scampied, and the Eve-ing underway. Our regular Christmas guests had to bail with the crud. But we will make merry on our own. The Hippocras is one of my favorite holiday drinks - just enough to get all warm and merry. Just wish I had some medieval-type goblets!

HIPPOCRAS - warm spiced wine

2 quarts of good red wine
1T. ginger
2T. cinnamon (use less!!)
1/2t. nutmeg
6-7 whole peppercorns
9-10 whole cloves
1/2t. rosemary
1 cup sugar

Pour wine into a large glass jar. Add ginger, cinnamon, and nutmeg. With a pestle or the edge of a heavy fry pan, crush peppercorns, cloves, and rosemary together. Add these and the sugar to the wine. Stir well. Cover and let stand at least 12 hours - stir once during that time. We put ours in the mudroom where it's cooler. Strain well and heat on low or in a crock pot.

The Christmas Race is in the clubhouse turn . . . .

2010-12-23T12:13:00.000-08:00

The title is from the book above. Cheesy, perhaps, but this little book has always been one of my favorites. We're in the clubhouse turn here. Grocery-getting scheduled for tonight, then a full-on Christmas eve kitchen assault involving Chicken Parmesan, Shrimp Scampi, spiced nuts, and perhaps a Yule Log cake. Our annual Christmas Even guests - the other paisano family in Northfield - is bringing the salad, bread, and antipasti platter. Today I'm scrambling with laundry and getting gifts into bags.

Last night I achieved one of my non-gift oriented Christmas activities - visiting the American Swedish Institute in Minneapolis:

No, not that one.

This one, which for $6 admission was a whopping good time. Our planned evening was cut short by inexplicable traffic on I35 - took us over an hour to go 15 miles. But the one hour we had was well worth the drive. This place is amazing! All lit up and decorated for Christmas. One of my favorite things to tour are old mansions. I always envision living there. I took three teens with me and they loved it, much to their own surprise. They've even got things to entertain little ones. How did I miss this gem for 13 years?

The evening was rounded out by a drive-through at White Castle on Lake Street. The teen friend with us had NEVER had a White Castle! Can you imagine? He's hooked now. Another nice white boy discovers trailer-trashdom at my hands.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Music

2010-12-22T22:22:00.001-08:00

Norwegian Sweaters Save Christmas

2010-12-17T22:20:00.000-08:00

This is the native costuming of immigrant offspring where I grew up. Our little corner of Iowa was packed full of Norwegians, better knows as IOWEGIANS.

These sweaters are ridiculously expensive and therefore the only status symbol among unusually rigid frugal folks. On the male gender they often substitute for a sport coat. On the females they are to be worn with sensible slacks. They are practical as they are beautiful because Norwegians wouldn't have it otherwise. They are made from such high-quality wool that they can repel water. And just scratchy enough on the inside to maintain a Norwegian's required daily discomfort level. They are rated to 40 below.

Appropriate Iowegian family Christmas photos usually involve these intricate coverings. And if most of the family, or at least those of the same gender, can wear the same print all the better. Prospective marriage partners must sign legal documents stating their intent to purchase the family pattern before the next holiday photo date.

The above photo is NOT an Iowegian. Norwegians don't wear their sweaters for active play. They are for "good" much like those embroidered towels in the bathroom. You don't muss them up outside. You wear them to midnight services at First Lutheran, or to the Jul Fest at Luther College or the Christmas Fest at St. Olaf. They are for quietly sitting and reflecting on your sins, suffering with good Lutheran guilt, and maybe chasing that down with some weak coffee.

PS - Homemade Norwegian sweaters are not acceptable, unless your great-great grandmother made it in Oslo and brought it with her to America in her rosemaled trunk.

The Best Things Happen When You're Dancing

2010-12-16T18:41:00.000-08:00

Johnny C and I often do this after dinner. The kids just hate it. Our house is rather small, and we frequently knock over lamps, knick knacks, and the Christmas tree. This means I always end up spilling something on my dancing frocks or stepping on someone's head, but small price to pay for pure bliss.

Go back to your homes and places of business . .

2010-12-15T18:11:00.000-08:00

I'm as boring as death lately. Nothing to see here.

Feeling blah going into the holidays. Johnny C says I state this every December. Even my predictability has become predictable.

Eating way too many carbs in the form of Christmas cookies and my energy level shows it. Most days I just want to pull on my elastic-waist pjs and crawl into bed after work. A good book or movie just seals the deal.

We had a wicked good snowstorm on Saturday - perhaps you heard about it? It really was something to watch - from inside - with coffee. Johnny C took it as a challenge and ran errands, including a coffee delivery to Deanna. He's a mighty handy man that guy. See below.

Next week school, and therefore my job, are out for winter break. This year I resolve to keep my parenting expectations low - meaning I've given up on any Ma/Laura/Mary Ingalls moments. Instead I'll just take it as it comes. One thing I will do, even if it's by myself, is visit the American Swedish Institute in Minneapolis. They are showcasing an exhibit on artist Haddon Sundblom - the man who solidified the American version of Santa Claus in the Coca-cola ads of the 20th century. A coworker was gushing about all the other offerings there and now I'm determined to see it. Anyone want to come along? My great-grandmother Hannah Petersen from Sweden would be proud of me.

I blame the recent extreme cold for most of my ennui and angst. Going outside when the air hurts is not much incentive to leave my flannel sheets. And giant piles of snow just make every single errand such a damned chore! The thick layering of mittens, parkas, scarves etc does not help - like dealing with the world from inside a sleeping bag. Add to that the darkness that settles at 4:30pm.

Oh Solstice, where for art thou?

Recurring Dream is Making Me Crazy!

2010-12-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

HELP ME! I've been having this dream almost every night for years - what the heck does it mean?

We are moving into a large unkempt home in the country or a very large city lot. It usually has lots of outbuildings, sometimes a pool, usually gardens, with all in need of some TLC. Throughout the dream I'm very excited about the construction magic Johnny C will work on the place, but also frustrated because I know it'll take a while. And all of them have a KILLER kitchen and dining room, and lots of bedrooms for kids and visitors. Often the house belongs to my friend Amy P and has a ballroom in the attic.

Here are some general images:

Inside the house and outbuildings are piles of clutter - some of it wonderful and some of it junk, but we must sort through all of it. It's as though the previous occupant died or ran away and left everything behind.

What do you think?

A Christmas List

2010-12-10T23:27:00.000-08:00

Things I love about Christmas
The smell of pine
The homemade foil/cardboard star on our tree
COOKIES!
Really good Christmas music
Winter Walk in downtown Northfield
Store windows
Muppet Christmas Carol
Reading the original Dickens
The quiet of Christmas Eve
A Christmas Story - you'll shoot your eye out kid!
Candles
How people just get a little giddy
Our Christmas morning tradition of waffles with strawberries and whipped cream.
My shelf full of nutcrackers, received as gifts from my kids.
Christmas cards
Christmas Eve traditions with the "other" Italian family in town.

Bah Humbug!
Christmas music from Mariah Carey, the Beach Boys, etc
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Merchants putting out Christmas things before Thanksgiving.
All the commercials for big expensive presents
Every year some family's home is broken in to and all their gifts stolen
Missing my parents so bad it hurts
Bragging Christmas letters.
My obsession with frosted sugar cookies and fudge

Eat Many Cookies

2010-12-08T15:25:00.000-08:00

As if National Cookie Day didn't fill my house with enough dangerous carbs, Cupcake brings home another 1.7 cubic tons of homemade morsels from a friend's house. If we eat only cookies 3X per day I've got every meal covered for the next 3 months.

Now to share; here are two of my recipes that have been requested. And BTW I always double the batch. I mean, why go to all the trouble of making cookies without making some for the freezer?

Egg Nog Spritz

3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 cup butter, softened
2t. vanilla
2t. rum flavoring
1 egg
3 cups flour
1t. fresh grated nutmeg (if you haven't tried fresh nutmeg yet, you are in for a real treat!!

Rum Glaze
2T. butter, melted
3/4 cup powdered sugar
1t. rum flavor
1T. water
Grated nutmeg to taste

Heat oven to 350. In a large bowl, beat sugar and butter on medium until fluffy. Beat in vanilla, rum flavoring, and egg until smooth. Beat in flour and nutmeg.

Use a cookie press according to directions. Form desired shapes on an ungreased cookie sheet. While I'm partial to using parchment paper for baking, it won't work with spritz cookies. The dough just won't "stick" on the paper surface and release from the cookie press.

You could also form this dough into a finger-width roll, and cut into small bite-sized logs. Or you could roll it out and cut small shapes.

Bake 6-10 minutes until edges are lightly browned. Cool 1-2 minutes then remove from the cookie sheet to a smooth surface for cooling further.

Mix ingredients for rum glaze. If it's too thick, add more water. Too runny? Add more powdered sugar. Pour glaze into a small resealable sandwich bag, then cut off a VERY TINY corner at the bottom. Squeeze the bag to drizzle glaze on the cookies. Or make it slightly thick and just spread it on with a small spoon.

Mocha Orange Pinwheels

1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 egg
1t. vanilla
1 1/2 c. flour
1/2t. baking powder
1/4t. salt
1 square (1oz) unsweetened chocolate, melted, then cooled
1t. espresso powder (optional - which sounds silly because the title says "mocha" but it was late at night and I'm lazy so there)
1T. freshly grated orange peel. Do yourself a favor and use fresh. Don't use that horrible freeze-dried abomination.

With mixer beat sugar, butter, egg, and vanilla in a large bowl until creamy. Sift together the flour, baking powder and salt until blended, then beat it into the soft dough. Divide the dough into two bowls.
Combine melted chocolate and espresso powder in a bowl. Add 1/2 of the dough until blended. Mix orange peel into remaining 1/2 of dough until well blended. Shape each section of dough into a 4x5 rectangle. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate for 2 hours. (Dough can be frozen at this point. Defrost WELL before moving on).

Roll out the chocolate dough between two sheets of lightly floured waxed paper to a 12x7 rectangle. Repeat with the orange dough. Place the orange dough on top of the chocolate dough. Gently press them together. Roll up, jelly-roll style, starting with the 12" side. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate until firm. This roll can wait in the frig a couple of days if need be.

Heat oven to 375. Cut the dough with a sharp knife into 1/4" slices. Eat the ends immediately. Place 1/2" apart on parchment covered cookie sheets. Bake 7-10 minutes or until set.

VARIATION - you can also make these into Chocolate-Cherry pinwheels! Don't add espresso to the chocolate dough. And to the other 1/2 instead of orange peel, add 1/4c.red maraschino cherries, finely chopped and drained on a paper towel. Also add 1 drop of red food coloring and 1/4t. almond extract.

Suddenly, I want a cocktail.

2010-12-06T21:02:00.000-08:00

Take 11 minutes out of your day and laugh till gin comes out your nose.

Sweet Photos, literally

2010-12-05T17:17:00.000-08:00

Saturday was Cookie Extravaganza! Annually, the lovely MG and I get together to bake piles of Christmas cookies. This year's event was extra special because 1. We met our MN Blogger friends MommyLisa, Lesli, Whiskey Marie, and Cathy (who's blog has has gone into the witness protection program) for happy hour and cookie exchange and 2. It was National Cookie Day! Lovely MG once again swallowed the bitter pill of cookie disappointment when his chocolate crinkle recipe failed for the 3rd year in a row. Gotta admire his tenacity. The bitterness was magnified by my relative ease at chocolate crinkle success.

MG and I hustled our sugar-coated asses to get to the blogger party on time. We arrived to a relatively empty restaurant. With much self-righteous indignation as the time ticked by, we couldn't believe the others had canceled without telling us. MG searched FB on his Blackberry for cell phone numbers. We called but no one answered. Finally Lesli checked her messages and called back. MG and I were waiting in the WRONG RESTAURANT next door!

MG's sugar balls of butter followed by my chocolate crinkles.

MG's date/cherry balls which are incredible!!! Last year I literally made myself sick on them they are that good. On the right is MG's version of WhiskeyMarie's Fucking Awesome Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Above are my Egg Nog spritz and Mocha/Orange pinwheels

One of our many Christmas card attempts. Pretty much all of you are FB friends too, so FB email me your mailing address so you can get a card!

Above is a pancake I made for cupcake. Do you see the baby seal in it? That is NOT photo shopped! It actually came out like that.

Below is MY version of WhiskeyMarie's Fucking Awesome chocolate chip cookies.

Above, more of my egg nog spritz.

Below is the countdown calendar cupcake and I made. I'm getting crafty in my dotage. We used cut up grocery bags and bits from the craft crap bag. Then strung the little bags on a ribbon and pinned it up. Each day the "Christmas Fairy" leaves them a little treat. Yes my kids are too old for this, but hey it's CHRISTMAS so get off my back!!

Mended

2010-12-03T16:15:00.000-08:00

I'm back - went to work today and all is fine. Spending a few days horizontal, and on drugs, wasn't too bad. Except there was a reason I needed the Percocet, and that stunk frankly.

You other Moms - do your kids and husband live like animals when you're sick? Once I'm thinking clearly I get a good look around and marvel at how fast things degenerate without my consistent nagging. Proof that I really am the heart of this family, and I need to get healthier so I can keep my job. The other sad thing about being a Mom is that folks don't take CARE of you the way you do when THEY are down and out. Don't get me wrong. Johnny C brought me my drugs, and brought home so chicken fingers. But they aren't a MOM and don't do it like a MOM.

Right before surgery, when the anesthesiologist is listing my medical maladies, it dawned on me that I'm now a cliche. A boring fat midwestern female cliche, with the requisite GERD, sleep apnea, etc. At least I'm not diabetic . . . yet.

This is not a good realization right before Christmas Cookie Season! Tomorrow is my annual cookie day with MG, followed by a cookie exchange with the Minnesota Bloggers. So maybe I'll start making better choices on Sunday, Yeah Sunday, that'll work.

End of an Era

2010-11-30T19:13:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow will be the end of my reproductive life. Because of some recent "unpleasantness", I'm having my insides redecorated. Not a total renovation - just a little remodel.

My kids have been vaguely aware this is coming. Tonight one of the teens asked about some details then, in all caring honesty, asked "So no more babies?"

Nope, no more babies my lovely. Hasn't really been an option for awhile, but willingly and knowingly shutting that door feels kinda sad. I have loved having babies more than I can relate with mere words. Me and my endometrium - it's been a good run.

Full as a . .

2010-11-26T21:12:00.000-08:00

I blame it all on my family. If they weren't such good cooks, I could restrain myself. But damn if we don't make the most delicious food ever. With no limit. All over the place. In a fun setting. I never stood a chance.

Here's what we had available at Thanksgiving:

Smoked Turkey
Fried Turkey
Roasted Turkey
Smoked ham
Mashed potatoes and gravy
Gruyere-onion-cream potato galette
Stuffing - 2 kinds
Baked squash
Whiskey cranberry sauce
Gingered cranberry sauce
Green beans
Spinach salad with bleu cheese, craisins, nuts, and homemade dressing
Spinach balls
Veggie tray extraordinaire with spinach/veg dip or pesto dip
Rolls
Pumpkin pie
Pecan pie
Apple pie
Red Velvet cake

All this gluttony followed by multiple games of 500 and Celebrity. Darling MG taught us Celebrity a few years ago and it's now a family tradition. Here's how it's played but don't blame me if you have a cardiac arrest from laughing. The funniest part is when the younger kids are better than the adults.

CELEBRITY!

Take everybody, and divide the group into 2 teams. Whoever refuses to play must clean up the entire kitchen by themselves. Designate a person to keep time on each team.

Give EVERYBODY 2-4 slips of paper. If you have a lot of people, do just 2.
Everybody writes the name of a "celebrity" on their slips. Try to make them names everyone in the group is likely to recognize - authors, cartoons, actors, musicians, etc. You can even use the names of people there, or mutual friends. You may have more than one person write the same name - that's OK!

Put all those slips in a bowl, and have an empty bowl ready as well.

ROUND ONE - someone from team #1 volunteers to go first. Someone from team #2 holds the guessing bowl full of slips ready for player #1 to draw from. Someone on team #2 has their watch or timer ready to time one minute.
Timer says "GO"
Player #1 takes a slip of paper from the bowl and using words, songs, etc gets their teammates to guess the correct name. If they get it right, player #1 throws the slip in the empty bowl and takes another etc etc. If the team is stumped, player #1 throws the slip at their feet and takes another. This keeps going until timer says "STOP!". If they were in the middle of a guessing round, that name slip goes back into the guessing bowl. Team #1 counts how many they got right, and subtracts any they had to skip. KEEP SCORE!

Someone puts the correctly guessed slips from the 2nd bowl in a pile off to the side. The skipped names go back into the guessing bowl.

Then a volunteer from Team #2 goes, and Team #1 keeps the time. This goes back and forth until all the slips are gone.

ROUND TWO
Starting and playing just like Round One, except this time the player can say only ONE WORD! and NO GESTURES! This is where anything that happened in round one comes in handy.

ROUND THREE
Starting and playing stays the same, but this time it's pantomime, like charades.

Pre-Thanksgiving Moment

2010-11-23T18:39:00.000-08:00

So I'm shopping for Thanksgiving ingredients. My sister calls and asked if I'm bringing the veggie tray because cousin Sarah asked if SHE was bringing it, and she said that no, I think Mnmom is, and what should SHE bring?

Sister #3 is bringing a potato dish, and brother is frying the turkey, and who the hell is making the stuffing? We didn't know, so she'll call cousin Sarah.

Meanwhile I hit the produce section and realize no one has claimed the cranberries! So I call sister #2 back while I'm unloading my groceries and we realize no one has claimed rolls either and of COURSE what does this remind me of??

GOBBLE GOBBLE!!

Gettin Jiggy with the Veggie Tray

2010-11-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

Much like Kirby, I'm bringing the veggie tray to Thanksgiving. Either my family is being very kind since I'm traveling over 2 hours that morning, or this is their subtle way of saying "we hate your cooking".

Americans like their veggie trays in standard formation, don't they? Vegetables arranged in spokes coming from a nice round bowl of ranch dip in the middle.

But what if I spiced things up? Luckily my family would get a hoot out of it. And I'm making SPINACH dip!

Here's something fun - a cabbage dip bowl! Nothing says "greedy pig-dog American" like using food as a decoration.

I'm partial to THIS design. It's reminiscent of us Midwestern women and our unshaved legs in the winter.

Off center, stacked, kinky, I like it!

PESTO! I've got lots of that in the freezer!

AND I'm bringing Red Velvet Cake. But I make mine in a jelly-roll pan - it goes lots farther that way. An old pot-luck trick.

So what are YOU making for Thanksgiving?

mmmm smell that?

2010-11-18T18:08:00.000-08:00

Anyone who's known me for even two seconds or been to my house knows I love my candles, especially at the Holidays! So I'm hoping to win a glorious one from Leslie - one of the famous Minnesota bloggers! You can go to her place and enter her contest - she's giving away a rather pricey candle, some treats, and other goodies.

Today has been interesting - including the smell of electrocuted flesh. OK I'm being dramatic, but yes I was electrocuted.

I've been having some nerve pain that's been getting on my nerves (HA!) for years, so I'm finally seeing a doctor. Today they did a test to truly measure or record or whatever sadistic neurologists do. I should have known I was in trouble when he starting taping metal plates to various spots on my hand and arm. I was expecting a little hum. He put a scary looking instrument on my inner arm and calmly said "here comes the first shock".

"JESUS CHRIST!!!" I cried as I levitated 3 feet off the table! I barely inhaled when he evenly stated "and another".

"HOLY SHIT!!!" I screamed as I crapped my pants. Then started laughing hysterically. OK I didn't really crap my pants but the hysterical laughter and trucker swearing went on for quite a while. He never blinked, which tells me it's a standard reaction or he's Dr. S&M.

But he wasn't done, oh no. The session went on to an electric needle that he stuck in various muscles of my arm, shoulder, and neck. His conclusion is that yes indeed I have carpal tunnel but he hasn't ruled out Lyme Disease. The good news is that I'm alive and my profanity gland is in excellent working order.

Hey there! Come on in!

2010-11-16T18:16:00.000-08:00

Geez it's good to see you! You can put your snowy shoes on the rug. Can you believe this weather? Summer last week and head first into winter today.

You want sugar with that? oh, and here's the creamer. You just KNOW I have half-n-half. And try that pumpkin bread, I made it yesterday. What are those little crunchy things in pumpkin bread anyway? No they aren't eggshells, I'm very careful about that.

So how are the kids? Oh that's great to hear. Yeah your oldest one is a pistol - you deserve sainthood for not sending that one to a foster home. He's just like his father. Your Mom doing better? I was so sad to hear that she'd joined the Tea Party. Have you scheduled the intervention yet? Seriously how are you going to survive Thanksgiving at her house? Does she still pray for Sarah Palin?

Yeah I'm still reeling from the mid terms. America is one giant mess of stupid people, isn't it? Does anybody READ anymore? I can accept that someone disagrees with me, but to be proudly ignorant and have no awareness outside FOX just astounds me. I really think we need to just split the country in two - we go to our corner and they go to theirs.

Cookies?

What's up here? Well my twins' room smells like a dead body and we can't figure out why. Youngest has classmates complaining they can't see around her poofy hair. The engine light in the van has been on for about a month, and the sliding door pops open at random moments. Our teeth have all developed problems now that we've dropped dental insurance and I'm down to one good bra.

We need to do this more often, ya know? Gad it's great to see you!

Veterans Day

2010-11-11T17:38:00.000-08:00

Each and every day, I am grateful that many Americans are willing to give up their civilian life and enter a world of extreme service. A world where they leave their families for months or years. A world where they might be asked to die for my protection. To those folks, I say a heartfelt and enduring thank you! Veteran's Day belongs to you, and this grateful nation will not forget your sacrifice.

To those who would take those brave Americans and throw their lives & limbs down a sewer for monetary gains, for unlimited corporate contracts, for control of natural resources, well, Veteran's day is NOT for you. For you I have nothing but contempt and anger. On Memorial Day & Veteran's Day you should visit the maimed and damaged in a Vet's home, visit the widowed and orphaned, visit the bombed-out families of Iraq and Afghanistan, then go take a long hard look in the mirror and into your soul. You should be ashamed.

And for the rest of us, we give these people one or two "days" and call it a thank you? How about we make sure their families aren't on food stamps. How about we give them free high-quality medical care for the rest of their lives? How about we put their kids through college? How about we pay for their flights home? How about we give them all laptops so they can SKYPE or email with their families? How about we make sure they have the best protective equipment money can buy? How about we never send them in front of bullets and bombs unless it's absolutely necessary?

And now a word from our sponsors

2010-11-10T17:52:00.000-08:00

I'm not at all opposed to a little free publicity here on my blog for products I use. Like Shutterfly.
We've been using Shutterfly for about 12 years for our Holiday cards. It's simple, pretty, and CHEAP and you all know that right now THE CHEAP is my middle name. One year we made a personalized calendar for my mother-in-law with everyone's birthday on it. It was a big it.

So I couldn't resist an offer to blog about their products and get 50 free cards because, you know, THE CHEAP. It's real - bloggers get free holiday cards from Shutterfly, follow the arrow à http://bit.ly/sfly2010
Got a holiday part coming up? Use their invitations.

I'm rather partial to these designs for this year - what do you think? And no - none of those pictures is my family - they are samples from the website.

Here's where the GOP can cut

2010-11-06T09:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Smaller-Gummit-cut-costs Politicians.
Time to put your money where your mouth is. In the name of smaller government and lower costs, I expect to see some REAL proposals instead of easy rhetoric. If you're serious I expect you to start with the following:

1. No more health insurance for either house of Congress. Go out and pay for your own like the rest of us.
2. No more free parking anywhere in DC - see #1
3. No more free outpatient care from military hospitals - again see #1
4. No more obscenely inflated pension plan.
5. No more furniture expense accts - go to the store room and find something you can use.
6. No more free income tax preparation. Take it to CPA firm - create some jobs!!!
7. No more tax deduction for maintaining a second residence.
8. Frequent flyer miles no longer available for personal use. Only business. Anything leftover is donated to our military service folks so they can go home on leave. And always fly coach so you can prove you are "in touch" with real America.
9. No more free health club or cafeteria meals.
10. No more voting on your own pay raises. Time for "merit pay" like you demand for teachers, who by the way make about 1/4 of your salary and work under dismal budgets.
11. How about immediate expulsion and a steep fine for any of you taking lobbyist gifts worth more than $100. I don't mind if they pay for your dinner, or give you some pens and note pads, but anything else is just immoral. I'm talking to you, John Boehner.
12. No more "franking" privileges to create a favorable public image. Just do your job - that should be enough.

Sources:
http://dcrepublican.com/2009/02/17/strange-congress-congressional-perks-you-pay-for/
http://www.kiplinger.com/businessresource/forecast/archive/Congressional_Perks_070619.html
http://www.ntu.org/tax-basics/ntu-vault/congressional-perks/congressional-perks.html
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/19/AR2007011901911.html

Teabaggers can kiss my ass

2010-11-05T19:36:00.001-07:00

Oh don't you just KNOW I have a lot to say about the midterm elections.
But it will have to wait - still too busy.

Why???

2010-11-01T07:24:00.000-07:00

Questions that keep me awake at night . .

Why can't we just move Christmas to January 25th?
It's not like December 25th has any claim to it - that date was just a Catholic attempt to put down solstice celebrations. And Biblical scholars all agree that based on scripture, Jesus would have been born in the Spring. Having Christmas on January 25th would give us all a little breather - a little more time for parties, cookies, music, etc. Retailers would be foaming at the mouth for one more month of Holiday shopping. Thanksgiving would be a stand-alone holiday again, and not an appetizer for the "big one". Lazy people would have a legit reason to leave the lights up. And those of us living up north could bring a little cheer to an otherwise rather bleak month. I'm telling you it's a win-win.

Why do we keep observing daylight savings time?
I mean seriously, what's the point? Up here in Minnesota we get about 8 minutes of daylight from November through February so it's no big difference to us.

When did it become a badge of political honor to be a dumbass?
I'm with my friend CH who says anyone running for office should have to pass a basic civics and govt exam. I'm rather partial to my leaders being smarter than me.

Why can't middle aged people get a good night's sleep?
I've never been more busy or stressed out in my life, but I can't sleep. When I was 16 I could sleep for days. And all I had to worry about was my sisters borrowing my clothes, running low on Bonnie Bell lip smacker, and whether I had enough cash to buy the new Eagles album.

Why do costumes for girls get increasingly "sexy" with each year?
Why can't girls and women dress up for Halloween without cleavage and thigh-high stockings? Why must young girls get their hooker on by age 3?

Happy Halloween from Wanda

2010-10-31T11:55:00.001-07:00