Tuesday, April 17, 2012

What not to say

If someone you know is trying to lose weight, please refrain from the following . . .

1.  Telling them that the vegetables they are eating are high glycemic.  They are VEGETABLES for chrissake not M&Ms
2.  Telling them they need to add more weight or length or height or depth to their exercise.  If they are moving at all, shut up.
3.  Remarking on their choice of salad toppings.  They are easing away from Big Macs into healthy choices so just support them.
4.  Telling them they COULD be losing weight faster if they really wanted to.  Maybe, maybe not.  But they could also be gaining weight so again, just support them.
5.  Unless you've lost a significant amount of weight yourself, do not tell them you understand.
6.  Do not EVER tell them they lack willpower.  Some folks have a much harder time stepping away from food.  Same way some folks crave alcohol, or cigarettes, or reality TV.
7.  Making negative comments about their method.
8.  Getting into a conversation about all your most hated body parts and how fat you look.  That's just depressing.
9.  Saying "It's about time you lard ass!"
10.  Contradicting their doctor's advice about food, exercise, medications, etc unless you can produce your own license to practice medicine and nutrition services.
11. Being the food police.  Nothing makes someone want to bitch-slap you more than commenting or giving dirty looks over their food choices.

But feel free to . . . .
1.  Tell them every chance you get that you love them no matter what.
2.  Enjoy their company and not watch their food intake.
3.  Go for walks with them, at their pace.
4.  Have them over for yummy healthy food, without remarking how healthy it is
5.  Tell them how good they look
6.  Tell them you admire their strength

Monday, April 9, 2012

You'll eat them all, with ketchup

To all you new or young parents out there . . . .
A friend and I were laughing ourselves silly over all the things we said we'd NEVER do, or would ALWAYS do before we had kids.  Well before.  Well, Well, before.  Before we ate every single word, deep fried, with ketchup.  And you people will eat them too.

1. I'll never use the TV as an electronic babysitter
2. I'll never let the family car get THAT dirty
3. I'll never yell "SHUT UP" at my kids
4. I'll always tell them the absolute truth
5. I'll never feed them crap like Kraft Mac and Cheese
6. I'll never let them sleep in our bed
7. I'll never go nuts over home improvement in the months leading up to their graduation party
8. I'll never let my teen daughter wear a thong
9. I can't ever see myself hiding in the bathroom from my kids
10. I would never spend useless time on the computer, then tell them it's "work"
11. I will never let them go out in public wearing superman pajamas and cowboy boots
12. I won't let them snack between meals
13. No Happy Meals
14. I will NEVER let my teens talk to me like that!!
15. Public tantrums?  MY kids will KNOW that won't fly with me.
16. When they are out of control, I will just reason with them
17. We'll have such an open relationship, they'll tell me everything
18. My kids will NEVER lie to me
19. I will NOT let my daughters get into Disney Princess things - those things are so sexist.
20. My sons will not have toy guns